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  • Jack, handcuffed below deck:

 Jack: What else could go wrong?

[Cue water trickling in across floor.]

Jack: Oh, SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!

  • The scene where Rose is trying to cut the chain on Jack's handcuffs. When she proves herself to be about 6 inches off target, the look on Jack's face has this troper rolling on the floor every time.
    • Take a better look at the actual scene. She's also 6 inches off target when cutting the actual chain.
    • Even better? Winslet actually hit his hand during one take (thankfully, he wasn't hurt). What you see in the movie is the best take she could manage!
  • "Hold on Ms Trudi!" Cue sliding down the ship and flashing undergarments to everyone.
  • Rose's last lines to Jack are pretty hilarious in an unintentional way: "I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go!" Whoops down he goes!
  • Rose and Jack's Big "Shut Up!" moment.
  • "Over on the bed—the couch."
  • "Do you know Freud? I think you'll find his insight on the male preoccupation with size quite interesting."
    • After she leaves, the guy she makes the comment to is confused and asks who Freud is, and if he is a guest on the ship.
      • The guy in question being Bruce Ismay.
  • After Old Rose is asked what happened after the nude sketch. "You mean, did we...do it?"
  • "She's a goddamn liar! If she'd lived, she'd be over 100 by now." "101 next month." "... Okay, so she's a very old goddamn liar!"
  • Rose giving their pursuer the finger and trilling, "Bye!" as they go down in the elevator.
  • This troper's mother chuckled/laughed at the victim who hit the giant propeller as they fell.
    • It's made better by the giant GONG noise he makes as he hits the propeller.
    • Rest in peace, Propellor Guy. You died for our chuckles.
  • During the first break in the narrative, only Rose's granddaughter and the expedition leader seem to be paying much attention to her story. When it cuts back again after the scene of Jack drawing Rose, they're all listening intently.
  • The salvage-crew member who talks so exuberantly all through the CGI animation of how the Titanic sank, then looks absolutely mortified when Rose points out that she was there, as he realizes he's been recounting a tragedy she'd seen kill hundreds of people as if it were a brain-dead action movie.
    • Especially the part where he describes the stern rising out of the water--or, as he puts it, "she's got her whole ass sticking up in the air -- And that's a big ass!"
  • The scene where Thomas Andrews informs the ship's captain and officers that the ship is going to sink:

 Andrews: From this moment on, no matter what we do, Titanic will founder.

Ismay: [incredulously] But this ship can't sink!

Andrew: She's made of iron, sir! I assure you, she can.

  • There are actually still a lot of funny lines during the most intense moments. It sort of accents the sadness when suddenly you giggle and you're right back to crying. This troper's favorite occurs when Jack and Rose are trying to get up the stairs and someone is in front of them praying....

 Random Guy: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death....

Jack: Care to walk a little faster through that valley?

  • "Jack--this is where we first met!" Cue WTF expression from Leo.
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