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  • "My blanket! My blue blanket! Give me back my blue blanket! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
    • "I'm hysterical!" *splash* "I'm wet! I'M WET! and I'm still hysterical and I'm WET!" *SMACK!* "I'm in pain. I'm in pain, I'm wet... AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL!"
    • The "Hysterical" scene is truly hilarious, but the 2005 remake earns extra points in this troper's book, simply because Max's 'comforting happyface' reminds me so much of the eyes-rolled-back-stupidly-grinning ':D' face commonly used 'round the web, and for adding the line:
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  Max: Who's my little accountant? Who's my little accountant? You are! Yes, you are! You're my little accountant!

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    • And Max's "please, you're making me hysterical" face before that.
    • "You're gonna jump on me! You're gonna jump on me and squash me like a bug!!!"
    • The Genius Bonus of calling him "Prince Mishkin" makes it even better.
  • The entire Springtime for Hitler song. "Don't be stupid, be a smarty! Come and join the Nazi party!"
    • The audience's expressions. Dear God, the audience's expressions.
      • It's even better with Franz in raptured happiness among the audience.
  • "I fell on my keys!"
  • The original film only has the wonderful "Love Power" number with Dick Shawn as a deranged hippie. "THAT'S OUR HITLER!"
  • The Keep It Gay number in the 2005 film deserves honorable mention. Especially with the appearances of a Hard Gay set designer, a Camp Gay costume designer, a well-hung choreographer (if you know what I mean) and a Butch Lesbian lighting designer.
  • The Siegfried Oath. And how.
    • Accompanied by Wagner in the background!
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 Franz Liebkind: [making Max and Leo take the Siegfried Oath] All right. First you will raise your right forefingers, und repeat after me.

(they do)

Franz Liebkind: I solemnly svear...

Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: (holding up their forefingers) I solemnly svear...

Franz Liebkind: To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...

Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: To obey ze Zacred Siegfried Oas...

Franz Liebkind: Und!

Max Bialystock: (switching to his Middle Finger) Und!

Leo Bloom: (switching to his Middle Finger) Und!

Franz Liebkind: (wagging his finger) Never, Never, Never!

Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: (flipping Franz off) Never, Never, Never!

Franz Liebkind: Dishoner ze spirit und ze memory of Adolph Elizabeth Hitler

Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: Dishonor the spirit und ze... Elizabeth?

Franz Liebkind: Jah. Dat vas his middle name. Not many people know zis, but der Fuhrer vas descended from a long line of English qveens.

[long pause]

Max Bialystock: Is that right?

Leo Bloom, Max Bialystock: (shrugging) Adolph ELIZABETH Hitler.

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 Old Lady: Give it to me... Oh, I've forgotten what you are. Well Hung. Sorry.

[laughter]

Nathan Lane: (deadpan) Please, start that rumor.

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    • The "back in the closet" bit where they get Gary Beach and Robert Bart to run back out and do it again... and again... and again...
    • And this:
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 BRODERICK: Give me those fat books, you fat walrus!

LANE: Bite me! (Matthew cracks up) Come on!

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 "Give it to me!"

"No!"

"Give it to me!"

"No!"

"Now that's what I call celebrating."

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  • "You made a fool of Hitler!" "He didn't need our help!"
  • From the musical: "Intermission!" Beat Beat Beat
  • He's having a stroke. OF GENIUS!
  • Returning from the disastrously successful first night of Springtime For Hitler:
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 Bialystock: (reading a telegram) "Congratulations. Hitler will run forever." (sighs)

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  • "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, that's not me! I'm a loser! I'm a coward! I'm a chicken, can't you see?! ... I can't do it! I can't do it! You see Rio, I see jail! I cannot, cannot, cannot, 'cause I know it's going to fail!"
  • "I VAS NEVER A MEMBER OF ZE NAZI PARTY!"
    • I only followed orders! I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on! We lived at the back, near Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yodel le he hoo! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo, Yodelay, Yodelay, Yodelay!
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