Siblings/Funny

Runesuck

• "PLAYING RUNESCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE??!!!!"
  • "Dude, what the fuck?!"
• The dandruff trees on RuneScape.

Rob: Fuck is with those trees? They got dandruff or something? Those fucking trees need some fucking Head and Shoulders. Even though they're trees, they lack a head or shoulders. Johny: They're magic. Rob: That's some stupid fucking magic when all it does is give them dandruff.

• Johny using his player to kill a unicorn on the game.

Rob: You just mind your own damn business when you fuck the shit up for the hell of it. That's horse slaughter! You'll get life in horse court. Johny: Uh, unicorn court. They get pissed off when you call them horses. Rob: Like when you call zephyrs Pegasuseseses. Johny: What? Rob: Nothing.

• "Bet I can break a window with it." "Probably." "Bet I can even KILL a man!...With it."

Rob: What the fuck? How the hell did you pull a 5000? That attack looked the same as those zero attacks you kept doing. Johny: Yeah, but I put my heart on that click.

Johny: There is no pirate stat!...Hey, cool, they just updated it. They added a...pirate stat. Huh, cool, sweet! I can get a peg leg!

Don't Wake Robby!

• Johny calling Rob a vampire. "Oh yeah, he's a vampire." "Count Robula-a-a-a!"
• Rob's first dream. "Running back and forth between the houses! (echo) (Beat) What the fuck? Godzilla? (echo)"
  • Cue Godzilla trying to attack Rob and causing a tidal wave.

Johny: You gotta be kidding me. Rob: I'M NAKED!

• Rob's second dream. "FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUCKING WEEEEEEEEEEEE! FUCKING WEEEEEEeeeeeooooo..."
• When Rob tries to eat the biscuits and gravy but forgets it.

Rob: Wait a minute, they're on the ground. I don't wanna eat this off the ground. One with filth and dog hair all over. (closes the door) Johny: Dammit.

Dog Daze of Boredom

• Rob saying "hi" to Spike repeatedly at the beginning.

Rob: Hi Spike. Hi Spike. Hey Spike! Hi Spike! Hey, Spike! Spike: If Rob walks by and says "hi" one more damn time, I'm gonna, I'm gonna... Rob: Hi Spike! Spike: ...lick my lips and blink.

• Rob's fake animal noise. "CACTUS!"
• Rob bragging to Johny about a paper mâché hand he made and making puns about it.
• This exchange between Rob and Johny:

Rob: Johny. Johny: Rob. Rob: Spike's a dog. Johny: Yeah. Rob: Dogs like being pettededed. Johny: RuneScape likes being playeded. Rob: Play-dough. Johny: Play-don't. Rob: Play with yourself. Johny: No. Rob: I WIN! Let's bother Spike! Johny: Kay.

• The ending, in which Spike commits a Squicky moment offscreen.

Rob: (happy) SPIKE!! (becomes shocked) Johny: Ew. Spike: Do you mind?

Pop-a-Cap!

• "Hey John, think slow!"

Dan: What the hell, JewBob? Rob: Uh, IT WAS SPIKE! (runs off) Spike: ...STOOL PIGEON!

Half Beard

• When Rob starts shaving his beard, annoyed:

Rob: Boy, shaving is... Beard: AAAAHHH!!! WHY?! THE PAIN!!! Rob: Shut up, beard! Beard: Okay.

• "Rugged. Smooth. Rugged. Smooth. I'M SO BRILLIANT!"

Johny: I don't think you're in a mind, period. Rob: Semi-colon. Johny: What? Rob: QUESTION MARK!

• Before Johny starts playing Rob's "half beard theme" on his guitar:

Johny: Rob, do me a favor. Rob: What? Johny: Blink. (Rob blinks) Johny: (whispering) Thank you.

Johny: (calling CJ) What? Dude, I'm playing my guitar. I don't wanna play 24/7. You do it! NO! (hangs up) Johny: I don't care how many peacock feathers you tickle me with, you damn weirdo.

Johny: Mom, can I get a ride? Mom: I'm playing my gypsy fortune telling cards. Wanna play? Johny: Dad, can I get a ride? Dad: Hm? No, I just got on the computer. I gotta get my solitaire fix. Johny: Danny, can I get a ride? Dan: No, JewJohn. Mason: Da-hee! Johny: Spike, can I get a ride? Spike: (grunt) Johny: AHH! Dad: Just get Rob to give you a ride. Johny: No, his half beard's gonna...EMBARRASS me. Rob: (out of nowhere, startling Johny) HI JOHN!!! (Beat) Johny: (sigh) Fine. You're gonna give me a ride, huh? You're not gonna stick around and embarrass me, right? ...You're just gonna stand there? (Rob runs off) Johny: Awwww.

• "That was the decoy Rob!"
• "Hey, you can't do this! I AM ROBERT WINCHESTER! BROTHER TO JOHNY WINCHESTER! HE WHO SITS RIGHT THERE IN THE BLEACHERS! LOOK AT HIM AND KNOW MY ASSOCIATION WITH HIM!"

Mike: (upon seeing CJ chasing Johny with peacock feathers) Oh yeah, that reminds me. (pulls out a small pink feather and stares cunningly at Bjorn) Bjorn: For the last time, Mikey, I am not gay, and neither are you! I think. Mike: (sly giggle) (Bjorn backs off)

• The Stinger, with Rob's new beard style.

Rob: Johny, come see! Johny: Oh, god. Rob: Reverse goatee is born! Johny: (groan)

Not-the-Final Fantasy XII

• "Are we having a party in here?" "YES! PARTY!"

Rob: It's Final Fantasy, John, not Grand Theft Auto. Johny: Steal that chicobbo! Rob: I CAN'T! And um, it's pronounced "chocobo". Johny: That's stupid.

Rob: Johny? Johny: Rob. Rob: What are you doing? Johny: You're connected to the internet. Rob: So what? Johny: I'm gonna play RuneScape. Rob: Oh hell no. Dan: Bob, stop it! You're making Mason frown! Rob: What, what? Baby Mason? Frowning? (Mason looks sad, but changes his expression to concerned) Rob: Concerned? (Mason looks happy and giggles) Rob: Happy? Okay, now you're messing with me.

• "REVOLUTIOOOOOON! Sky pirate!"

Johny: RuneScape has a story. Well, pieces of a story, in the mini-quests. Why do I have to do all this shit?

Rob: (about Vaan on the game) He's the worst character in the game, so I didn't use him. Johny: But he's the main character! Dan: Why the hate, Bob, why?! Rob: Dude, look at him for a second. (shows them Vaan on the TV screen) Dan: Aah, Jew! Rob: He's Michael Jackson with a stupid haircut. His stomach doesn't even look real.

• Rob's Long List of wolf palette swaps.

"Well, let's see, we have red wolf, orange wolf, brown wolf, blue glowing wolf, wolf on fire, wolf with a top hat, Teen Wolf, wolf with a funny mustache, wolf that turns into Link, inside out wolf - and that's not even counting wolfmen."

• "HOLY SHIT, STOP THE WORLD! IT'S ONE GIL!"
• "Oh, Vaan, everybody hates you. The way you should be."

Heinous Anus Zone

Johny: (about Rob's imaginary Sonic level) I don't wanna hear this. Rob: Why not, John? It's such a good idea. Johny: It's a terrible idea. Rob: (chuckles) I'm gonna write to Sonic Team and tell them to put it in the next game. Johny: I'm sure they have better ideas than that.

• When Mr. T comes out of nowhere startling Rob right after Johny says "Fool's gold."

Mr. T: GRR! Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you? Rob: Shit, man, I told you not to do that! Mr. T: Sorry 'bout that. Rob: I hate it when people do that.

• "You never have a good idea." "BLASPHEMY!"

tWHYlight

• "If it's not a teenybopper movie with vampires in it for the hell of it...IT'S A TEENYBOPPER MOVIE WITH VAMPIRES IN IT FOR THE HELL OF IT!!"
• "STOP SQUEALING EVERY TIME A PENIS WALKS ON THE SCREEN!! JESUS!"

Edward Cullen: I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dange-- (Beat) I'm a pretty vampire, shut up!

Rob: WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS SHIT?! Adrian: I hope this could be better. Rob: I hope this doesn't turn into a musical, but I swear, if Hannah Montana makes a guest appearance, I'm gonna go on a murderous rampage. AND YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE FIRST!! Fangirls: WOOOOOOOOOO! Rob: GRAAAHH!!

• "Glitter skin, glitter skin!" "I HATE GLITTER!!"

Rob: SHOOT ME NOOOOW!!! Adrian: Uh, sorry, I forgot my gun. Rob: Of course you did!

Fangirl: Oh my god, I'm gonna go see Twilight! TV said it's gonna be awesome! WOO! Rob: Hey, let me tell you something important for a moment - EVERYONE DIES, THAT'S THE SURPRISE ENDING!! (walks away) Fangirl: (Inelegant Blubbering) I only bought a ticket...

Don't Sleep, Robby!

• Johny trying to connect to the internet. "I said you'll never let me down!...STOP LETTING ME DOWN!"
• "Gotta get on a good schedule, John. On a good schedule I gotta get. Good schedule I gotta get on a." "You're scaring me, Rob." "Fear is the devil's matchmaker, John."

Max: Canadian, eh? Johny? Eh, eh? You're trying to mock my country, John? We got botch hands, that means it isn't better! Johny: I said "uh". Uh! Like the bad beat machine I am. Max: Beat machine? Pff. You never played DDR.

• When Johny happily snuggles himself on Rob's bed, pretending to sleep.

Johny: But Rob, sleeping is good! Good sleep! (jumps onto Rob's bed and cuddles himself) Johny: Ah, this bed is so comfy! Oh yeah, it's such a comfy bed! Max: You're enjoying yourself there, Johny? Johny: Oh yeah, the pillow, the pillow! Feels so good to be so sleep!

• "I'll be back!" "To the future." (Beat) "God dammit."
• "All the effort wasted? DAMMIT! AAH! (crash) Dammit, who put my stereo here?!"

Max: Ooh, sounds important, should I be writing this down? Rob: You haven't been??

• This exchange:

Johny: You were sleeping! Rob: Nah, I'm staying awake. I'm zoning. Johny: Sleeping! Rob: Zoning! Max: Meditating! Rob: Mediating! Max: Meteor! Johny: Sleeping, I said!

• "EXCITE BIKE, BITCH!! WHAT? WHAT?! WHAT?!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"
  • This also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
• After Rob wakes up from his dream:

Rob: You know what makes for a terrible pillow? The laptop keyboard. Especially one this fucking hot.

• When Rob realizes he accidentally stepped in the burrito. "Ah, dammit, I forgot my feet were dirty from the burrito! Ah, gross, it's all over the carpet!"

Johny: Haha! I finally found the perfect way to make Rob go to sleep! More perfect - wait a minute! I said this already! That exact line! This has all happened before, I swear it! Dammit, screw this, this déjà vu shit's freaking me out! Time for me to go crawl on the fetal position on my bed! Why am I in this closet when I plot, anyways?

• When Johny sees Rob finally going to sleep at the end. "FINALLY!" (Whap!) "Dammit!"