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Vigilantes[]
Convoy[]
- Big Good
- Cool Old Guy
- Disney Death: In the second game, he is killed by Slick Clyde, but resurrected when Houston goes back in time to turn the tables.
- Happily Married: To Houston.
Houston[]
- Action Girl
- Frickin' Laser Beams: Her special weapon in the first game.
- Heel Face Turn: After she removes OMAR's wristband, she joins the Vigilantes and marries Convoy.
- Sassy Black Woman
John Torque[]
- Earthquake Machine: His special weapon in the first game.
- The Gambler
- Number Two: To Convoy.
- Shockwave Stomp: His Bass Quake weapon.
Sheila[]
- Action Girl
- Gatling Good: Her special weapon.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: She joins the Vigilantes against her uncle Convoy's will, hoping to prove herself to him.
Chassey Blue[]
- Action Girl
- Boobs of Steel
- Happily Married: To Agent Chase at the end of the second game
- Ms. Fanservice
Dave[]
- Aliens Are Bastards: His special weapon (a UFO attack) is one of the most annoying in the game.
- Cloudcuckoolander
- New Age Retro Hippie
Coyotes[]
Sid Burn[]
- Big Bad: Of the first game
- Pyromaniac
Slick Clyde[]
- Big Bad: Of the second game.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive
- Face Heel Turn: He joins (and takes over) the Coyotes after putting on Houston's mind control armband.
- Lightning Can Do Anything: His special weapons all involve lightning.
- Rhymes on a Dime
Keiko "Obake" Uzumi[]
- Action Girl
- The Dragon: To Slick Clyde.
- Heel Face Turn: At the end of the second game.
- Instant Awesome, Just Add Ninja
Boogie[]
- Disco Dan
- The Dragon: To Sid.
Molo[]
- Big Bad Wannabe
- The Bully
- Jerkass
- Lethal Joke Item: His special weapon, which is actually the most powerful in the game.
Beezwax[]
- Grumpy Old Man
- Hoist by His Own Petard: He gets blown up after one of his bees sets off a nuke.
- It's Personal: He joined the Coyotes because government nuclear tests mutated his bees.
Drifters[]
Y the Alien/Garbage Man[]
- Aliens Are Bastards
- Destroy All Humans!: His goal in the first game, since his friends were dissected by scientists.
- Tomato Surprise: He is revealed to be the Garbage Man in Second Offense.
Astronaut Bob O.[]
- Ax Crazy
- Cloudcuckoolander
- Everything's Better with Monkeys
- Tomato Surprise: At the end of Second Offense, he is revealed to be a monkey.
Agent Chase[]
- Dogged Nice Guy: To Chassey Blue.
Padre Destino[]
- Bolt of Divine Retribution: He gets vaporized by a fireball from heaven after trying to bring about The End of the World as We Know It via a cult ritual.
- The Fundamentalist
- Hell Gate: His special weapon opens a portal to the underworld, which then shoots his vehicle out of the ground from underneath the targeted car.