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"It's a difficult decision. [pause] ...all right. It's Friday and the sun is shining. You won't go to prison."
A British Judge, handing down a sentence.

Robber: "I want money or I will 'effing shoot you."

[no one in the shop co-operates and the robber flees]

Customer: [in regards to the would-be robber's weapon] "I think what this guy has got is actually a banana."
Reported in The Times and The Guardian. The Robber was caught after a sniffer dog found the banana nearby.
These English are a strange people. They came here in the morning, looked at the wall, walked over it, killed all the garrison, and returned to breakfast. What can withstand them?
—Quoted from Maratha chieftain allied to Wellington during his campaigns in India. From Highlander by Tim Newark.
If you are going to kill me then do so. Otherwise I have considerable work to do.
Lennier, Babylon 5
How are ya supposed to know what you British are feeling? What? Y'all wear mood rings?
Fran Fine, The Nanny
Their grief? If you imagine I'm going to drop everything and come down to London before I attend to my grandchildren who've just lost their mother...then you're mistaken. I doubt there is anyone who knows the British people more than I do, Mr. Blair, nor who has greater faith in their wisdom and judgment. And it is my belief that they will any moment reject this—this 'mood', which is being stirred up by the press, in favor of a period of restrained grief, and sober, private mourning. That's the way we do things in this country, quietly, with dignity. That's what the rest of the world has always admired us for.
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