Farm-Fresh balance.pngYMMVTransmit blue.pngRadarWikEd fancyquotes.pngQuotes • (Emoticon happy.pngFunnyHeart.pngHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3.pngAwesome) • Refridgerator.pngFridgeGroup.pngCharactersScript edit.pngFanfic RecsSkull0.pngNightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out icon.pngShout OutMagnifier.pngPlotGota icono.pngTear JerkerBug-silk.pngHeadscratchersHelp.pngTriviaWMGFilmRoll-small.pngRecapRainbow.pngHo YayPhoto link.pngImage LinksNyan-Cat-Original.pngMemesHaiku-wide-icon.pngHaikuLaconicLibrary science symbol .svg SourceSetting
  • From the very first short:
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 Cosmo: (deep voice) I'm Cosmo!

Wanda: And I'm Wanda!

Both: And we're... Your fairy godparents!

Wanda: Whaddaya think, Timmy?

Timmy: (Beat) I think I'm calling the cops.

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  • Everything in "Transparents", from it being a character-establishing episode for Crocker, right down to the white, angelic Galactus Expy suit he gets in his world domination fantasy.
  • This exchange from "Father Time":
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 Present Wanda: I think lava lamps are stupid.

1970's Wanda: Oh, yeah? Like, what do you do for fun?

(Cuts to an image of a lava lamp on a computer, 1970's and Present Cosmo and Wanda are in front of it)

Wanda: ...And you can download different lava!

Young Billy Gates (Driving by): Hey! That gives me an idea! I'll connect every computer in the world to one another! I'll call it..."The Internet!"

Present Cosmo: That's a stupid name! You should call it "The Timmy"!

Billy: Duhhh... Okay! (drives off)

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 Sea Monster Emergency Response Team general: "We are not a waste of money! Now prove it, and waste him!"

Pan over to show two guys shoveling dollar bills into a fire.

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  • In "Mother Nature", Dad decides that since Mom is now working as a weather person, he has to be be both "Mom and Dad". Unfortunately, his idea of being two parents is using a puppet that looks like Mom. A puppet he has arguments with, to which Timmy says, "No amount of therapy will ever make this moment ok."
    • Also, everyone's reactions to Timmy's mom in a fireman outfit:
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 Dad: Heyyy!

Mom Puppet: HEY!

Timmy: (Passes out)

Cosmo & Wanda: Hey!

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  • MONKEYFEET!
  • Francis: (punches Timmy's medallion) Ow! My hand! (tries again) Ow! My OTHER hand! (headbutts) Ow! My head! Ow! My spleen!
  • In "That Old Black Magic", Dad, after telling Timmy not to step on cracks, swears to go back home only when each and every crack of Adrenaland is repaired. When he sees a worker with an exposed gluteal cleft, he starts chasing him while holding a bucket for cement and a trower.
  • "Internet! Breakfast is ready!"
  • After Timmy wished for the world to be full of superheroes, his antagonizers become supervillains. Francis becomes an anthropomorphic bull called the "Bull-e" with a big "E" on his chest.
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 Timmy: What's the "E" stand for??

Bull-e: It's the second letter in "death", and the third letter in "die"!!

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  • From Abra-Catastrophe: "When this is over, I'm wishing for a world without puns."
    • Made funnier with Cosmo and Wanda's commentary track, where they say the same thing.
  • "I thought you said 'Plastic surgery'!" as said by Cosmo, complete with breasts, during a rapid-fire series of clips provided by Cosmo's mother to discredit her son's relationship and godchild assignment.
    • Also, Cosmo: "I'm keeping them" (referring to the gag boobs)
  • The horrible bike that Timmy's dad made for him, complete with a bag of manure for a seat.
  • Timmy's Mom *bawling* "EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIEEEES!"
    • *Timmy and his dad both take a step back*
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  Timmy's Dad: "Hey Dinkleburg! Don't you want to give my wife a congratulatory hand-touch?"

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  • In the Halloween Episode, we have this exchange:
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 Timmy's Dad: I'm going as your mom! *pulls down a mask of Timmy's Mom's face*

Timmy's Mom: I'm going as your dad! *pulls down a mask of Timmy's Dad's face*

Timmy: I'm going straight to therapy.

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  • I have goats...IN MY PANTS!
  • Oh my gosh! It's GAH! The Norwegian Supermodel!
  • After Timmy regrets wishing for the "worst possible non-lethal thing to happen to Chip Skylark," which turns out to be being Bound and Gagged by Vicky.
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 Timmy: I'm really sorry about this, Chip.

Chip: Oh, that's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.

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  • Hyperactive Crocker.
    • F,F,F,F,F,F,F,F,F,A For AJ,F!!!!
    • "And now, I think I'll run a marathon! But first: FAIRYGODPARENTS!FAIRYGODPARENTS!FAIRYGODPARENTS!"
    • In the same episode, they turn "I'm off to run a marathon." into a sort of running gag... literally!
  • Crocker's reaction upon seeing Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and Jorgen in the second part of the Wishology special is downright hilarious. He spazzes for 15 seconds before growing exhausted and panting heavily.
  • "Pants are for squares!" "Studying is for squares!" "Electric bills are for squares... like pants!" "Hygene is for squares!"
  • The entire episode Bad Heir Day is one big Crowning Moment of Funny after another. Though, the icing on the cake has got to be when Crocker teaches Denzel Jr. DJ Poof how to drive.
    • "That was perfect! Tomorrow, we'll try parallel parking."
    • "FLY MR. STORK! BRING ME A CHILD! * Crash!* Oh, sorry, I guess I should've opened a window first.."
    • Crocker teaching Poof how to shave. "And that's how real men shave, in the dark, with a sharp razor!"
    • Poof and Crocker playing Football Oblong Ball. Crocker can barely throw the ball ten inches. Poof throws it and....sends both the ball and Crocker flying several yards.
    • Crocker's list of things he actually wants for his birthday-"Number 1, to make them pay! Number 2, to show them all! Number three...a Jet Ski!"
    • Also, this exchange at the beginning of the episode-
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 Crocker's Mother: Make a wish, Denzel.

Crocker: (Deadpan) I wish I could get out of this highchair.

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  • "SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!"
    • "Sir, we didn't really need to scramble the fairies."
      • "I LIKE TO SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!"
        • "Sir, we usually just poof to Earth. You didn't have to destroy the bridge."
          • "I LIKE TO DESTROY THE BRIDGE!"
  • Just... this:
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 Wanda: (panicked) Cosmo! Timmy's parents found Poof!

Cosmo (also panicked) Oh no! Those people have no idea how to raise a child! (notices Timmy glaring) No offense, Timmy.

Timmy: (deadpan) None taken...

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  • "Hi, I'm Timmy, and I--cheated on my math test."
  • Crocker's excuse for impaling Principle Waxelplax on the rear with a fork. "It's cupid's fork...of love...I LOVE YOU!!!"
    • "This is so sudden. And...unwanted."
  • "I'll trick them into sitting in this electric chair. If they survive, they're FAIRIES! If not, I HAVE TENURE!"
  • "What flammable-" *BEEP* "PUDDING!"
  • "Worst plan ever."
  • The entire sequence during Abra-Catastrophe when Crocker disguises his van as an ice-cream truck. Complete with Pop Goes The Weasel playing in the background and Crocker laughing maniacally.
    • Made even funnier when Crocker then turns the van ice-cream truck into a spinach truck to scare children away. "AHHH...SPINACH!!" And, then cue a whole bunch of sailors. "AHOY! SPINACH!"
  • This scene from the episode "Knighty Knight". Towards the end, Timmy gives King Arthur (who appears here as a short, almost blind boy) a pair of glasses.
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 Arthur: everything's so clear! I...I can breathe! I CAN FIGHT! (rips off his shirt and turns into a ridiculously tall, muscular guy).

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  • From Timmy The Barbarian-"Mt. Fluffy Bunny! Wait, that's not very scary. Mt. Disco! No, wait...Mt. PAIN!"
    • Also, Jorgen Von Strangle skipping over all the more cheerful parts of the story much to Timmy's annoyance.
    • "And then Cosmo...tripped on a bug!"
    • "Wanda! Nag! NAG LIKE YOU'VE NEVER NAGGED BEFORE!"
    • The entire episode, really.
  • This hilarious exchange-
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 Cosmo: Hi Timmy, look, I'm a lawyer! *Poof* Now I'm a fireman, WHEEEEE! Now, I'm just a simple fairy/lawyer/fireman, but Jorgon misses the point, there are many redeaming qualities to Timmy. Isn't it true that you also wished for new shoes, sunglasses, butlers and shiny teeth?

Timmy: Yes.

Cosmo: Wow, what a selfish punk! The defense rests.

Wanda: That was your laser targeted defense?

Cosmo: I'm a fireman, not a laser technician. *Poof* Now I'm a laser technician!

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    • And then after Timmy's punishment is announced:
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 Cosmo: *Poof* Don't look at me. I'm just a coal miner.

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  • "The good news is I named my nickel Phillip!" "What's the bad news? "It's a GIRL nickel!"
  • When Timmy finds out that Crocker used to have fairies himself as a kid (who turn out to be Cosmo and Wanda), and he does one of Crocker's "FAIRY GODPARENTS!" spasms upon realization.
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 Timmy: If I do that again, hit me.

(Cosmo produces an oar)

Timmy: Not now!

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    • Also, "Must...Resist...Stupidity impulse." *Poofs a Jack-in-a-box in front of him* "Not...resisting well!"
  • Timmy has run away from home and joined a carnival
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 Wanda: You can't stay a carny forever, Timmy.

Cosmo: Yeah, you don't have the experience! You've never even been to prison!

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  • In the episode where Timmy wishes every day was Christmas, causing the other holiday mascots (all male) to get ticked off at him. In one scene, they rush to attack Timmy but stop short when they come underneath some mistletoe. They all immediately start shaking hands and saying things like, "You're a nice person/I like you as a friend" before resuming the chase.
  • From The Musical:
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  Cosmo: There's still enough fun left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! Wow, there wasn't a manly word in that sentence.

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  • In "Inspection Detection", when Cosmo and Wanda are distracting Jorgen:
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 Jorgen: Your puny slideshow does not amuse me!

Cosmo: Well, uh, we could just sit here cowering in fear of you?

Jorgen: Oooh! I'll get my camera!

  • Cut later to another slideshow*

Cosmo: And this is us cowering in fear 2 minutes ago! And this is us cowering in fear 30 seconds ago! And this is us-

Jorgen: (Destroys slideshow) ENOUGH!

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  • The one that gets me every time is this exchange:
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 Cosmo: Let's play the not studying game!

Timmy: How do you play?

Cosmo: (Pushes books away from Timmy's desk) You're already playing it!

Both: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

  • they go off to play video games while Wanda looks like -_-*
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    • And later on:
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 Timmy: Chapter one... I'm done! Let's play the not study game!

Cosmo: *clears books off table with a bulldozer*

Both: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

  • they go off to play video games while Wanda looks like -_-*
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  • The running gag from the time when Timmy wished he had no emotions. People would do increasingly terrible, funny, bizarre, or cruel things to him, then ask the same thing:
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 Several People: How does that make you feel?

Emotionless Timmy: It doesn't.

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 Timmy: (poofs in front of a midget vampire) Fairy World?

Midget Vampire: Scary World.

Timmy: You're not that scary.

Midget Vampire: Oh yeah? Well here's a photo of your grandma's feet! (holds of photo of a pair of unnecessarily detailed gross feet)

Timmy: AAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS!!!!

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  • In Something's Fishy, Timmy finds out that his Wet Willie gear is useless underwater.
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 Timmy: Hollywood lied to me!

Cosmo: Hollywood lied? Curse you, movie critic Gene Shalit!

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    • And later, when they find Atlantis...
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 Cosmo: Thank you, movie critic Gene Shalit!

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  • Timmy has been getting so strong after a wish he's hurting people so Cosmo gives us this little gem.
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 Timmy: (to fairies) HELP! I'm huge, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood!

Cosmo: Just like the I.R.S!

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  • Just...Just, this.
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 Jensen: Upon seeing the army of Ape Warriors Sir, this isn't in my contract.

Timmy: Don't worry Jensen, this battle will only take 2 minutes.

*Cut to all of them in a torture chamber*

Wanda: You were close; the battle took 1 minute 40 seconds.

Timmy: (To Jensen who is hanging right next to them) See Jensen, have I ever lied to you?

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  • The episode where the Turners moved to a "Stepford Wives"-esque community had the bit where all the zombified people (plus Cosmo and Wanda) tried to get Timmy to get drink the brainwashing milk... then Crocker pops up, saying in the same deadpanned zombie voice "Fairies, faries..." For some reason, that make this troper laugh.
  • The episode where Timmy's mom turns their house into a bed and breakfast because Timmy's dad quit his job to become the sock monkey king. The guests are Crocker, Dark Laser, and Tootie, who are all trying to detroy Timmy, capture his fairies, or kiss him. At one point he ends up in his parent's bed room and tells them that the guests are after him. Their responses:
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 Timmy's Dad: Do they want to buy my sock monkeys?

Timmy's Mom: Do they want to stay an extra night and give me even more moolah?

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    • There's a bit where Timmy pushes a button on Dark Laser's chest turning his body into an inflatable raft. When Dark Laser tells his henchmen to chase Timmy they pull out paddles and begin dragging him across the floor.
    • Later on there's the Scooby Doo chase scene which ends with a parody of Scooby and Shaggy being chased by the Headless Horseman.
    • Tootie's response to Dark Laser saying she's too young for lipstick:
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 "Don't push my buttons and I won't push yours, bub."

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    • Crocker trying to escape in a jet only to crash it into the driveway across the street from Timmy's house.
  • From the storybook All Washed Up!:
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 Wanda: There are four basic elements: earth, air, fire, and--

Cosmo: JELLY BEANS!

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  • Mom and Dad give Timmy a vial of acid to play with so they could watch their show staring a Crocodile Dundee parody who hunts bad parents.
    • Timmy after melting the mailbox: "It's fun and destructive....it's FUNSTRUCTIVE!"
  • Basically the entirety of Channel Chasers
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 Wanda: (referring to the violence in the Tom and Jerry parody) Wow, you don't see cartoon violence like that anymore.

(later)

Cosmo: Wow, that's violent, too. Didn't they have censors back then?

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    • And made even funnier by the fact that, each time, Wanda or Cosmo's head was blocking the violent scene. So no, Cosmo - no, we don't see violence like that on TV anymore.
    • That part when they go into a parody of Speed Racer. If you watched the anime, you'll laugh a lot once those over the top explosions and facial close-ups with Oh Crap expressions kick-in.
  • Deep Toot. I'm still laughing just thinking about that one.
  • Jorgen's attempts to hit Timmy with Cupid's arrows in the movie.
    • Timmy wishing for Chompy the Goat to eat Magnate's pants.
    • Crocker's mother interrupting his phone call to Magnate.
    • "Timmy Turner! This is the last birthday party you and your fairies will ever have together! By the way, happy birthday."
    • Cosmo's Suspiciously Specific Denial when he and Wanda disguise themselves as waiters:
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 Cosmo: Good evening, everyone. We're your perfectly normal not-magic-fairy human waiters with unbelievably super-hairy legs and underarms!

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  • While "Lights Out" might have had its scary moments, it also had some pretty funny moments too, made even better by the fact that the viewer couldn't see what was happening on-screen...
    • And the only thing that we really could see was their eyes.
  • "Mr. President, you just nearly caused a nuclear war! What are you going to do next?" "I'm going to Escalator Land!"
  • The entirety of "Food Fight".
  • In "Crocker Shocker" when Timmy needs the last of his fairies' magic to teleport to earth, Wanda squeezes out the remaining magic in Cosmo's body by putting him through a wringer, then putting him on a clothesline and beating him with a tennis racket.
  • In one episode, Timmy is in class when something goes wrong and makes a wish that he can get out of class 'inconspicuously.' Cosmo poofs a pair of rockets onto his desk and Timmy shoots out through the ceiling, getting everyone's attention.
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  Wanda: (To Cosmo while Timmy is flying through the air and screaming) IT MEANS 'WITHOUT BEING NOTICED!!'

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    • After that Crocker notices the burn marks on the floor and assumes Timmy exploded, saying "Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!".
  • Timmy wishes for his parents to have superpowers, so they can get their work done without getting worn out. Mom and Dad soon realize they have powers, but decide to keep them a secret from Timmy based on a reading a comic book. One moment later...
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 Timmy: Morning, guys.

Dad: WHAT SUPER POWERS?!

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  • "Balance of Flour." This line said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice: "More. Good! MOOORRRREEEE!"
  • In "Abracatastrophe", a Running Gag is Wanda getting brown stuff thrown in her face by Biffy, a monkey.
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  Wanda: PLEASE be mud...

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  • From "Fairy Idol", after Chester wishes for the penguins to be warmer, the earth basically enters the sun.
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 The sun: HEY! A little space?!

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    • Then, at the very end, when Chester wishes everything back to normal, the earth moves farther away from the sun.
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 The sun: ...Was it something I said?

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  • "Pipe Down." Any character screaming and then exploding. Funniest example is Timmy's dad. Timmy breaks some important stuff, Timmy's dad screams angrily, but no sound comes out, because Timmy wished for silence. Timmy's dad tries again and Timmy puts a hand to his ear as if to say, "I can't hear you!" Timmy's dad screams again with his hair igniting and his face turning purple, before he explodes.
  • Timmy's Twitchy Eye when Timmy's mom showed him that her old bikini still fit.
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