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- Bones after Kirk starts sexing up a shapeshifter girl:
McCoy: What is it with you, anyway?
Kirk: Still think we're finished?
McCoy: More than ever.
- Missed the best part:
Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you!
Shapeshifter!Kirk: Must have been your lifelong ambition!
- Can also work the other way around:
Shapeshifter!Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you!
Kirk: Must have been your lifelong ambition!
- All of Spock's machinations to delay their return to headquarters while they work out who shot the Klingon ship.
"A lie?" "An error."
"A lie?" "An exaggeration."
"A lie?" "An ommission."
- Made a hell of a lot less funny later on with Valeris' Ironic Echo:
"A lie?" "A choice."
- Kirk and McCoy have convinced one of the bad guys to finally explain what the hell's been going on... just in time for Enterprise to find them and beam them up. Once Kirk realizes what's going on, he shouts "Son of a bitch!" and disappears on the last word, leaving it to echo for a while longer.
Chekhov: You want to go back?
- McCoy's reaction to General Chang's incessant hamming is gold:
I'd pay real money if he'd shut up.
- "If I were Human, I believe my response would be... *Fascinating Eyebrow* 'Go to Hell.' If I were Human."
- When Kirk tackles the Federation President at the end of the movie (to save his life, of course) he briefly introduces himself as "Kirk, Enterprise" while he's basically lying on top of the man. It's also the super-casual way he says it that makes it hilarious. One wonders if he meets his blind dates that way.
- McCoy is on the witness stand in Klingon court and is asked his current medical status. He makes a joke about how it's fine, aside from a touch of arthritis. A SINGLE KLINGON laughs his head off while the rest of the assembled audience is quiet.
- The ship is scoured for the missing gravity boots and finally found among the belongings of a crewman. Chekov smugly deposits the boot in front of the crewman, with the declaration "If shoe fits, wear it." Problem is, the shoe DOESN'T fit, as the crewman can't wear standard issue boots because of the unusual shape of his feet.
- Capped by Uhura's Face Palm.