"My blanket! My blue blanket! Give me back my blue blanket! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"I'm hysterical!" *splash* "I'm wet! I'M WET! and I'm still hysterical and I'm WET!" *SMACK!* "I'm in pain. I'm in pain, I'm wet... AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL!"
The "Hysterical" scene is truly hilarious, but the 2005 remake earns extra points in this troper's book, simply because Max's 'comforting happyface' reminds me so much of the eyes-rolled-back-stupidly-grinning ':D' face commonly used 'round the web, and for adding the line:
Max: Who's my little accountant? Who's my little accountant? You are! Yes, you are! You're my little accountant!
And Max's "please, you're making me hysterical" face before that.
"You're gonna jump on me! You're gonna jump on me and squash me like a bug!!!"
The Genius Bonus of calling him "Prince Mishkin" makes it even better.
"I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it, that's not me! I'm a loser! I'm a coward! I'm a chicken, can't you see?! ... I can't do it! I can't do it! You see Rio, I see jail! I cannot, cannot, cannot, 'cause I know it's going to fail!"
"I VAS NEVER A MEMBER OF ZE NAZI PARTY!"
I only followed orders! I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on! We lived at the back, near Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yodel le he hoo! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo, Yodelay, Yodelay, Yodelay!