|Quotes • Headscratchers • Playing With • Useful Notes • Analysis • Image Links • Haiku • Laconic|
We care a lot about the Army, Navy, Air Force and MarinesWe care a lot about the wars you're fighting, gee! That looks like fun!
We care a lot about the N.Y., S.F. and L.A.P.D.
We care a lot about you people! We care a lot about your guns!
—Faith No More, "We Care a Lot"
Money, Incorporated is catching a lot of flak for bad environmental practices, price-fixing, mistreatment of employees, and all kinds of Corrupt Corporate Executive-ness. So what do they do? Make a Public Relations Ad showing how much good they do, and just how much they really care about the Earth/Little Guy/Mom and Apple Pie/what have you. We really do, honest!
In reality, however, this company does not care. It never cares. This company is dead set against caring. The CEO doesn't allow the corporation to take an action that decreases projected profits, for any reason. Period. If it looks like it's bending that rule, you can bet there are a bevy of charts and graphs showing how the PR will pay for the losses.
When the theme is "We care about the environment", this is commonly termed greenwashing.
When the entire company acts like this to everyone, that's Peace and Love Incorporated.
- The You Don't Know Jack commercial parody. It's also on the "The Ride" version of "You Don't Hear Jack"
- Monsters, Inc.. "We scare because we care."
- In Tommy Boy, Ray Zalinsky's big honkin' auto parts ads always end in how much he cares about families. So much so that even Tommy is impressed, despite the fact that Zalinsky's attempting to buy out Tommy's hometown auto parts company just for the name, which would put hundreds (including Tommy) out of work in the process.
- In the Steven Seagal movie On Deadly Ground, the Big Bad's company, Aegis Oil, is filming a We Care commercial with caribou and seals covered in oil and basically milking it for all it's worth. But the instant the director says "cut," the first words out of the Big Bad's mouth are "Fuck! These animals stink!" and he's yelling at his men to get the animals out of there.
- In Michael Clayton, fictional company United North Cared a Lot.
- In the movie Pump Up the Volume, Hubert Humphrey High School's principal started hanging up posters promoting a student outreach program called BIONIC (Believe It Or Not I Care), encouraging troubled teens to call a phone number on the posters. The posters were nothing but a trap to catch pirate radio broadcaster Christian Slater with a wire-tapped phone.
- Spoofed in the Discworld novel Going Postal: "They had even instated an 'Employee of the Month' program to show how much they cared. That was how much they didn't care."
- Old Saturday Night Live commercial parody: "We don't care. We don't have to care. We're the phone company."
- The same bit in The President's Analyst from 1967, where TPC (which literally stood for "The Phone Company") controlled virtually everything, and didn't care who knew it.
- In a Thirty Rock episode, a character played by Steve Martin invented a fake company called SunStream. The ads covered up the fact that they didn't actually do anything by simply showing the words "innovation", "tomorrow" and "America" flash across the screen accompanied by inspirational images and music.
- Used in at least one Simpsons comic with "Globex Corporation - We Dominate Because We Care"
- The Wolfram & Hart video from the "Harm's Way" episode of Angel.
- In the first season of Better Off Ted, each episode had a fake We Care commercial for the evil corporation that is the setting for the show.
- One of Craig Ferguson's more common gags is to mock the "CBS [his network] Cares" ads.
- On The Colbert Report Stephen showed this commercial from his sponsor Prescott Oil.
- The plot of one episode of How I Met Your Mother involved a commercial of this kind for the Goliath National Bank, the employer of Barney and Marshall. The latter at first refused to appear in the ad, because of the GNB's evil Mega Corp status, but eventually changed his mind after he made one employee very happy by firing him.
- The plastic surgeon in the music video for TLC's "Unpretty" has this as their slogan. Needless to say, that particular facility cares more about its bottom line than its patients. For example, a girl is shown having (perhaps botched) breast implants ripped out of her while she is still awake, causing the Pinball Protagonist to rethink her plans to get breast implants.
- Spoofed in Grand Theft Auto III: pay attention to the radio, and you'll see a
NikeEris Running Shoes ad claiming that nope, their factories ain't sweatshops, no sir, hell no. Then you hear some kids saying "It's cool! We get to play with knives!", "My friend stitched his hands together the other day!", and "Yesterday, I made a dollar!".
- "Spirited debate. It's the cornerstone of our philosophy here at the Hanso Foundation..." One of many from The Lost Experience. Players of the game of course know how evil these guys are.
- The UAC from Doom 3.
- Skewered in The Onion article entitled GE Ad Trumpets Company's Government-Ordered Environmental Cleanup
- After the BP oil spill, this became reality: ads reminding viewers that they were working to clean up the spill were all over television. What's worse was that an investigation uncovered that the plans they had written out in case of such a disaster heavily prioritized PR over actually cleaning up the spill.
- In the wake of BP's oil spill catastrophe, a fake Twitter account popped up, signing off most of its tweets with #bpcares. For instance: "We've created something that will affect your children's children. Can YOU say the same about YOUR life? #nailedit #bpcares"
- In Futurama, Mom's Friendly Robot Company has these commercials. Arguably, it's their entire public image.
- In Batman the Animated Series Goth Corp's Slogan was "The People Company". The CEO Ferris Boyle (Voiced by Mark Hamill) tried to kill Mr Freeze's wife after he found out that Freeze was using company equipment to cure her fatal disease and he is also responsible for Freeze's condition.
- Parodied in Dinosaurs with the "We Say So" corporation.
- Played with Hank Scorpio in The Simpsons. His compassionate nature and the new job he hired Homer for seem too good to be true. He's a Bond Villain and a Benevolent Boss.
- Bio-Technical Corporate Concern Limited Company. We have no idea what we sell.