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Relating to the Broadway Musical[]

Oh Jesus Christ (of Latter Day Saints), where do we start?

  • HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS!
  • When Elders Price and Cunningham are waiting for their plane, an African sunset backdrop suddenly falls while a woman dressed in a Lion-King style costume leaps out and sings an Expy of the opening vocals to The Circle of Life. The curtain then drops to reveal it was just a surprise to send the boys off to Africa
  • "Hasa Diga Eebowai"--both the reveal that it means "Fuck you God!" and the Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion when Hatimbi introduces his daughter.
  • From "Hasa Diga Eebowai":
Cquote1

 Elder Price: You have to stop saying that!

Elder Cunningham: Hasa diga--

Price: No! It means something bad!

Cunningham: What?

Price: They are saying "F you!" to the Heavenly Father.

Cunningham: "F you, Heavenly Father?!?!" Holy Moley! I said it like 13 times!

Cquote2
  • From "All American Prophet", in the middle of the song...
Cquote1

 Elder Price: Even though people wanted to see the golden plates, Joseph never showed em....

Villager:(in a deep, operatic voice) I haveeeee maggots in my scrotemmmm!

Elder Price: Uh, okay (continues on)

Cquote2
    • Joseph Smith and the Mormons boogying it up in the background while Elder Price sings also qualifies
  • Man Up, hilarious as it is just on the recording, is 10000x funnier on stage when Arnold, in his quest to man up, stabs a monster in the face and defeats Vader while declaring he is not his father.
    • From the same song: "Heavenly Father, why do you let bad things happen? More to the point, why do you let bad things happen to me?"
  • Elder Cunningham's version of the Book of Mormon (with all the fantasy and sci-fi references). Especially at the end, when it's used to threaten General Butt Fucking Naked.
Cquote1

 Gotswana: This is all very interesting, but women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!

Arnold: No, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will!

Gotswana: How do you know? Christ never nothin' about no clitoris!

Arnold:...YES! YES HE DIIID!

Cquote2
  • "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream"
    • "I can't believe Jesus called me a dick!"
    • "Jesus hates you, this we know. For Jesus just told you so."
    • The SMHD costumes alone are hysterical, from Halloween-style devil outfits with plastic pitchforks to maple doughnut hats to demons wearing giant coffee cups (who torture Kevin by force-feeding him coffee) to sparkly black top hats and waistcoats.
    • Elder Mc Kinley randomly showing up, swanning around in a sparkly turtleneck and feather boa before giving a demon a blowjob.
    • The transition into "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream", particularly for fans of Inception
Cquote1

 Elder Price: Wow! I'm in Orlando! It's weird, cause I don't even remember how I got here...

Cquote2
    • When the elders then discuss the Spooky Mormon Hell Dream:
Cquote1

  Elder Mc Kinley: We've all had the spooky Mormon hell dream. Heck, I have it every night!

Cquote2
  • I have maggots in my SCROOOOOOTUUUUUUUUM!!!!
  • "I Believe" is a funny enough song as is. The fact that Elder Price is practically prancing up to a maniacal warlord and grabbing his hand, however, makes it priceless - the only reason that the General's men aren't shooting him is because they're too confused by what's going on.
Cquote1

 General: ...The fuck is this?

Cquote2
    • "I believe... that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people!" followed by the choir echoing "black people!".
  • Elder Price, after having the Book of Mormon shoved up his ass, gets completely wasted...on coffee.
Cquote1

 Elder Price: Well, if it isn't Elder Cunningham! The super-mormon!

Cquote2
    • This is followed up by his monologue on why he became such a devout Mormon. He hoped that when he died, he'd get his own PLANET ORLANDO!
  • It's hard to describe "Joseph Smith American Moses", but... "Joseph Smith, magical AIDS frog! Brigham Young, frog on his clit face!"
    • "Compassion! Courtesy! Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!"
    • The costumes and choreography.
    • Also, the summation at the end of the song: "Joseph Smith, AIDS frog; Brigham Young, clit face; Shit come out the butt; Jesus says 'fuck, fuck,' Mormons!"
  • The ending with the Ugandan Elders. "Hello, my name is Elder Matumbo..."
Cquote1

  "Hello, my name is Elder Butt Fucking Naked."

Cquote2
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