Farm-Fresh balanceYMMVTransmit blueRadarWikEd fancyquotesQuotes • (Emoticon happyFunnyHeartHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3Awesome) • RefridgeratorFridgeGroupCharactersScript editFanfic RecsSkull0Nightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out iconShout OutMagnifierPlotGota iconoTear JerkerBug-silkHeadscratchersHelpTriviaWMGFilmRoll-smallRecapRainbowHo YayPhoto linkImage LinksNyan-Cat-OriginalMemesHaiku-wide-iconHaikuLaconic

  • Start of Darkness may be Darker and Edgier than the rest of the series, but the funny moments stand out because they're in line with the more serious parts. Such as Xykon after he beats Dorukan...

 Xykon: Ding dong, the wizard's dead! We'll have to be careful disabling his magical toys in the castle, but I think we can--

(Xykon comes upon the MitD, a sombrero on its box, a taco in hand/claw/whatever)

Xykon: (Wide-eyed) ...

MitD: Fiesta?

Xykon: Ooooookay.

 Elan: I GOT A FOUR!!!

 Redcloak: Um, OK, hello, sir, how are you today? This is lovely weather--

Xykon: Not me, you moron!

 Xykon: One for all and all for one, right?

Redcloak: I can't help but notice that your sense of team spirit is inversely proportional to your number of functioning appendages, sir.

Xykon: Cute. Did you actually grow a spine there, Redcloak?

Redcloak: Perhaps I just got hit with a piece of yours when you exploded, sir.

 Shadowdancer: Screw this! I'm not getting rubbed out by magic-wielding hookers!

"Kaboom" Redaxe: Must be some obscure prestige class...

 Sabine: I'll start near the Hentai bookstore and work my way out.

 Roy: Shojo has a gaze attack that causes encephalitis!

 Elan: Can anyone hear me?!

Thog: thog hears you.

Elan: Can anyone ELSE hear me?!

 "No-one asked you, Haley's Latent Bisexuality."

  • "While singing the complete score to 'Meet Me in St. Louis'." Okay, maybe just for the musical-theatre geeks. The best part? According to the limitations of the Charm Person spell, singing showtunes while killing people is something that's perfectly compatible with Belkar's nature.
  • Comic #386:
    • Thog in a leprechaun suit.
    • "NALE!!!!" "NALE!!!!" "nale!!!!" (His expression at the third is priceless.)

 Nale: Okay, the first two I should have seen coming. The leprechaun suit? Not so much.

  • Comic #387:
    • The penultimate "prison break", especially the last lines:

 Thog: thog wonders how thog will cope with life outside jailhouse walls. prison changed thog.

Elan: We were only in there for forty minutes.

Thog: prison changed thog quickly.

 Belkar: I sense a great disturbance... as if a thousand double entendres cried out, and were suddenly silenced...

 Wight 1: Did-did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple??

Wight 2: I think he did. Also, I think no one has ever asked that exact question in the history of civilization, so bonus points there.

  • "Hello? Mommy?"
  • The billboard for the town that was built by the orange kobold Oracle: "Lickmyorangeballshalfling".
    • The above, as well as everything out of the Oracle's mouth, becomes much funnier if, like me, you read him as having the voice of Gilbert Gottfried.
  • Elan is trying to have a secret meeting with Therkla, only to get interrupted by Qarr, and then by talking trees

 Kazumi: Oh yeah? Did you go through six months of hemorrhoids to get them? Turn around and I'll show you exactly what that feels like.

 Kazumi: Who cares how many people I have to kill? I can just make MORE in my TUMMY!

 Hinjo: ...what?

Durkon: Sit on me head.

 Gannji: Get your blue ass up.

Enor: But the elf said to sit on my hands.

Gannji: You don't have hands, you moron! You have claws!

Enor: Oh yeah.

Gannji: For the record, you'll also be safe if it tells you to sit on your brain.

 Tarquin: Since Roy's father is dead, I've decided to legally adopt him! Now you're for-real brothers!

Roy and Elan: Hooray!

Tarquin: Also you both get puppies."

 Empress: I am here! I am your ruler! Look at me! I am cool, but I am also very warm! Woooo!

Elan: She can FLY???

Tarquin: Quite the stumper, isn't it?

Vaarsuvius: I should avoid casting any spells tonight, if only to give the laws of physics time to cry alone in the corner.

Empress: If anyone needs me, I will be up here on my throne, being awesome!

 Tarquin: But the way these things go, you'll probably end up losing a hand or eye or something.

Elan: Oh, right. Like, a big burn on the side of my face, at the very least.

 Haley: You don't hear or see us.

1stGuard: Huh. Must be a trick of the light.

Haley: You actually don't work here anymore.

2ndGuard: Crap! How am I gonna pay my mortgage?!

Haley: You're actually a yellow-footed rock wallaby.

3rdGuard: Screw this guard stuff then, I'm gonna go find a wizard to polymorph me back.(hops off)

4thGuard: INTRUDERS!

Haley: Nope.

4thGuard: FALSE ALARM!

 Geoff: Make peace with your god.

Elan: I can't! He's in my pocket!

 Elan: Hold on, are we even sure we HAVE thumbs?!

  • Mr. Scruffy attempting to save his master... and suceeding.
  • Comic #787:
    • After a few comics building up the gladiatorial champion of the Empire of Blood, we finally get to see who it is. It's the Queen reference that really sells it.
    • And Roy's reaction is priceless. He goes from not wanting to even fight to this:

 Roy: Give me the sword. Then run.

  • And then the actual fight, next comic...

 Thog: thog says, "fudge the police!"

  • Comic #789:
    • Panel 1 of "Also, His Popularity Has Waned":

 Elan: Uh, Dad? Haley and I need to go... uh... have sex.

Tarquin: Well, you'll miss the big fight, but you do what you need to do.

Haley: Come on, V. And bring the cat, just in case.

Tarquin: ...Huh.

 V: I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is, "Sneak Attack, bitch."

V: I believe he just ceased his struggles against my mental commands to shoot you.

 Nale: Sure. You're the one who taught me that bards are underpowered.

Tarquin: They are! With their mastery of the narrative structure, they should be ruling the entire cosmos by now!

 Tarquin: ...Well?

Nale: I'm not saying, "Dunh dunh DUNH!" for you.

Tarquin: That is not how I raised you, young man!

  • Nale has created a new Linear Guild, but still needs a kobold...

 Chancellor Kilkil: ...Why are you all looking at me like that?

 Redcloak: By which I mean they'll mostly be decorating with your interiors.

  • Comic #832:
    • Another example of Black Comedy from our favorite goblin, there's his nonchalant admission to killing Tsukiko. What really sells it is how confused he looks at everyone else's shocked reactions.
    • That whole page is a good example of the classic Team Evil comedy we've come to love (especially the Demon-Roach comments in panels 4 and 8).

 Xykon: Hmmm, don't think this change of heart means I'm letting you grow your eye back.

Redcloak: It never crossed my mind.

Xykon: Good! I like you this way. It's like we have a grumpy pirate on the team.

Demon-Roach: And thus began the Legend of Arrrghcloak!

 Roy: So, let's see... divinations aren't working and flight is being blocked by the wind, which we can't fix in any way. do any of you have any magic that will actually HELP us find Girard at all?

(next panel)

Elan: (singing) Search, search, search, search the canyon for Girard's Gate!

  • Comic #838:
    • The conversation between Roy and Haley in the last three panels. Now, bear in mind the fact that this page's title is "Either Way, Really" while reading that.
    • There's also V and Durkon's list of the ways human senses are inferior to the other player races.
  • In Comic #840, the Order needs to search for traps, but Haley convinces Roy to make the Charmed Yukyuk do it.

 *ffft! ffft! ffft!*

Roy: That's a interesting technique. It's almost like he's--


Roy: --just walking up--


Roy: --the stairs.

  • The Order is trying to find Girard's gate, but the Draketooths are dead and unwilling to be resurrected. So they try to use Speak With Dead on one of the Draketooths to find out where the gate is. The problem is, the spell allows the use of Literal Genie for answers.

 Roy: Where in Windy canyon is Girard's gate?

Corpse: Around... the rift...

Roy: OK, then, where is Girard's rift?

Corpse: It lay... between... Girard's... buttcheeks.

Elan: The tragic loss to the field of ass comedy diminishes us all.

  • In response to the above, Roy has Haley 'check' that statue of Girard.

 Haley: I just want it on the record that I think you're taking this too literally.

Roy: Duly noted. Keep looking.

(Later, after they find Girard's crypt...)

Haley: You're going to make me search that skeleton's dry, crumbly assbone, aren't you?

Roy: Yep.

  • This exchange from the fight between the Order and Tarquin disguised as Thog:

 Durkon: Hold person!

(spell doesn't work)

Tarquin: Okay. (grabs Durkon by the beard and tosses him aside)

    • Also this moment:

 (Tarquin turns to Elan)

(Beat Panel)

Tarquin: Aren't you going to do any--

Elan: Try, try, try, try not to get too much in anyone's way!

(cue Roy and Belkar successfully tackling Tarquin)

Elan: Hooray! I did it!

  • Roy figures out that the Thog they're fighting isn't Thog and tries to take off the enemy's helmet; only to find a person wearing a mask with the word NOPE! printed on it.

 Tarquin: Totally worth wearing a mask under my helmet for two days.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.