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The Hound and The Blacksmith is a Fate/stay night fic written by Elf, the Mistress of Porn. It stars Archer, Lancer, and Ayako as they live their lives after the fifth Holy Grail War. It follows Archer’s romantic problems, Lancer’s courtship of Ayako, and the eventual partnership between Archer and Lancer.

The Hound and the Blacksmith can be found on Beast’s Lair and on here.

Tropes used in The Hound and The Blacksmith include:
  • Almighty Janitor: Lancer, Cu Chulainn, the Hound of Ulster, Ireland’s Son of Light, works at a supermarket.
    • To an extent, Archer fits this as Tohsaka’s 'creepy butler.'
  • Affably Evil: Gilgamesh. Evil is debatable though.
  • Anti-Hero: One of the few things Lancer and Archer have in common.
  • Asshole Victim: Shinji.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Sakura saves Ayako when she is being attacked by Dead!Shinji.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Lancer’s solution to an enemy his lance thrusts backfired on is to hit it harder.
  • Boy Meets Girl: Or rather, "Girl meets resurrected Celtic demigod."
  • Buddy Cop Show: The premise of the story. Elf even admits that the story was inspired by 80’s buddy cop films like Lethal Weapon.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: Which is how Archer manages to wind up joining Gilgamesh in singing Bohemian Rhapsody (quite terribly off key) in the back of a limo.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Averted. Archer manages to tell Rin he wants to go with her when it’s already too late.
  • Catch Phrase: Archer's got one.

"Stupid low luck rating."

  • Chekhov's Gag: Gilgamesh once jokes that, since everything is made pure again when it's reborn, Archer is technically a virgin. Guess what the vampires are looking for.
  • Cunning Like a Fox: Ayako all the way. Outsmarts an enemy that had Lancer on the ropes.
  • Deadpan Snarker: We got this all around the cast.
  • Depraved Bisexual: "Flirting" for Gilgamesh involves very ethically dubious activities.

Gilgamesh was going to approach Rin to work for him, Rin, unknowing who he was exactly, was going to take the offer. Archer cut her off and it ended in combat. Or rather, bound in divine chains with Gilgamesh laughing in his ear as something poked him that he really didn’t want to think about.


Lancer: Go on, pretty vixen. Take a lick at me.
Ayako: Okay, that just sounded wrong.
Lancer: You were the one who twisted my words, Ayako. Now if you want to take a lick at me I'd be more than happy to return the favor.
Ayako: God you're really perverted, you know that?
Lancer: I come by it honestly, but if it'll make you feel more at ease go ahead and give me a good hard blow.
Ayako: Ack! God you’re still doing it.
Lancer: Give me a good beating?
Ayako: No!


Lancer: I'll believe anything you tell me, but out in the open's not the place to go baring yourself.
Ayako: You’re doing it again, Lancer!


Ayako wasn’t seeing Happily Ever After in their future, but she was seeing Happily Now.


Archer: "That's rather fucked up."

  • Intergenerational Friendship: Archer and Lancer, after a fashion. They both come from two different time periods. They’re not friends yet, but the premise of the story all but guarantees they will be.
  • Kiss of the Vampire: Rider to Ayako. Ayako does not look back on it fondly.
  • Knight in Sour Armor: Archer.
  • Ladykiller in Love: Lancer's biggest hurdle in his relationship with Ayako is proving that he's really not just a hopeless pervert trying to get in her pants. This is not helped by the fact that his quite various sexual exploits (most damningly, the ones he had while married) are conveniently available on Wikipedia for anyone's reading pleasure.

Lancer: Next person who says, “I know what kind of person you are, I’ve read your story,” to me is going to get my fist in their face.


Not like I'm going to get attacked by another vampire or anything.

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