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- The "well-oiled machine"-scene from the prequel On the Origin of PCs. Due to prepared actions, Belkar charges a Kobold, and misses; Haley's prepared action is to shoot the first thing that charges, so she shoots Belkar; Elan's prepared action is to flank attack the first wounded creature, and so attacks Belkar; and V's prepared action is to cast Lightning Bolt against the first four creatures lined up towards him or her...
- Start of Darkness may be Darker and Edgier than the rest of the series, but the funny moments stand out because they're in line with the more serious parts. Such as Xykon after he beats Dorukan...
Xykon: Ding dong, the wizard's dead! We'll have to be careful disabling his magical toys in the castle, but I think we can--
(Xykon comes upon the MitD, a sombrero on its box, a taco in hand/claw/whatever)
Xykon: (Wide-eyed) ...
- The Monster in the Darkness IS crowning moment incarnate. From his very first appearance, when he's at least trying to be the beast of untold horror Xykon wants him to be, he proves to be an endless source of comic gold. Gold such as...
- "Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff the stupid ogre!"
- An early example, but hilarious, Durkon's repeated use of "turn undead". Rule of Three is definitely in play as he keeps blinding Roy and V.
- "Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion!"
- "Elan's blade."
- Retroactive death is the funniest kind.
- How Xykon deals with employee complaints.
- "Totally worth it."
- "What would Thor do?"
- Redcloak's reaction to the Dwarf Porn.
- Move Silently check.
Elan: I GOT A FOUR!!!
- The appearance of Fruit Pie the Sorcerer made This Troper go "WTH!?"
- This whole page, but especially when Xykon ask Redcloak to cast Speak with Dead.
Redcloak: Um, OK, hello, sir, how are you today? This is lovely weather--
Xykon: Not me, you moron!
Xykon: One for all and all for one, right?
Redcloak: I can't help but notice that your sense of team spirit is inversely proportional to your number of functioning appendages, sir.
Xykon: Cute. Did you actually grow a spine there, Redcloak?
Redcloak: Perhaps I just got hit with a piece of yours when you exploded, sir.
- Redcloak becoming Supreme Leader of the hobgoblins.
- "Your horse, sir or madam.
- "My vengeance shall be prolonged, diminutive cretin."
- "Vomit. Now. ...And aim for the halfling."
- "Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one."
- "I think I just had an evilgasm."
- "Attack of Opportunity! Attack of Opportunity!"
- Roy is the King of Nowhere.
- "By the Twelve Gods and in the name of Lord Shojo, I demand to know: Who removed the tag from this mattress?!?"
- The entire sequence of events that follows Roy donning a Belt of Masculinity/Femininity, particularly Haley's digs in "Mean Girl", and the following "Growing Some". She doesn't let up until she comes down with stress-induced aphasia.
- WHORE ATTACK!
Shadowdancer: Screw this! I'm not getting rubbed out by magic-wielding hookers!
"Kaboom" Redaxe: Must be some obscure prestige class...
- Thog on rocket skates.
- Sabine's Deadpan Snarker reply to Nale's request to find somewhere where no-one would notice a bound and gagged schoolgirl.
Sabine: I'll start near the Hentai bookstore and work my way out.
- Luckily, Belkar's is a multipurpose lead sheet.
- After Haley is struck with aphasia, she communicates a vital plot point to Roy by charades. Roy does pretty well, until he fields this guess:
Roy: Shojo has a gaze attack that causes encephalitis!
- Two Words: Explosive Run-- *BOOM*
- Haley's rather effective method for solving the standard Knights and Knaves dilemma.
- Even better when it's revisited: The Test of the Memory.
- Comic #335:
- "Wild Empathy Check! WILD EMPATHY CHECK!!!"
- The names on Belkar's "Hate/Lust" list.
- Durkon grasps the core principles of V's theory.
- "Getting paid to kill things: Cornerstone of the world economy."
- Comic #367:
- Thog attempts to explain the situation to the jailer. After he gives that unbearably awesome homophones speech, he crowns it with "What is offal?" Just hair-pullingly brilliant. "Oh my god!" you say, pulling your hair. "That's brilliant!"
- The jailer refers to Thog as human offal at the start of that strip. Thog replies, "thog only HALF-human offal."
- At the end of that strip, as Elan is crying for help:
Elan: Can anyone hear me?!
Thog: thog hears you.
Elan: Can anyone ELSE hear me?!
- Miko and Redcloak fight. Redcloak manages to weaken Miko and asks Xykon to kill her. However, Xykon is quite busy betting 200 gp on the fight with the Demon-Roaches... and he bets on Miko. And the Monster in the Darkness has a popcorn bucket and a giant hand, supporting Redcloak.
- Lord Shojo's puppet show.
- Haley's mind splits into pieces.
"No-one asked you, Haley's Latent Bisexuality."
- "While singing the complete score to 'Meet Me in St. Louis'." Okay, maybe just for the musical-theatre geeks. The best part? According to the limitations of the Charm Person spell, singing showtunes while killing people is something that's perfectly compatible with Belkar's nature.
- Comic #386:
- Thog in a leprechaun suit.
- "NALE!!!!" "NALE!!!!" "nale!!!!" (His expression at the third is priceless.)
Nale: Okay, the first two I should have seen coming. The leprechaun suit? Not so much.
- Comic #387:
- The penultimate "prison break", especially the last lines:
Thog: thog wonders how thog will cope with life outside jailhouse walls. prison changed thog.
Elan: We were only in there for forty minutes.
Thog: prison changed thog quickly.
- The "Vaporising Flu" in the same comic; only contagious if you stand around in places where a previous victim has died and ask questions. Work that Bluff score, Elan.
- After they break out of jail, Elan and Thog are forced to work together. Noodle Implements, Final Fantasy, leprechaun suits and hilarity ensue. Trust us, it makes sense in context.... Okay, I wouldn't use the word "sense".
- Roy's reaction, after sleeping through an entire battle with the Linear Guild.
- "YAHTZEE!" I don't know why; maybe it's the timing, maybe it was just the culmination of the many, many Crowning Moments of Funny in the Archive Binge. But when I read that one word, it was just too much. I literally collapsed in laughter and was unable to get up for several minutes. It was that funny.
- "This is your junk." And then everything afterward.
Belkar: I sense a great disturbance... as if a thousand double entendres cried out, and were suddenly silenced...
- Belkar and the two devils on his shoulder; "the angel... doesn't work here anymore". Then the scene cuts to an angel in a straitjacket crying (paraphrased slightly): "[halflings are] supposed to be jolly, but he just kept stabbing them... WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY?!"
- The ultimate duel between clerics.
- Check it out, I totally conducted a job interview in the middle of a battle! -- Xykon
- The angelic review of Roy, culminating in a graph showing Belkar's evil, measured in kiloNazis (first recorded use of that).
- Followed by the ultimate Take That by Roy.
- "Evil adventuring party." "It happens. C'mon, I'll take you fishing." The most hilarious part is how blasé everyone is about killing an adventuring party in the living room.
- Most of Belkar's stuff on this page, but the wights in the second panel deserve a mention:
Wight 1: Did-did that halfling just hit me in the face with a pineapple??
Wight 2: I think he did. Also, I think no one has ever asked that exact question in the history of civilization, so bonus points there.
- The TRUE power in Azure City.
- "Yeah... kick that string's ass, Mr. Scruffy."
- "Supreme Leader, I have that lampshade you requested."
Redcloak: Just hang it anywhere.
- "Hello? Mommy?"
- The billboard for the town that was built by the orange kobold Oracle: "Lickmyorangeballshalfling".
- The above, as well as everything out of the Oracle's mouth, becomes much funnier if, like me, you read him as having the voice of Gilbert Gottfried.
- Elan is trying to have a secret meeting with Therkla, only to get interrupted by Qarr, and then by talking trees
- Kazumi Kato, in the middle of her psychotic pregnant rage, encounters a ninja who begs for his life, as he has children too. Her response?
Kazumi: Oh yeah? Did you go through six months of hemorrhoids to get them? Turn around and I'll show you exactly what that feels like.
- Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
Kazumi: Who cares how many people I have to kill? I can just make MORE in my TUMMY!
Durkon: Sit on me head.
- Elan finally grasps sarcasm.
- "My mouth feels like a cool mountain spring!" "My last breath... is also my mintiest...."
- "Let's not be hasty". Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
- In this strip, Vaarsuvius shows us his/her various takes on the classic Dungeons and Dragons "Bigby's Hand" spells, culminating in Bugsby's Expressive Single Digit.
- The choir of pedophiles.
- Haley acquires the necessary diamond to resurrect Roy by stealing it from the cast page. After that, the cast page is revised so that Haley is now holding a card saying "I.O.Me One big-ass diamond" instead.
- Haley dismisses Celia.
- "I'll nay let ye corrupt this fine town ye date-bearing bitch!"
- "Fine, but don't say I don't ever make sacrifices for the team." "You don't ever make sacrifices for the team." "...True."
- "Dancing Knights!"
- Comic #714:
- "Puns are for girls."
- From the same one:
Gannji: Get your blue ass up.
Enor: But the elf said to sit on my hands.
Gannji: You don't have hands, you moron! You have claws!
Enor: Oh yeah.
Gannji: For the record, you'll also be safe if it tells you to sit on your brain.
- "Heredity is a cruel mistress."
- Tarquin running for his life with a young Nale (drawing a raspberry) in tow.
- And now there're two, back-to-back: "Because I'm holding a THERMAL DETONATOR!" and I wonder what Nale inherited from his mother?
- Dinosaur rides are the perfect solution to any ethical quandary.
- "YOU DID!"
- Elan's Imagine Spot when he really wants Roy to meet his Dad.
Tarquin: Since Roy's father is dead, I've decided to legally adopt him! Now you're for-real brothers!
Roy and Elan: Hooray!
Tarquin: Also you both get puppies."
- "Caress, caress, caress, caress my lithe supple body!"
- The Empress of Blood flying despite an enormous round and bloated body, and disproportionately small wings.
Empress: I am here! I am your ruler! Look at me! I am cool, but I am also very warm! Woooo!
Elan: She can FLY???
Tarquin: Quite the stumper, isn't it?
Vaarsuvius: I should avoid casting any spells tonight, if only to give the laws of physics time to cry alone in the corner.
Empress: If anyone needs me, I will be up here on my throne, being awesome!
- There's a certain sadistic hilarity to Tarquin's irritation when his plan to impress Elan goes wrong. Said plan involved Elan's name being set up in gigantic flaming letters on the mountainside, which does impress Elan until Tarquin reveals that the letters are made of escaped slaves being burned at the stake. While Elan continues to stare in horror, Tarquin grumbles to himself, "Crap, the three prisoners at the bottom of the E burned out early. Now it looks like I just really like custard."
- Elan and Tarquin's duel is possibly the largest Hurricane of Puns in the series.
- The glorious hurricane of Genre Savvy, Dangerously Genre Savvy, and Shout-Outs in this strip.
- As it turns out, "preparation" is a virtue in the Empire of Blood's guard staff.
- Three words: Potion. Of. Glibness:
Haley: You don't hear or see us.
1stGuard: Huh. Must be a trick of the light.
Haley: You actually don't work here anymore.
2ndGuard: Crap! How am I gonna pay my mortgage?!
Haley: You're actually a yellow-footed rock wallaby.
3rdGuard: Screw this guard stuff then, I'm gonna go find a wizard to polymorph me back.(hops off)
4thGuard: FALSE ALARM!
Geoff: Make peace with your god.
Elan: I can't! He's in my pocket!
- Belkar Threatening to cut a goat's nipples off if it gives cows milk to Mr. Scruffy.
- Two gladiators and a guard getting eaten by an Allosaurus.
Elan: Hold on, are we even sure we HAVE thumbs?!
- Mr. Scruffy attempting to save his master... and suceeding.
- Comic #787:
- After a few comics building up the gladiatorial champion of the Empire of Blood, we finally get to see who it is. It's the Queen reference that really sells it.
- And Roy's reaction is priceless. He goes from not wanting to even fight to this:
Roy: Give me the sword. Then run.
- And then the actual fight, next comic...
Thog: thog says, "fudge the police!"
- Comic #789:
- Panel 1 of "Also, His Popularity Has Waned":
Elan: Uh, Dad? Haley and I need to go... uh... have sex.
Tarquin: Well, you'll miss the big fight, but you do what you need to do.
Haley: Come on, V. And bring the cat, just in case.
- Elan effectively weaponizes his Contractual Genre Blindness. Elan expresses surprise that Nale is alive. Nale points out that a villain "dying" off-panel means they're certain to come back. Elan replies that of course he knows that, but the trope requires the hero to believe the villain is dead for it to work:
Nale: I'm giving myself a migraine trying to understand the amount of willful ignorance that requires!
Elan: First blood: ELAN!
- Two for Vaarsuvius in the same strip:
V: I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is, "Sneak Attack, bitch."
V: I believe he just ceased his struggles against my mental commands to shoot you.
- Elan: "Wow, this whole "identical twin" thing has never worked out in my favor before!" Look closely at the next-to-last panel: He's handing her a sword. Go Elan!
- Comic #806:
- Durkon, noticing Elan being dropped a considerable height by Sabine, prepares to cast "Cleric's Feather Fall", more commonly known as "Heal".
- Not to mention how he can't cast a spell because his god and his helpers can't make out his accent.
- Three ingredients: One Dangerously Genre Savvy dictator, one egotistical, invisible idiot, and a Ring of True Seeing, and you have the recipe for a pointed "Gotcha" glare and a massive and hilarious Oh Crap.
- And two strips later, Nale complaining that his dad's Genre Savvy didn't work in regards to Elan:
Nale: Sure. You're the one who taught me that bards are underpowered.
Tarquin: They are! With their mastery of the narrative structure, they should be ruling the entire cosmos by now!
- At the end of Raiders of the Lost Plot Arc, Tarquin makes a dramatic statement.
Nale: I'm not saying, "Dunh dunh DUNH!" for you.
Tarquin: That is not how I raised you, young man!
- Nale has created a new Linear Guild, but still needs a kobold...
Chancellor Kilkil: ...Why are you all looking at me like that?
- In an example of Black Comedy, Redcloak hires some "interior decorators" for the resistance base:
Redcloak: By which I mean they'll mostly be decorating with your interiors.
- Comic #832:
- Another example of Black Comedy from our favorite goblin, there's his nonchalant admission to killing Tsukiko. What really sells it is how confused he looks at everyone else's shocked reactions.
- That whole page is a good example of the classic Team Evil comedy we've come to love (especially the Demon-Roach comments in panels 4 and 8).
Xykon: Hmmm, don't think this change of heart means I'm letting you grow your eye back.
Redcloak: It never crossed my mind.
Xykon: Good! I like you this way. It's like we have a grumpy pirate on the team.
Demon-Roach: And thus began the Legend of Arrrghcloak!
- Belkar's revenge on Yukyuk for hurting Mr. Scruffy. Also the fact that V and Belkar seem to be totally in sync with each other for it.
- The Order makes it to the Windy Canyon!
Roy: So, let's see... divinations aren't working and flight is being blocked by the wind, which we can't fix in any way. do any of you have any magic that will actually HELP us find Girard at all?
Elan: (singing) Search, search, search, search the canyon for Girard's Gate!
- Comic #838:
- The conversation between Roy and Haley in the last three panels. Now, bear in mind the fact that this page's title is "Either Way, Really" while reading that.
- There's also V and Durkon's list of the ways human senses are inferior to the other player races.
- In Comic #840, the Order needs to search for traps, but Haley convinces Roy to make the Charmed Yukyuk do it.
*ffft! ffft! ffft!*
Roy: That's a interesting technique. It's almost like he's--
Roy: --just walking up--
Roy: --the stairs.
- The Order is trying to find Girard's gate, but the Draketooths are dead and unwilling to be resurrected. So they try to use Speak With Dead on one of the Draketooths to find out where the gate is. The problem is, the spell allows the use of Literal Genie for answers.
Roy: Where in Windy canyon is Girard's gate?
Corpse: Around... the rift...
Roy: OK, then, where is Girard's rift?
Corpse: It lay... between... Girard's... buttcheeks.
Elan: The tragic loss to the field of ass comedy diminishes us all.
- See the Wild Mass Guessing page for a potential meaning of this joke.
- In response to the above, Roy has Haley 'check' that statue of Girard.
Haley: I just want it on the record that I think you're taking this too literally.
Roy: Duly noted. Keep looking.
(Later, after they find Girard's crypt...)
Haley: You're going to make me search that skeleton's dry, crumbly assbone, aren't you?
- This exchange from the fight between the Order and Tarquin disguised as Thog:
Durkon: Hold person!
(spell doesn't work)
Tarquin: Okay. (grabs Durkon by the beard and tosses him aside)
- Also this moment:
(Tarquin turns to Elan)
Tarquin: Aren't you going to do any--
Elan: Try, try, try, try not to get too much in anyone's way!
(cue Roy and Belkar successfully tackling Tarquin)
Elan: Hooray! I did it!
- Roy figures out that the Thog they're fighting isn't Thog and tries to take off the enemy's helmet; only to find a person wearing a mask with the word NOPE! printed on it.
Tarquin: Totally worth wearing a mask under my helmet for two days.