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On the Origin of PCs

The Order of the Stick

 "Kaboom" Redaxe: I knew I should've taken tha job at "Nodwick".

 Julia: I'm out of quarters! I mean, "spells"!

 Elan: Friends, Azurites, countrymen, lend me your ears. Not literally, because ewww. I mean, that would be disgusting.

And messy. And since you'd just be lending them, we'd have to figure out how to reattach them all, and that'd be a lot of work.

Today, we stand here on the wall, preparing to defend this city from the forces of evil. And probably chaos, too.

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. And sisters. Definitely also sisters, they are part of the band too. I think they play drums.

A day may come when the courage of men (and women) fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.

And if the battle lasts through tomorrow, it's not that day either.

It may or may not be the day after that, I'm not sure. Still too early to tell.

But in case it's not that day, or it is that day but the battle is already over so it doesn't matter, I want you to remember this:

No one ever won a war by dying for their country. They won by making the other guy die for his country. Which still applies even though hobgoblins don't live in countries.

They live in caves, I think. So make them die for their caves. Which, admittedly, sounds a lot less heroic than dying for your country.

But today will be the day when Azure City declared in one voice, "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!"

And the fact that it rhymes does not make it any less true!

We'll stand here together and tell our enemies that they may take our lives...

But they will never take our freedom!

 The Oracle: So yeah, I have as much chance of bringing back your leader as I do of scoring with Grendel's hot mom.

 Tarquin: ... That's a can of tomato soup.

Gannji: I know, I was just trying to keep the theme going.

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