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All I desired was to walk upon such an earth that had no maps.—the English Patient
A 1992 novel by Canadian author Michael Ondaatje. The book opens in an abandoned villa in World War Two Italy, where Hana, a Canadian army nurse, cares for a man referred to as the English Patient. He refuses to reveal his identity, but his speech and mannerisms indicate that he's an Englishman (his status as a patient is considerably less ambiguous, given that he's being treated for critical burns all over his body). Hana and the Patient are joined by David Caravaggio, a Canadian thief who knew Hana before the war, and who worked as an Allied spy until he was captured and maimed; and Kip, an Indian Sikh who's one of the best sappers in the British army. The story sprawls out non-linearly, digging into each character's backstory, with running themes of nationality, nationalism, and the Power of Love.
Made into a 1996 movie directed by Anthony Minghella. It cast Juliette Binoche as Hana, Ralph Fiennes as the "English Patient" , Willem Dafoe as Caravaggio, and Naveen Andrews as Kip. The film was a box office hit, earning $231,976,425 in the worldwide market. It has earned the distinguished pop-culture status of being "That movie Elaine bitched about in that one episode of Seinfeld." Both versions won a bunch of awards, most prominently the 1997 Oscar for Best Picture.
Provides examples of
- A Father to His Men: Lord Suffolk. Especially for Kip.
- Anachronic Order
- Battleaxe Nurse: In Caravaggio's interrogation scene.
- Bedouin Rescue Service: How the Patient survives the plane crash. Not that one, the second one.
- Booby Traps: The villa is full of bombs and mines left by retreating Axis forces.
- Cultured Warrior: Lord Suffolk.
- Cut Himself Shaving: The Patient's excuses for the scars Katharine gives him.
- Dead Little Sister: Hana's father and Lord Suffolk.
- During the War
- Fake Nationality: In the movie, Juliet Binoche (French) plays Hana (French-Canadian); Willem Dafoe (US American) plays Caravaggio (Canadian); and Naveen Andrews (English) plays Kip (Indian). Ralph Fiennes, who plays the title character, actually is English. His character isn't.
- Geeky Turn On: The Patient realizes he's attracted to Katharine when she reads aloud from Herodotus. Of course, the story she chose to read was rather apropos...
- Heroic BSOD: Kip, towards the end, when he learns about the bombing of Hiroshima. Hana and Kip have slightly toned-down versions in their backstories as well.
- Hey, It's That Guy!: The Green Goblin and Sayid meet in a villa where a nurse cares for Lord Voldemort.
- Historical Domain Character: The Cliftons, Almasy.
- Ho Yay: The Patient's description of the young Bedouin boy; more subtly, his relationship with Geoffrey Clifton.
- If I Can't Have You: Geoffrey Clifton takes this to an extreme.
- Important Haircut: Hana cuts off her hair shortly after she starts work as an army nurse.
- Love Makes You Crazy: Well, everybody involved in the Patient's affair with Katharine was already a little crazy, but their romance pushed things over the edge.
- Love Triangle: The Patient's affair with Katharine Clifton. Either a Type 7, as labeled on the Triang Relations page, or a Type 8.
- Malevolent Architecture: The Villa, in a justified example; the retreating Nazis booby trapped every place they could.
- Murder The Hypotenuse And The Legs: Geoffrey Clifton's solution to the love triangle: attempt to take out the Patient, kamikaze-style, with Katharine aboard the plane.
- Named After Somebody Famous: In-story; "David Caravaggio" is implied to be a pseudonym, which he lampshades, mentioning Caravaggio's painting David with the Head of Goliath.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Most of the characters, in one way or another, especially Hana and Kip.
- Slipknot Ponytail: Done with Kip's topknot.
- The Film of the Book
- The Power of Love: One of the recurring themes is the ability of love to transcend national boundaries in wartime. The result isn't always pretty.
- Villain Protagonist: The Patient, arguably, once we learn that his rejection of national ties led him to help German spies across the desert. Not to mention the unrepentant wrecking of the Cliftons' marriage (though some people would agree with his behavior there).
- Where Are They Now? Epilogue: A very brief one showing that Kip is now a doctor, married with children in India; he still thinks of Hana.
- Wire Dilemma: Part and parcel of Kip's work as a sapper; most prominently when defusing the bomb in the villa courtyard.
- World War Two