Farm-Fresh balance.pngYMMVTransmit blue.pngRadarWikEd fancyquotes.pngQuotes • (Emoticon happy.pngFunnyHeart.pngHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3.pngAwesome) • Refridgerator.pngFridgeGroup.pngCharactersScript edit.pngFanfic RecsSkull0.pngNightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out icon.pngShout OutMagnifier.pngPlotGota icono.pngTear JerkerBug-silk.pngHeadscratchersHelp.pngTriviaWMGFilmRoll-small.pngRecapRainbow.pngHo YayPhoto link.pngImage LinksNyan-Cat-Original.pngMemesHaiku-wide-icon.pngHaikuLaconicLibrary science symbol .svg SourceSetting
  • "It's an orange gun!"
  • The Chinese translator beating up a guy while asking for help from the hitman (who doesn't speak English).
  • "Let's get real. The money's gone. I'm a loan shark. I loaned it shark-style."
  • Dan doesn't believe in blood cells. Yes, really.
  • "I have enough to worry about! I got strip clubs. I got champagne rooms and free buffets in an economy where clients are cutting back and they're sleeping with their wives again! THEIR WIVES!!"
  • "The Law is like a woman. Sure she'll slap you but getting mad won't do you any good. It'll just make things worse. A little sweet talk and before you know it, you're covered in baby oil with whipped cream on your nipples".
  • "Remember that time Sasha killed that trucker then put on his hat? He was all "Look at me, I am man who is dead!"
  • Liz dressed as a hooker turning the heads of everyone at the station. Then she drops her purse and struggles to pick it up.
  • The sketch of "Murderin' Jane" dressed in a nurse's uniform.
  • Dan recreating the scene of Ruiz being a victim of a peeping Tom.
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 "You stepped out of the shower, dripping wet. (dabs himself with a towel and flips his imaginary hair) Pat, pat, pat. You saunter into the bedroom, your skin still glistening. The air is cool, your skin feels alive, the goosekin is coming. I have a question though, where was the towel? Was it like headlights or did he get a look at what's under the hood?"

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  • The scene where Dan Stark, unfamiliar with how a taser works, accidentally tasers a suspect. Then, in trying to explain what happened, takes Jack's taser to demonstrate, and accidentally tases Jack. He yells "Somebody stop me!" as the opening theme starts.
  • "I take pride in my willingness to lubricate myself in the cause of justice!"
  • Liz and Zoe the hooker's verbal spats.
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 Zoe: I'm a prostitute, not some off the rack slut.

Liz: Well, excuse me for dressing like a professional and not a "professional".

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  • Stark whining about US Marshal Marino leaving after they sleep together.
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 "After a night of spectacular lovemaking, she lit off before I awoke in the morn, leaving me only with this sock. I sniffed all of her out of it." (later we see him singing "I'm All Out of Love")

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