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The Matrix

  • This scene:

 Neo walks through a metal detector and it goes off.

Guard: Sir, would you please remove any metallic items you are carrying... keys, loose change...

Neo opens his trenchcoat to reveal enough guns to kill a small city.

Guard Holy Shit!

  • "Morpheus is fighting Neo!" *everyone rushes out of the room*
  • Neo's conversation with Smith after being arrested.

 Neo: That sounds like a good deal. But I've got a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call?

  • After Neo finally defeats Smith, the two remaining Agents look at each other and, by wordless agreement, execute a simultaneous Screw This, I'm Outta Here.

The Matrix Reloaded

 The Merovingian: I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

    • If you don't know French, plugging his French phrase into Google Translate and discovering what he's actually saying is... enlightening.

  Damn damn fucking shit fucking assholes to motherfucker.

The Matrix Revolutions

  • The Merovingian's response to Trinity, Morpheus, and Seraph breaking into his club and making their way across the floor in a three-way Back-to-Back Badasses formation, pointing their guns at everyone.

 Merovingian: What in ze hell?

  • The end of the exchange between the Oracle and the Architect at the end of the film.

 The Oracle: Do I have your word?

The Architect: What do you think I am? Human?


  • This Parody for the MTV Movie Awards.
    • You do NOT want to see me get out of this chair! Now you open your yapper one more time and I will architect a world of pain all OVER your candy ass! Ergo! Vis-a-vis!
    • The duo is teleported to Zion.
      • And then...

 Andy Dick: "Morpheus! What can we expect at this orgy?"

Morpheus: "MACHINES!"

Justin: "Dude, I'm out."

Sean: "I dunno, sounds kinda kinky-- ow! Ow!"

    • The Oracle gets recast yet again.

 Neo: "I see Trinity. And then something happens. Something bad. She begins to fall...and then I wake up."

Wanda Sykes: "Now that's fucked up."

      • And she is direct.

 Wanda Sykes: "C'mon, man, show him your moves."

Justin: " I have to?"

Wanda Sykes: "I'm the Oracle, dammit."

 Will Ferrell: "Is there an echo in here?"

Echo: "Is there an echo in here?"

    • "There are two doors. The door on the left leads sissy-boy here back to his bitch. Yeah, uh huh, what up, G? You can't handle it."
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