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Exactly What It Says on the Tin. William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet rewritten as a comedy, the first in a series of retooled Shakespeare plays by Shrikecatcher.

Can be read here


 "Alas, my liege," Montague wept. "My wife is dead tonight."

Nearby, someone on the drums made a Rimshot and cymbal crash.

 "Who are you supposed to be?" [the security guard] asked Mercutio. "Donald Duck?"

"Of course not, good fellow," Mercutio laughed. "I don't want to be sued."

"Walt is inside, he'll be the judge of that." He opened the front door for Mercutio, and through it we all saw the partygoers going at it at the party.

"Uh-oh," Mercutio said, which wasn't as incriminating as it sounded.

  Now That's What I Call Foreshadowing! Featuring music by Eiffel 65, BBMak, and Macy Gray! Wait, what do you mean it's not 2000 anymore?

  Really, you can go up to your friends right now and call them all "whoresons," and no harm will be done. [2]

  By the way, grammar Nazis, there's a double negative mocking you ruthlessly at the beginning of this paragraph.

  We were par-taying at the par-tay, almost to the point of adding a second hyphen, when we bumped into a drunk Master Capulet.

 Paris (reacting to Juliet's apparent death): "What do we do with her body?"

Spice Girls: "Slam her body down and wind it all around!"

Capulet: "Are they licensed medical practitioners?"


  1. Look, a footnote!
  2. Do not do this.
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