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Our hero. He has the skills of a doctor and the soul of a healer, but he won't hesitate to get violent with anyone who deserves it. Made of a subtle sprinkling of Insanity over a base of Awesome.
- Awesome McCoolname
- Bunny Ears Lawyer: Doctor McNinja is a vigilante, has no qualms about killing bad guys, and his office suffers gunfire and explosions frequently. But he's also a dedicated doctor, and can cure almost any normal or supernatural disease.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: He casually lifts up and and throws a vending machine in the first issue. It only gets more epic after that.
- He can punch ghosts by humming the Ghostbusters theme.
- Combat Medic: Though, more often than not, Judy has to patch him up. At least once the dichotomy between healing and killing is brought up.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"
- Genre Savvy: Jumping away from explosions is always better than taking cover. A lone ninja is stronger than thirty ninjas.
- Outside of Action genres, however, he has a tendancy to overlook the obvious.
- Hero Insurance: Instantly pardoned and forgiven for any broken laws, provided he gets home to his office and says "Base!" before the cops get to him.
- Inner Monologue: Often. Doc has been known to argue with his inner voice.
- McNinja: Trope Namer. He's Irish, and a ninja.
- No Name Given: We know he has one, but he never uses it. A wizard may be involved, which may or may not have anything to do with his being bound to a book in Axe Cop.
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist: One of the few justified examples in that he was cloned multiple times in order to attain multiple doctorates. Then, all clones but one were re-merged, resulting in the doc we all know and love.
"I'm a doctor. I know science."
- He's also a talented actor, impersonating McLuchador well enough to have fooled everyone. The narrow area Doc doesn't have expertise is Agronomy / Botany, as Old McNinja never merged with him again.
- Science Hero: While his usual method of solving problems is to punch or stab them, he makes use of his "doctorin'" skills to come up with cures for Paul Bunyan's Disease, ghost possession, and Franz Rayner's ninja drug.
- Super Strength: It's a family trait.
The effing badass kid: Doc's ward and protege. His father was a circus performer with a incredible finishing routine -- until it went wrong.
- A Boy And His Velociraptor named Yoshi
- Badass Mustache: Grew it with sheer force of will.
- Bilingual Bonus: His name means "Little Fattie" in Spanish.
- Kind of essential to understanding the joke in this comic.
- Future Badass: Not that he's not badass in the present, but in the future he's an even more badass resistance leader.
- The Gunslinger: Provides the page image.
- Kid Sidekick: The Doc wants to think of him as Robin to his Batman, save for the fact that Gordito is not a Cheerful Child.
- Only Sane Man
- Young Gun
Judy the Gorilla
Doc's receptionist and occasional muscle. Don't ask why she stays with Doc -- we don't know either.
- Everything's Better with Monkeys
- Kindhearted Cat Lover: Judy later gets a cat(though the Doc decides to name him "Ice Cream Cake")
- Shout-Out: to Koko, a female gorilla who can use sign language and likes cats.
Yoshi the Raptor
A wild velociraptor formerly owned by a gang of Mexican paleontologist banditos (don't ask); currently Gordito's mount and pet. Not too smart but makes up for it with teeth.
- A Boy and His X
- Future Badass: Holy crap.
- Kick the Dog: Well, Eat The Kitten. It survived.
- Raptor Attack
- You No Take Candle: The future dinosaur invaders tried to uplift living dinosaurs on Earth. It worked mostly, but their grasp of language is limited.
Doc's dad. Defeated Frans Rayner to become head of the American guild of ninjas in the 80's. His moustache gives him instant respect and authority, which is why he cut a hole in his ninja mask so it would always be on display.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents
- Badass Grandpa: Possibly. If the good doctor is supposed to be in his 30s then Dan is probably in his late 50s.
- Badass Mustache: When it was revealed by his mask getting torn in a fight, he instantly became leader of the Ninja Guild.
- Boisterous Bruiser
- Bunny Ears Lawyer: Like his son. Believes that setting yourself on fire to avoid capture is so effective it overrides the obvious drawbacks.
- "Ninjas can't catch you if you are on fire
- Papa Wolf: His response to a pirate claiming to have kidnapped his son is...pretty violent.
- Screw Yourself: Apparently a believer in this.
Doc's mom. Known for her two specialties: pickled beets and precisely aimed demolitions.
- Action Mom
- Lethal Chef: An odd example, in that she purposely makes her food poisonous in order to train others. Then again, it seems that her beets really are atrocious even when they haven't been poisoned - her family chokes them down anyway out of either fear or respect.
- Mama Bear: She will do anything to protect her children, including killing them.
Sean "Dark Smoke Puncher" McNinja
Doc's younger brother. Torn between his parents' desire for him to be a good ninja, his own geeky tendencies, and his longing for popularity, resulting in a use of over-the-top "hip" slang. This is actually a facade which covers his devilishly inventive mind. Wearing a ninja mask.
- Badass Bookworm or Genius Bruiser: Being a ninja who can build robots has got to make you one of these.
- Gadgeteer Genius: For instance: he's capable of designing a missile from scratch and hacking into NASA's mission control to launch it given less than a day's notice.
- Legacy Character: In the Bad Future, he calls himself Dr. McNinja, after his brother.
- Obfuscating Stupidity
- Took a Level In Badass: In "Futures Trading".
- Future Badass: We don't know the extent yet, but he's apparently badass enough to make the dinosaur army come running to fight him.
- Totally Radical
The first villain to be introduced in the comic, guilty of defaming Dr. McNinja's name in a new burger promotion. Appears later in "There is a Raptor in my Office".
- Burger Fool
- Captain Ersatz: Originally was Ronald McDonald, but his name was quietly changed to Donald McBonald years later.
- Enemy Mime: Displays the ability to cause the things he mimes to exist in his second appearance.
- Enemy Mine: Forced to work with the doctor to apprehend Jetpack Man in order to preserve profit.
- Mecha-Mooks: Robots fight for him because everyone else has too much dignity to work at McBonald's.
- Monster Clown: His appearance years later in color only cements this
- Retcon: Was originally Ronald McDonald, but Hastings changed it to pre-emptively avoid a lawsuit.
Became the bitter enemy to the McNinja family after Dan humiliated him. Did a series of action films in which he carved a swath through ninjakind with the aid of copious amounts of The Law of Conservation of Ninjitsu
- The Ahnold
- Awesome but Impractical: His laser eye. Since it has no power supply of its own, it drains his physical energy when he fires it.
- Back From the Dead
- Badass Beard: His neckbeard, while normally the total opposite of this trope, is able to block hits.
- Big Bad: In the D.A.R.E. story arc and in the Army of One arc.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: He is so well trained that he can rearrange his body's weak points.
- Critical Research Failure: He plans to become president by killing the president. When Gordito tells him that's not how it works, he answers that by that point he'll be so popular nobody will care.
- Dangerously Genre Savvy: Invokes the Conservation of Ninjutsu against the McNinja Clones. More accurately, he made an army of McNinja clones specifically so that he could invoke it.
- Eye Beams: It uses his own body's calorie reserve as an energy source though, so using it once renders him incapable of fighting.
- Gratuitous English
Genetically constructed "Uber-ninja" who assists Frans Rayner. Kind of dumb. Wields chainsaw nunchucks in his first appearance.
- Actual Pacifist: Refuses to kill in his second appearance, due to the death of a small child he became friends with.
- Chainsaw Good
- Dumb Muscle: Capable of carrying two grown men in one hand, but has the mind of a toddler.
- The Juggernaut
- Psychopathic Manchild: Rayner calls him off by offering him Happy Meal toys.
Extremely short neurogenetipharmocologist in the employ of Frans Rayner. Developed the ninja drug responsible for the events of the DARE arc and .
- Depraved Dwarf
- Evil Laughter
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Based on a series of recurring nightmares Kent the inker experienced and in his tenure, he refused to ink any page with him in it, which had Hastings do it instead. It is poor.
The real thing. His immortality has enabled him to master every technology and amass the world's greatest minds and talents in his secret moon base, but he is getting bored.
- Actually a Doombot
- Art Shift: One strip he appears in is animated, appearing to be a normal comic until suddenly he descends from the ceiling. Since this is the only time such a thing has been done, it's unexpected and pretty effective.
- Big Bad: Of Punch Dracula.
- The Cavalry: In "Futures Trading".
- Classical Movie Vampire
- Genre Savvy: Fighting in a hall of mirrors is a great asset when one has no reflection.
- Genre Blind: Somehow did not realize that if there's a fight in a hall of mirrors, if his opponent sees him, it's really him.
- Evil Plan: He wants to know what exists on the other side and does evil things to find out.
- Public Domain Character: Lampshaded in the Alt Text.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: It's not that he doesn't, he's just done so much awesome stuff that now he's bored and getting curious about what might lie on the other side of death.
- Xanatos Gambit: A variation on the traditional trope in that he's curious about what happens after death, but not willing to die yet himself, so he plans to kill and blackmail (in that order) the only person he believes is capable of actually dying, finding out what happens, and coming BACK to tell him, the good Doctor. If it works, wonderful; goal achieved. If it doesn't, no big loss. There are plenty of others like him and he won't have to find him because they'll come to him.
The most radical man in the radical land. Conducts amoral dealings to improve Cumberland and make it more radical. Antagonizes Doc for fun.
- Ambiguously Evil: He's almost certainly up to something, and he's done some pretty questionable things like blowing up Doc's office for refusing to treat one of his henchmen and murdering a version of Chuck Goodrich, but he's also a largely benevolent force, using his mafia to genuinely improve the quality of life in Cumberland.
- Badass Beard
- Berserk Button: Thanks to Sparklelord, he hates rainbows.
- Don't confuse him for the Burger King. On the other hand, this prompted a rather nifty costume upgrade, complete with full-length purple cloak and sash.
- Big Bad: Of several arcs.
- Catch Phrase: "Radical."
- Quip to Black: Well, the closest you can get in comics medium, when he grins and comments "...Radical".
- Totally Radical: In name only - he's perfectly articulate otherwise.
- Troll: Best shown when he mockingly reminds Doc about how his defeat of Sparklelord is a Pyrrhic Victory.
- Villain with Good Publicity: His evilness is questionable, as seen above, but he is at the very least a mob boss. Nonetheless, everyone in town seems to love him.
Evil unicorn who led a revolution of the radical land in an attempt to depose King Radical. Took the form of a motorbike with rainbow decals in the regular world.
- Arch Enemy: King Radical.
- Cool Bike
- Master of Illusion
- Real Men Wear Pink: His natural form in our world is a badass motorcycle that just happens to have a rainbow design on it.
- Stable Time Loop: The doctor throws him into a time portal that leads back to where he was discovered.
Old college friend of Dr. McNinja who was once a teammate of his on a crime-fighting superhero team. Now he owns a chain of grocery stores.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: It's shown that one of the motivators for him hulking out to save Doc and Gordito was because those two were one of the few people who treated him well.
- Dumb Muscle: Literally. His intelligence is inversely proportional to how hulked-out he is at the time.
- Expy: Of the Incredible Hulk
- Freudian Excuse: His powers make him dumb.
- Gag Penis: When hulked-out. The sight of it brought McNinja to his knees sobbing like a kid.
- Hanlon's Razor: The moral of Martin's character arc.
- Lamarck Was Right: He inherited his powers from his father, who got them while experimenting on himself.
- Magic Pants: Averted hilariously.
- Power Incontinence: He ends up getting stuck halfway between his normal form and monster form, requiring a trip to Dr. McNinja.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: His father is very unhappy about Martin's decision to use his powers to shill a grocery store chain.
The doctor's ex-girlfriend from college. Now works as a mercenary of some sort.
- Dark Action Girl
- Foe Yay: With Doc
- Heroes Want Redheads
- Wild Card: We still don't know whose side she's on.
Mayor of Cumberland, elected for his plans to stop zombies destroying the world.
- Chosen One: Chuck Goodrich is from the future. He came back in time to avert disaster, and succeeded. Except averting the current disaster always leads to a new future disaster in the new timeline, and a new future Chuck Goodrich comes back to avert the new disaster. Chuck-Prime is growing rather tired of it.
- Heroic Sacrifice: One Chuck sacrifices himself to the Horrorsaurus in order to get the NASAGhast to attack it.
- Reasonable Authority Figure
- Temporal Paradox
- The Slow Path
- Why Did It Have To Be Zombies?
Ben Franklin II
A clone of Benjamin Franklin and Dr. McNinja's college professor. Helping him not become a headless horseman is the focus of the Punch Dracula arc.
- Back From the Dead: TWICE.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Tends to speak this way when in a sour mood.
- The Call Knows Where You Live
- Losing Your Head
- Public Domain Character
A mentally unstable doctor wearing a luchador mask. His primary means of healing his patients involves extreme methods, i.e. shoving the cure up their nose and then body-slamming them. Ran out of Cumberland by Dr. McNinja.
- Bunny Ears Lawyer: His methods of healing are over-the-top and insane, but they work.
- Dead All Along: He died in anonymity years ago.
- Deadly Doctor: He a doctor and a luchador. This comes with the territory.
- The Extremist Was Right
- Masked Luchador
- No Kill Like Overkill: One dose of a ulta-deadly poison should cure you. But let's use two, just to make sure.
- The Rival: to Dr. McNinja
- The Reveal: He IS Dr. McNinja