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File:Two Best Friends Play 1920.jpg

Matt (left) and Pat (right) are here to teach you all about the power of friendship.

Cquote1

Matt and Pat!

They're friends who play together

Learning and sharing and junk!

One is nice

and the other one is less nice!

Who couldn't love Matt and Pat?

Best friends play together!
Season 2 intro song[1]
Cquote2


Two Best Friends Play is a Web Original comedy series found on the Machinima's YouTube channel.

The series is a MST of sorts; two friends named Matt and Pat play video games, argue, and mock the game they are playing and each other. The series does not focus on the two friends; they weren't even named until the second season. According to the show's Facebook page, it started when The Switcher (Matt) invited his friend Snapshot King (Pat) over to play Kirbys Epic Yarn and record themselves taking their playthrough way too seriously. Besides that nothing is known about them; Matt sounds younger and enjoys Lighter and Softer games, and Pat sounds older and likes Darker and Edgier games, though based on the pictures on their Facebook page they look the same age.

Most videos goes two ways: either Matt and Pat play a bad game and ridicule the game and each other for suggesting that they play it, or they play a good game poorly and complain about how much the other one sucks at it. Either way we never see them complete the game, but that's not the point.

The videos are edited so the audience only sees highlights of their gaming session; they are around ten to fifteen minutes long. Trailers for the videos can be found on the author's original channel here, which has their Kirbys Epic Yarn and Silent Hill: Shattered Memories videos, their mini-episodes, the episodes for the Super Best Friends Brawl spin-off (which involves Mat, Pat, and Woolie competing in local multiplayer games), and their Resident Evil 2, Silent Hill: Downpour, and Final Fight Streetwise Let's Plays. The show's Facebook page can be found here.

All the pop cultural references are documented on the series' Shout-Out page.


Games that the two friends have played (in order of episodes):

Season 1


Season 2


Season 3


Season 4



Tropes this series has:

Cquote1

 Matt: Not a good day, my super best friend black guy, just totally--

Pat: Yeah, Franco really bought it.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: *reading aloud* YOU DO NOT HAVE THE VETO BECAUSE I HAVE KIDNAPPED MIYUKI OF YOUR YOUNGER SISTER.

Cquote2
  • Bond One-Liner:
    • Rise of Nightmares is full of them doing these, in response to nearly every single NPC's death.
    • In Survival, after killing a bear, Matt quips "Man, we barely got away from that encounter!"
  • Bootstrapped Theme: "Green Greens" was only used as the opening music for the pilot episode because they were playing a Kirby game, but it's been used since to open every other video.
  • Brick Joke: Early on in the Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks video, they established that unlike some of the other games they have played co-op, they actually are working together and can't kill each other. Matt points out that they'll probably find a way to kill each other later. Sure enough, they did.
  • Buffy-Speak: Matt does a light version of this on occasion.
Cquote1

 Pat: You don't even know what incognito means...

Matt: It means that people can't see me, with, their eyeballs.

Cquote2
    • And later in that same game they discuss going into "sneaky-stab mode".
    • In Portal 2, the word science gets abused. "Science it up. You're science-ing right now!"
  • Call Back:
  • Catch Phrase: Matt is fond of yelling "America!" when he wins something or sees something patriotic.
Cquote1

 Pat: Why do you keep saying that!?

Cquote2
    • Eventually, it gets to the point where when they play Resident Evil 4, this conversation happens:
Cquote1

 Matt: Invade America, will you!?

Pat: You're in their country!

Cquote2
      • Strangely enough, they actually avoid yelling "America!" during the Metal Wolf Chaos video, the most patriotic video game ever made. Maybe its because Matt would be yelling it every 10 seconds. Or maybe it's because the game basically does it for him.
    • Pat's prepared response whenever Matt urges him to do something.
Cquote1

 Matt: Hey, [verb] that [noun]!

Pat: Oh, I'll [verb] the shit out of that [noun].

Cquote2
      • This one is somewhat subverted with "Pick up that file!"
    • They're both fond of describing awesome things (either for real or in Sarcasm Mode) as "bomb ass" and things that are exciting are referred to as "hype" as in "this is the hypest shit!" Pat also likes pronouncing "babies" as "babbies."
    • "See ya later, fuckers!"
    • Any sexual joke said by Matt is usually followed by "Get it? It's like sex..."
    • "Wanna join my Bible Black club?"
    • Pat going "Why would you do that?!" whenever Matt does something befitting of a jerkass or just plain stupid.
  • Chekhov's Gun: At the beginning of Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, Matt has trouble reading the control instructions that appear on the screen. Then at the end of the video, Matt listens to Pat who tells him to press X to make the parachute glide faster, instead of reading the instructions on screen that say pressing X will make the parachute collapse.
  • Colbert Bump: T.E.C. 3001 has gotten a fair bit of publicity thanks to their ringing endorsement of the game in the second Xbox Live Indie Games video, prompting the developers to publicly thank them.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: After a Stunned Silence as the protagonist of Heavy Rain mourns the death of his son, Matt quips "Man, what a loser."
    • In Gears of War 3 Pat complements Dom's "Wife Killing Beard".
    • When Matt runs into the first character in Rise of Nightmares, the first thing both of them think is to try and beat her with a lead pipe.
      • After Matt gets scared after Pat's jump scare, Pat proceeds to mock Matt's terror.
  • Continuity Nod:
  • Covert Pervert: Whenever Matt runs into a lady NPC in Rise of Nightmares, he hovers the hand icon over their chests or butts.
Cquote1

 Pat: Okay man, I wasn't exactly gonna ask or anything, but why won't you stop touching all the-*cut to next clip*

Cquote2
  • Cluster F-Bomb: The friends swear all the time, usually in frustration, though Pat casually replaces other nouns with "shit".
  • Critical Research Failure: Deliberately invoked. They play Red Dead Redemption, but gameplay shows that they're actually playing Gun, and the tags on the video list it as Call of Juarez. This is more in-character than the creators making a mistake, since they somehow switch over to Redemption at the end.
  • Curb Stomp Battle: When Matt or Pat (they are not sure who) invites their friend Woolie to play Marvel vs. Capcom 3 with them, he brings his own arcade controller and tears Pat to bits. The friends are not amused.
Cquote1

 Woolie (as X-23): Yeah it's kind of unblockable when you're jumping in, and you're at level three.

Pat: Sh-shut up, shut up. Just get out.

Matt: Get out!

Pat: Get the fuck out!

Matt: Get ouuuuuut!

  • cut to credits*
Cquote2
  • Deadpan Snarker: Both of them are a couple of smartasses. For example, during Ken's Rage when they are reading the move list:
Cquote1

 Matt: The moves are probably super complicated.

Goes to move list, normal attack is eight x's in a row

Pat: Holy fucking shit are you serious?

Matt: Okay, let me write down what normal attack is.

Pat: Okay: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.

Matt: What was after the fifth x?

Pat: x, x, x.

Matt: Okay.

Pat: x.

Cquote2
  • Distracted by the Sexy: Invoked almost exactly by name during the Kirbys Return to Dream Land playthrough, in which Matt inadvertently kills Pat through the game's Intimate Healing mechanic.
Cquote1

 Matt: You got distracted by our makeouts!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: If you think we die.

Pat: What is up with you and saying that?

Pat dies

Matt: You thought!

Pat: Oh, you're right, I totally did! I thought about what a dick you are. (dies again) Fuck, I guess I was thinking it again!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: Blow him! Blow him.... I mean, blow on him.

Cquote2
    • In the Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage episode:
Cquote1

 Matt's getting his ass handed to him by Kenshiro

Pat: You just took it all up in your face. Bet you're used to that too!

Cquote2
    • This early joke from the Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks episode:
Cquote1

 Matt: It's so long.

Pat: That's what she said. About my dick. She said it about my dick.

Matt: I don't-

Pat: When she said that, she was talking about my dick.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: There's a penis in there!

Matt: ... Yeah, mine!

Cquote2
    • And during the Catherine playthrough, Matt hits on Erika, although Pat doesn't tell him.
  • Dumb Struck: What happens to Matt at the end of the Donkey Kong Country Returns video when he wastes their last life jumping over a cliff which he thought might have a token under it.
Cquote1

 Pat: Why won't you say anythin-*cut to credits*

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: You failed everything! You have literally failed everything. The whole game is over now, but it'll still let you play it, to let you know how you fucked it up so bad.

Matt: At least I was wearing sweet cut-offs.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: I think that black gentleman may have acquired that man's bicycle.

Matt: Do you now?

Pat: I do.

Cquote2
    • When they see a bunch of people running for a helicopter in Gears of War 3:
Cquote1

 Pat: Ohhhh, I feel like I should say something here.

Matt: I think you're gonna have to get inside that helicopter with urgency.

Cquote2
    • Upon being attacked by a cougar in Cabela's Survival: Shadows of Katmai:
Cquote1

 Pat: Oh, fuck! It's a cougar!

Matt: Get away from me you sexy older lady!

Pat: I don't have any use for your worn-out charms!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: Why do I even come over here?

Matt: Um, 'cause you're my friend.

Pat groans

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: So nothing bad is going to happen?

Pat: Nothing bad is going to happen.

Cut to G La DOS crushing Wheatley

Matt: Oh fuck! You said nothing bad was going to happen!

Pat: To you!

Matt: Nigel!

Cquote2
    • And another during the Punch-Out!! video when they are playing Super Punch-Out!! and Matt loses to Mr. Sandman:
Cquote1

 Matt: Aw fuck, great, terrific! I got the Wii Punch-Out; that shit's got to be-

Pat: Everything for the Wii is for babies.

Matt: They're for babies! It's so easy it's just gonna-

Cut to Donkey Kong kicking Matt's ass

Pat: Oh what the fuck?!

Cquote2
    • And another when the two are picking out armor for Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon.
Cquote1

 Matt: What color should I take?

Pat: Pink.

Matt: No.

Pat: Pink. Take the pink one. Take the pink color.

Matt: Why would I take pink?

Pat: Because it suits you. Take the pink one.

Matt: No, I won't take pink!

Pat: Take the little girly color! Take it!

Matt: Shut up!

Cut to the two dropping into the game. One of them is wearing pinkish armor.

Pat: Yeah, come on, Pinky!

Matt: Shut up! It doesn't matter which color I am.

Cquote2
  • Got Me Doing It: After getting annoyed at Matt calling Wheatley "Nigel" in the Portal 2 episode, Pat accidentally calls him by that name and promptly gets more pissed off.
Cquote1

 Pat: We all gotta sneak around, and be sneaky, and then stab.

Matt: Sneaky-stab mode?

Pat: Sneaky-stab m-...You fucking tricked me into saying that stupid thing.

Matt: I didn't trick you you just wanted to say it.

Pat: I kinda wanted to.

Cquote2
  • Groin Attack: As Matt and Pat are quick to point out, the snakes in Man Vs Wild really do look like they're biting Bear Grylls in the groin.
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: In the first match of Super Punch Out, Matt and Pat decide Mac must be some kind of monster for delivering a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to Gabby Jay, an old man who hasn't won for 99 fights.
Cquote1

 Matt: Shouldn't Mac feel a little bad about-

Pat: Just beat the shit out of that old man! He knew what he was getting in for!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: Blend! Blend! Blend with me! Someone blend with me!

Cquote2
    • Matt also has numerous moments in Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater, minor offenses starting with wearing high-profile American flag face paint or hiding in a cardboard box...in the middle of a forest.
Cquote1

 Pat: You're gonna get detected, man.

Matt: No way, I never get detected!

Cut to an enemy being alerted to Snake's presence

Matt: Oh shit! Nothing, it's nothing!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: You're not even on top of my leaderboard!

Matt: I don't wanna be on top of anything that has to do with you.

Pat: Augh... gross!

Matt: Get it, it's like sex...

Cquote2
    • And there's them fanboying over Cole Train in Gears of War 3.
    • Directly invoked when playing Kirbys Return to Dream Land upon discovering the ability to heal your companion by kissing.
Cquote1

 Pat: Get off so we can make out.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: Hey dude, come frolic in the blood with me, let's go.

Pat: I thought you'd never ask...

Matt: Oh, this reminds me of that one summer...

Cquote2
  • Hurricane of Puns: The Rise of Nightmares video features a pretty lengthy version of this.
    • It's not just isolated to the Rise of Nightmares vid. In fact, a good bit of the humor is puns. This is usually done when someone dies in a unique way, like in Rise of Nightmares.
  • Insurmountable Waist High Fence: Discussed numerous times when playing Captain America.
Cquote1

 Matt: I'm not super enough or soldier enough to go up these one foot tall sandbags! 50 million dollars well spent!

Cquote2
  • Instant Win Condition: They suddenly beat the opening level of Survival, and Pat wonders what the hell happened to the wolves that were attacking the protagonist a second ago.
  • It Amused Me:
    • In Assassin's Creed Brotherhood Pat informs Matt of a "sweet" achievement which involves scaling a rather large building and safely parachuting off of it. The endeavor takes a few hours and frustration on both sides, but ends with Matt succeeding. Until Pat tricks Matt into letting go of his parachute and killing himself. Also he didn't get the achievement because of the aforementioned death.
    • In Resident Evil 4, Pat tells Matt he can get gold and items from shooting the fish in the lake. The fish monster in the lake promptly eats him.
    • This is more or less the reason Pat makes Matt play Dead Space 2.
  • Jump Scare: They are really fond of evoking these, having done so in Dead Space 2, Mortal Kombat 9, and Resident Evil 4.
    • Pat pulls this on Matt during the Amnesia video, leaving to go get a snack and then waiting for Matt to run into a monster before jumping out and yelling "Boo!"
  • Jumping the Shark: Invoked in a rather literal fashion in the Donkey Kong Country Returns episode:
Cquote1

 Matt: Jump the shark! Jump the shark!

Pat: I don't wanna jump the shark! ...Aw, we jumped it.

Cquote2
    • This was in reference to the series getting greenlit on the Machinima channel.
  • Jump Physics: Commented on in Survival.
Cquote1

 Pat: Dude, look at that jump! That's like a real human being's jump. ... No one in games jumps like this, this is totally legit.

[One scene later, the game abandons realism and the character makes a massive leap across a chasm.]

Matt: Whoooooa! That's a jump!

Matt and Pat, in unison: Fuck Bear Grylls!

[Even later]

Pat: Man, he's like the mayor of fucking Jump Town with that shit.

Cquote2
  • Large Ham: Sometimes they like to ham up a scene now and then.
Cquote1

 Matt: Hey Pat, what's the prognosis here?

Pat: MUUUUUUUUUURDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEER.

Cquote2
    • The Heavy Rain video is them overreacting to the control introduction.
  • Lampshade Hanging: While playing Catherine, the two wonder why somebody would want to be friends with people who treat them like shit all the time.
  • Laughing Mad: Pat breaks down in laughing anguish in Duke Nukem Forever when two alien enemies slowly drop down from a hole in the ceiling (with no footing and topped with an industrial fan) from out of nowhere.
  • Memetic Badass: Invoked. The Man Vs. Wild episode has interstitials offering facts about Bear Grylls. Apparently, as a child, Bear Grylls learned from electric eels how to channel electricity through his body. He once nursed a family of mountain lions back to health until they were strong enough for him to kill and eat. He once met Cthulhu, who ran away in terror.
  • Mismatched Eyes: Upon noticing that Togo, the sled dog from Survival, has one blue eye and one green eye, Pat speculates that Togo must be Yuna reincarnated.
  • MST
  • Musical Chores: It's gonna be fun when we solve science.
  • Nameless Narrative: The two friends did not call each other by their names in the first season. The Season 2 intro reveals their names are Matt and Pat, which they then call each other at the end of the Resident Evil 4 video.
  • No Indoor Voice: Shouting seems to be Pats normal way of communicating with Matt.
  • Not the Fall That Kills You: Pat finds Assassin's Creed Revelations' use of a grappling hook to be slightly unrealistic:
Cquote1

 Pat: Can I just point out that, if that was real, he's like falling off a fucking ledge, and sticks out a little hook? His arm's gonna come right the fuck off!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: How'd Togo get here?

Matt: Togo, you were down at the mountain, like at the base camp.

Pat: Dude, is that dog, like, quantum leaping? Is that dog time-traveling?

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Matt: Old Betsy, the Whore of Steel.

Cquote2
    • Matt spinning the motorcycle around in Ken's Rage and to make Pat sick from the motion blur.
  • Paper Tiger: For all of his bluster and snarkiness, at around 8:55 in the video, Matt too falls prey to the gnawing horror of Amnesia. And a Jump Scare from Pat.
  • Patriotic Fervor: Matt loves him some America. He even named his character in Demons Souls "AMERICA".
    • Not to mention his Big Word Shout at the end of the Captain America video.
    • However, according to their Youtube and Facebook accounts, they're Canadian.
      • Evident in that Matt apparently works at Eidos Montreal, and Pat sometimes lets out an "eh" at the end of his sentences. As for why they prefer America, they're on record for calling Quebec a "shithole".
  • Percussive Maintenance: Done as a joke in the Batman: Arkham City video: the video starts with gameplay from Batman: Dark Tomorrow and they hit the TV to change it to Arkham City
  • "Previously On...": Pat tries to explain to Matt the backstory for F.E.A.R. while F.3.A.R. does its own version, and makes the whole thing sound stupid and overcomplicated. Matt doesn't pay attention.
  • Prison Rape: Continuously referenced and joked about in their Prison Break video. They found the showers and walked out instantly.
  • Rapid-Fire "No": Pat's reaction to Matt wanting to play Survival is this for half a minute, without letting Matt get a word in.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Pat, despite favoring Survival Horror and M-Rated games more than Matt, has My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic wallpaper on his computer. Matt is weirded out by this.
  • Real Song Theme Tune: The intro and outro song is "Green Greens" from Kirby, even when the upbeat song does not fit with the game they are playing.
  • Running Gag:
    • During their SNES playthrough, they repeatedly call back to the game they played at the beginning of the video, Time Cop.
    • Pat continuously brings up Reptile's invisibility while playing Mortal Kombat 9, whether he's actually onscreen or not. This has shown up in their Earth Defense Force, Skyrim, and Metal Gear Solid HD videos as well.
    • More often then not, the episode will end with one of them screaming something.
    • They love mocking bad jump animations.
    • See you later, fuckers!
    • Playing "Snake Eater" every time a character goes up a ladder.
    • Repeated references to Pat's uncle being an absolutely horrible human being.
    • Referring to black characters as Woolie.
    • Although this isn't intentional, it still sort of counts: Matt's consistently awful navigational skills and his tendency to throw the fireaxe in the Silent Hill: Downpour Let's Play.
  • Sarcasm Mode:
Cquote1

 Pat: Yay, here we go again. Having so much fun with this Vampire Rain.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: Alright, I'm sure this will turn out awesome. I'm sure I'll have loads of fun with you, playing this cooperative mode.

Cquote2
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Matt and Pat sometimes quit the game they're playing in frustration.
    • Matt Rage Quits Amnesia when he's had enough of the scary.
    • The two wordlessly quit playing Shadows of the Damned when they get to the staircase with heads rolling down it.
    • In Catherine, when they find out they have to have another conversation with the unlikable Katherine they quit with a double "Nope, fuck you bitch!"
    • Matt rage quits Drake of the 99 Dragons because the game is too terrible even for him.
  • Seinfeldian Conversation: Once in a while.
    • Pat explains to Matt the backstory to Metal Gear during Kane and Lynch.
    • They chose to discuss the recently released 3DS and what kind of present to get for a friend during two separate cutscenes in Resident Evil 4, neither of which they realized had quicktime events embedded in them.
    • Matt's overanalyzation of Earth Defense Force 2017 as Japan's response to the War on Terror.
    • Almost the entire WWE All Stars video is them discussing the wrestler's careers.
    • In Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon, we hear a snippet of a conversation about Greek philosophy while Matt's playing the single-player game. Turns out Pat's a fan of the Socratic method, and thinks that Aristotle held back modern thinking by hundreds of years.
    • Much of their Resident Evil 2 playthrough is this, with them discussing various backstory elements of the RE-verse, including disdain for the SD Perry Novels and spin-off games, as well as Arnold Schwarzenegger's filmography, the merits of System Shock, and other various topics.
    • Matt explains the plot of Kane and Lynch to Pat during the ladder sequence in Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Matt and Pat, respectively. Though calling Matt sensitive is a bit of a stretch.
  • Sidetracked By the Golden Saucer: Matt really gets into the coloring segments of Shattered Memories, to Pat's annoyance.
Cquote1

 Pat: That's it, that's it, I'm outta here.

Matt: This is awesome.

Pat: Fuck you.

Matt: Well, I mean-

Pat: *slams door*

Later when Matt has almost finished coloring in the entire page

Pat: Okay, dude, I knew I blew up. I'm sorry, but- Are you still coloring this? Are you serious? You have been coloring this the entire time I've been gone? What's wrong with you? You're like, the worst person I have known in my entire life.

Matt: Well, this is fun.

Pat: God, I hate you so m-We're no longer friends.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: You put that shit as your cellphone ringtone?!

Cquote2
  • Sophisticated As Hell: Pat's insults are normally restricted to "your mom" jokes and telling Matt he sucks, but on one occasion he calls Matt "the winter of his discontent". Matt takes it as a compliment.
    • Matt may very well be right, since the phrase roughly means "the end of unhappiness". Pat's only reasoning behind the supposed insult is that "winter sucks".
      • In full context the 'end of unhappiness' bit comes after with the "made glorious summer by this sun of York" line, therefore calling him his 'winter of discontent' would probably still count as an insult.
  • Space X: All over the place in Dead Space 2. Space raves, space AIDS, space eyes, space future, and space-wikis.
    • And in Catherine we get SPACE CONFESSIONALS.
    • As well as in the "Duke Nukem Forever" Bloopers/Outtakes video, near the end, Pat refers to the area as "space-man" corridors in frustration.
    • Pat introduces us to space badgers in Mass Effect 3.
    • In their Rise of Nightmares video, Pat refers to a Romani fortuneteller as a "space prostitute."
  • Sturgeon's Law: Save one game, every indie game the friends played was crap.
    • Also true in the sequel compilation, with one game emphatically getting the TBFP Seal of Approval, to the point they were playing the game in the beginning of their next video.
  • Stunned Silence: Being that they're offscreen, it's fairly ambiguous, but there was a moment of silence during Kane and Lynch and Disaster: Day of Crisis which had both friends completely silent as opposed to their normal behavior, probably to play up how ridiculous the game was at that moment.
    • There's another one during Heavy Rain, when in contrast to them talking loudly over the prologue, they sit silently and watch Ethan's sad life until Matt calls Ethan a loser.
    • Another in Shadows of the Damned: Matt hears a noise, then begins looking around for it. He turns the character to see dozens of severed heads rolling down the hill toward him. Both guys watch in silence before quitting the game.
  • Subverted Catchphrase: Matt spends the entire Captain America video avoiding his "AMERICA!" catchphrase (He rarely even uses the character's full name) despite the insistence of Pat. Until the end when he launches into an epic "AMERICAAAAAAAAAA!" while Cap does a flying punch on a robot.
    • Again in Metal Wolf Chaos. Matt and Pat only say the word "America" three times, and two of those instances were during a conversation about the actual landmass.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: Pat most certainly didn't die during the course of their Resident Evil 2 Let's Play, and they most certainly didn't edit the video.
  • Take That:
    • From Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days:
Cquote1

 Patt: God, this is why All Points Bulletin isn't a fucking game anymore.

Matt: Too Soon.

Pat: *chuckle* No, no. Making fun of All Points Bulletin is not too soon.

Cquote2
    • From Disaster: Day of Crisis:
Cquote1

 Pat: I'm gonna jump on his face. Ohhh, take that Jason Statham, Transporter 3 was garbage!

Cquote2
    • Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage has multiple take that's directed at KOEI:
Cquote1

 Pat: So how's it control?

Matt: Uh, controls like a shopping cart, actually.

Pat: Oh KOEI! Consistent, at least!

Cquote2
    • During the Xbox Live Indie Games video:
Cquote1

 Matt: We're in a gladiator arena in Halo armor fighting dinosaurs?

Pat: This game is dogshit!

Matt: At least it's better than fucking ODST.

Cquote2
    • Upon seeing the LJN Toys logo before playing True Lies:
Cquote1

 Pat: Oh, fuck!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Pat: Dude, where the fuck did you get a Kinect?

Matt: Uh... I was just kinda, you know, dumpster diving behind the deli, and someone had just thrown one out. So you know, why not?

(later, upon seeing zombies)

Pat: Oh, awesome, they locked fucking Kinect testers in here.

Matt: (as a Kinect tester) "Oh my god, I wasted so much money!"

Cquote2
  • Ted Baxter: Matt when they play Marvel vs. Capcom 3, because he had been playing it for a while and this was Pat's first time. Pat quickly learns how to kick Matt's ass, and demonstrates that he actually knows who the characters are.
    • Matt claims to know all about 1940s history when they play LA Noire, but he clearly doesn't.
  • Tempting Fate: Twice in Survival. Matt wonders what's the point of shooting some birds; almost immediately afterwards, said birds attack him. Later, Pat the game is starting to get boring, then in the next scene a bear starts destroying an entire camp by itself.
  • That Came Out Wrong: During Gears of War 3:
Cquote1

 After some windows that looked on a bunch of tentacles growing out of the ocean close

Matt: They say "Hey look at this thing" and the windows close like "Nuh uh".

Pat: You only get a taste.

Matt: You only get a taste of the tentacles... that sounded terrible.

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 Pat: Okay, let's do this, let's get this over with. Come on.

Matt: This is gonna be fun, right?

Pat: Okay, yeah yeah, the game is awesome. But you're...an idiot.

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    • Pat isn't impressed by the beginning of Survival, either:
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 Pat: The first thing I see is a cursor on the screen and a character running towards the camera. What a good sign of things to come!

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 Matt: Togo? What's that? Pat's stuck in a well? Well, I don't care.

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  • Too Soon: Pat does not think it's Too Soon to make fun of All Points Bulletin during the Kane and Lynch video.
    • Invoked again during the Demon's Souls video, just as a huge dragon appears onscreen with a bunch of villagers in its mouth :
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 Matt: I think he got his revenge on the developers of Lair!

Pat: Too soon!

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 Pat: It came out!

Matt: No...

Pat: It came out!

Matt: Okay, you encoded something on a disc, and you put it in here to troll me.

...

Pat: Downloadable content?! They still didn't finish the whole game!

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  • Video Game Cruelty Potential: If they can kill someone in a game, it's a safe bet they will.
    • Matt goes particularly nuts during Deus Ex Human Revolution, and eventually just starts punching out and stabbing everyone, culminating with telling Megan's mother about how her daughter died horribly and painfully followed by punching her in the face.
    • Their video for The Punisher; unsurprising, given that's the entire point of the game.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Even though it says "Best Friends" in the title, they keep insulting each other every time they play together.
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 Pat: I'm dying again. I'm dying -- Stop calling me friend!

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    • Another example during Gears of War 3:
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 Matt: Is there any better screen than "Pat has died"?

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 Matt: Oh great, caves. I love caves.

Pat: Don't you like dark, moist places?

Matt: I like your mom's dark moist place.

Pat: How about I kill you?

Matt: How about no?

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 (After Pat is poisoned and killed)

Pat: Aw, fuck!

Matt: Ahaha! Yeah, you're a real combat specialist!

Pat: Your mom is a fucking combat specialist.

Matt: What?

Pat: With my dick.

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  1. Sung to the Green Greens Theme from Kirby
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