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** I was expecting something mild. '''''Mother of God.''''' |
** I was expecting something mild. '''''Mother of God.''''' |
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* "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rule,222/ God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule]", in particular the closing paragraph: |
* "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rule,222/ God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule]", in particular the closing paragraph: |
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+ | {{quote|"Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept."}} |
** This one was written in response to the September 11 attacks, making it even more poignant. |
** This one was written in response to the September 11 attacks, making it even more poignant. |
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* Combined with [[You Have Outlived Your Usefulness]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-mommy-a-lot-prettier,1512/ New Mommy A Lot Prettier]" |
* Combined with [[You Have Outlived Your Usefulness]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-mommy-a-lot-prettier,1512/ New Mommy A Lot Prettier]" |
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** Kelly's cartoon that day was surprisingly poignant too. He usually employs some measure of [[You Can Panic Now]], but this one was just his [[Author Avatar]] with a [[Single Tear]] asking [http://www.theonion.com/articles/september-12-2011,21333/ "When is it okay to laugh again"?] |
** Kelly's cartoon that day was surprisingly poignant too. He usually employs some measure of [[You Can Panic Now]], but this one was just his [[Author Avatar]] with a [[Single Tear]] asking [http://www.theonion.com/articles/september-12-2011,21333/ "When is it okay to laugh again"?] |
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* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-knowing-what-else-to-do-woman-bakes-americanfl,221/ "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake,"] also written in response to 9/11. |
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-knowing-what-else-to-do-woman-bakes-americanfl,221/ "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake,"] also written in response to 9/11. |
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| − | {{quote| |
+ | {{quote|"I baked a cake," said Pearson, shrugging her shoulders and forcing a smile as she unveiled the dessert in the Overstreet household later that evening. "I made it into a flag." |
| − | Pearson and the Overstreets stared at the cake in silence for nearly a minute, until Cassie hugged Pearson. |
+ | Pearson and the Overstreets stared at the cake in silence for nearly a minute, until Cassie hugged Pearson. |
"It's beautiful," Cassie said. "The cake is beautiful." }} |
"It's beautiful," Cassie said. "The cake is beautiful." }} |
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* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ "Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients."] |
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-hearing-loved-ones-voice-induces-excru,27035/ "Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients."] |
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* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/nra-sets-1000-killed-in-school-shooting-as-amount,28352/ "NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything."] |
* [http://www.theonion.com/articles/nra-sets-1000-killed-in-school-shooting-as-amount,28352/ "NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything."] |
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[[Category:Web Original/Tear Jerker]] |
[[Category:Web Original/Tear Jerker]] |
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[[Category:Other Sites/Tear Jerker]] |
[[Category:Other Sites/Tear Jerker]] |
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| − | [[Category:The Onion]] |
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Latest revision as of 05:43, 20 September 2020
 YMMV •  Radar •  Quotes • ( Funny •  Heartwarming •  Awesome) •  Fridge •  Characters •  Fanfic Recs •  Nightmare Fuel •  Shout Out •  Plot •  Tear Jerker •  Headscratchers •  Trivia • WMG •  Recap •  Ho Yay •  Image Links •  Memes •  Haiku • Laconic •  Source • Setting
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- "Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box". Don't click that. Really.
- I was expecting something mild. Mother of God.
- "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule", in particular the closing paragraph:
 |
"Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept." |
 |
- This one was written in response to the September 11 attacks, making it even more poignant.
- Combined with You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: "New Mommy A Lot Prettier"
- For animal lovers: Last of 2008 Christmas Puppies Euthanized, Marking Start of Spring
- US Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government. If only that was real...
- Kelly's cartoon that day was surprisingly poignant too. He usually employs some measure of You Can Panic Now, but this one was just his Author Avatar with a Single Tear asking "When is it okay to laugh again"?
- "Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake," also written in response to 9/11.
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"I baked a cake," said Pearson, shrugging her shoulders and forcing a smile as she unveiled the dessert in the Overstreet household later that evening. "I made it into a flag." |
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- "Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients."
- "Son, It's Time We Have A Talk About Where Babies Go."
- "Best Part Of Gay 12-Year-Old’s Day Half Hour Spent Eating Lunch Alone On Staircase."
- "NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything."
- Back to The Onion