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The official character page can be found here.

John Kossler:

 "Aw, man. I can't read you self-confident people or what you're doing and why you're doing it. If I could, I'd, you know... do it too."

Introduced in issue 1, John is one of the comic's central characters, based primarily on the author and artist of the work. John is relaxed and easy-going with a self-deprecating sense of humor. He wishes for a girlfriend but is so overcome with anxiety at the thought of asking a woman out that he doesn't really bother.

Yorick Kingsley:

 "Ladies and gentlemen, the performance has come to close. I imagine many of you are upset about the things you saw tonight. Others by my liberal use of monkey blood. These feelings are natural and expected... This is the goal of the performance artist."

Grace Gomez-Gonzalez:


  • Black Best Friend: Grace to Lillith, although she's come into her own since Day Two started.
  • Characterization Marches On: Grace started out as merely a foil for Lillith, but has since gotten more character development than she.
  • Does Not Like Men: More specifically, she doesn't want an immature man.
  • Sassy Black Woman: Played with in that her sass seems to be a defense mechanism.
  • Smoking Is Cool: Played straight when Lillith looked up to her as she was the only character who smoked cigarettes regularly, now subverted since it's been revealed she's just as vulnerable as the rest of the cast.

Jason Kirkwood:

 'Jason: "You need to inflict your personality on women as soon as possible."

John: "You mean afflict my personality on women. Inflict is only used for inanimate objects.

Jason: "Yeah, I know."

Lillith Vandenheuvel:

 Grace: "It makes sense. Wait until you know he digs you and then attack so he never sees you coming."

Lillith:"Considering how long it's been since my strategy worked, no one's seen me come in a while."

Sam Kirkwood:

 "So basically I'm giving up a $30,000 a year job to be able to act like a 14-year-old again?"

Nick (Poor) Trotmann:

"Why do you hate me?"
—Poor Trotmann to his alarm clock after being awoken by a particularly nice dream.

Elienne (Elly) Collins:

 "It's so surreal. You wake up and find out you're not who you thought you were."

Harry the Hipster Byrnewald:

 Morris: "You're pretty much the Gestapo of Upstate New York, Harry."

The Mayor:

 Harry: "You kinda ruined my childhood there, Mayor."

The Mayor: "Yeah, well, you ruined your mother's figure, so you know... Even Steven."

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