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At this point, let me tell you what's been causing me grief with this film: it is average. What I mean by that is that it is, in pretty much all of its aspects, average, neither good nor bad. This gets to the point where everything has almost a neutral tone to it. It's a beige movie. So it's no surprise we get an average drink scene, followed by a tepid bit of exposition, interrupted by a pointless mind meld scene to establish Kirk leaping to a bit of vanilla action.
He strained to listen for what was missing, and felt that the music was like a flightless bird that didn't even know what capacity it had lost. It walked very well, but it walked where it should soar, it walked where it should swoop, it walked where it should climb and bank and dive, it walked where it should thrill with the giddiness of flight. It never even looked up.
If The Lonely Lady had even a shred of style and humor, it could qualify as the worst movie of the year. Unfortunately, it's not that good. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there in Hollywood and it's not enough to be merely awful. You need something to set yourself apart. Pia Zadora tries, and she has pluck, but she's just not bad enough all by herself.
It's mediocre. I'm not overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I'm just whelmed.—"Mulberry's 2009 Fall TV Preview"
To tell the truth, I actually find it difficult to talk about the writing, not because it's so bad, but because it's so astonishingly mediocre. The plot? Mind-numbingly average. The characters? Despicably one-note.—Phillip on Season of the Witch
Is it a good movie? Well let me tell you something: This. Film. Was. Okay. Just... okay. I mean... not good, not bad, it's just... okay. How is the monster? It's okay. How is the acting? It's okay. How are the special effects? It's all okay! It's like a giant flaming nuclear ball of adequacy!
Yes, Telenet's quality control was lacking. For every Exile series, the company churned out twice as many unremarkable titles... It wasn't as though the typical Telenet release was even memorably bad; it was more the game equivalent of unflavored oatmeal.