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File:Hell3 7253.jpg

Welcome To Hell. Enjoy your stay of EVERLASTING SUFFERING!


  • The Book of Revelation deserves its own entry. What it contains includes, but is not limited to: demonic locusts with scorpion stingers, an army of 200 million horsemen that wipes out a third of mankind, seas turning to blood, creatures covered with eyes, and a star falling on the rivers of the earth making the water poisonous. Jesus is described as a lamb that has a slit throat and multiple eyes.
    • Don't forget the horrifying image of the moon being covered with blood.
      • If it helps, it could just be a reference to a lunar eclipse, which makes the moon appear blood red. Since the moon turning blood red is another account of the moon not giving its light, and this prophecy is placed in proximity with the sun being darkened, it's reasonable to figure that eclipses will be among the signs that herald the Second Coming.
    • Let's especially not forget that Satan's form during this time will be a dragon large enough to sweep one third of the stars from the sky with a flick of his tail.
    • Then there's Satan himself. Imagine: an incredibly evil being who hates everybody and everything and wants nothing but to see you suffer and he appears... As the most beautiful of all angels, so wonderful-looking you couldn't not worship him if you saw him.
      • He's basically the founder of Nightmare Fuel; it exists because of him.
      • And why does he hate everybody? He simply stand can't anything that reminds him of God, or His creations. All his animosity is derived from nothing but spite and pride.
  • God could sentence you to death in a heartbeat purely to get some other fellow to make up his mind. Are you the oldest child by any chance?
  • The death of Jezebel also deserves a special mention for sheer graphic description and squickiness. First, thrown out a window, then run over by a chariot, and then eaten by dogs. Yikes. (This is, however, a Karmic Death. Jezebel was responsible for the introduction of that particular wave of Baal worship into Israel. Although there are a few quibbles about whether they are the same, Baal was sometimes called Molech, and a part of the worship of Molech may have involved the sacrifice of children by burning them alive.)
    • There is much controversy over who or what Moloch was, with only a handful of references in the Bible and no archaeological evidence otherwise.
  • The Flood, anyone? Once you get past all of the animals that Noah saved, EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING ON EARTH died. All of the animals that weren't in the ark drowned. Everyone that Noah knew (save his immediate family) drowned. After they got off the ark, they were ENTIRELY ALONE IN THE WORLD.
    • A Shel Silverstein poem explains that the unicorns were too busy playing to get on the ark[1] and they all drowned. There's rats and cats and elephants, but as sure as you're born, you're never gonna see no unicorn.
      • If it makes you feel any better, there are stories where the unicorns became narwhals instead of drowning.
      • Another possibility is that Noah did take a couple of unicorns on board. He just Failed a Spot Check and didn't realize that they were both male.
  • The Wolverton Bible - Famous Mad magazine illustrator faithfully recreates scenes from The Old Testament. Wolverton paid great care to the scenes from Revelations. Pleasant dreams.
  • Let us not get started on what the angels look like.
  • Come on, we've got to mention the classic I-was-scarred-by-CCD example: Abraham being told to sacrifice Isaac. NOT COOL, GOD!
  • Acts 11:7. "And I heard a voice saying unto me, Arise, Peter; slay and eat." Imagine it being said in the G-Man's voice.
  • Genesis 4, the first murder:
Cquote1

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground."

Cquote2
  • For many people, The Bible is the ultimate Nightmare Fuel. Remember, when you read all this scary stuff in horror books, you can always comfort yourself by saying that it all isn't true. However if you are a Christian and you commit acts like, let's say, premarital sex, then you can't really comfort yourself this way — you have every reason to believe that a lot of scary things will happen to YOU. Sure, you can redeem yourself at some point, but what if you get hit by a truck tomorrow? Also, many atheists probably sometimes have thoughts like "what if I'm not right and God really exists? Will I go to hell for not believing in him?". This troper is an agnostic that has been raised around religious people and never strongly rejected religion as pure gibberish, so he often has such thoughts and finds them almost unbearably creepy.
    • Some atheists think that you could say the same for all the thousands of religions in the world and that chances are you are worshipping the wrong god. Along with this, some would say that if not believing in god was enough to be sent to hell then that god would be too malevolent to be something you would want to worship.
  • God himself. Hollywood Atheists say, "How can we believe in something we can't see?". Anyone who's read the Bible will tell you that purely looking upon God in our current mortal state is essentially an instant death spell. That's actually a bit comforting, in retrospect, that we can't see God, cause otherwise we'd constantly be blowing up.
  • Ezekiel 4:12. It's about baking bread using human excrements as fuel to the fire. That's all I have to say. Om nom nom.
    • Actually, cattle dung is a pretty handy fuel. More like Squick than HONF.
  • The AntiChrist. Now, as a Christian, I realize that ANYBODY can be anti-Christian, and the Anti Christ in The Revelation is more-or-less The Beast. However, the Anti Christ is just plain scary. Watching the Anti Christ discussion on the History Channel, they point out that people throughout history have been called the Son of the Devil. Nero, Napoleon... even Hitler! Given the fact that (although YMMV on Napoleon) those previous guys were all pretty frickin' awful, just imagine how horrible the true blue SOTD will be.
  • Hell. In these days it's usually Flanderized into a caricature with pitchfork-wielding horned demons, but a number of horrifying interpretations have been extracted from the Bible's brief and cryptic description[2]. You're conscious, but as an immobile, rotting corpse, blind and helpless in the empty darkness of a void deeper than space. You can't hear anything; you can't see anything. You're all alone. All you can do is cry weakly from hunger, thirst, pain, and loneliness. Worms burrow through your flesh; you can sense them chewing at your bones, gnawing them down incrementally. And of course, all the while your blind eyes and nostrils are burning with fire and sulphuric acid. And it goes on FOREVER.
    • Unless you're the ultimate example of Too Kinky to Torture. Then it's paradise.
      • Nope, Jesus said even they wouldn't be able to handle it.
    • The thing that is truly terrifying about Hell is that the demons will torment you physically and verbally; you'll be reminded of your sins and that you had time to repent in your life but didn't. And no matter what you do you can't get out.
  • The Beast of Revelation, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
  • The death of the firstborns in Exodus. All these Egyptian children are completely innocent for the plight of the Jewish slaves, yet they are all killed by the angel of death (which deserves a mention itself).
      • Note that the way God hardened the Pharaoh's heart (so he wouldn't free the slaves) is a point of contention: many scholars believe it should be translated as "The Thought of God hardened his heart". Still scary.
    • The plagues are all nightmare fuel. River of blood? Swarms of insects? Hail fire? Gazillions of flies filling the air. Brrr.
      • On the bright side, the fire would have got rid of the flies.
  • According to Revelations, Satan does not rule Hell but one day he will be imprisoned there forever and ever. Right now, he is here on Earth... walking amongst us.
    • Every religion (see Folklore/Urban Myths) has this in one way or the other, though some "dark gods" can be quite sympathetic. Hindus have Kali and Shiva, gods of death and destruction. Greco-Roman people have Cronos, who ate his own sons, and Hades, lord of the underworld and death. Mayans and Aztecs have the whole "human sacrifice" thing. Africans have Anansi the Spider.

Back to The Bible
  1. sotto voce: idiots
  2. ("outer darkness" where the people are, "lake of fire..." "...for the devil and his angels")
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