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  • At the beginning:

 Wash: If Kaylee doesn't give us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burn-through, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting.

Mal: Define "interesting".

Wash: "Oh God oh God we're all gonna die"?

Mal: '[over intercom] This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we might experience some slight turbulence, and the… explode. [to Wash] Can you shave the vector?

Wash: I'm doing it, it's not enough.

Mal: Well, just get us on the ground.

Wash: That part'll happen pretty definitely!

    • "We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!"
  • As River fights in the bar:

 Fanty: Do you know that girl?

Mal: I really don't.

  • Kaylee after Simon confesses his feelings for her:

 Simon: In all that time on the ship... I've always regretted... not being with you.

Kaylee: With me? You mean to say... as in sex?

Simon (flustered): I... mean to say.

Kaylee: To Hell with this. I'm gonna live!

  • When they enter the bar:

 Kaylee: It's been going on a year now I ain't had nothin' betwixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries!

Mal: Oh god! I can't know that!

Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.

  • After the Reaver chase at the beginning:

 Simon: River! Are you alright?

River: I swallowed a bug...

  • This exchange:

 Mal: Do you want to run this ship?!

Jayne: Yes!

Mal: Well...[beat] you can't!

  • Those grenades Mal didn't want Jayne to take along... one Reaver ship later:

  Jayne: "Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?"

  • A guard at the company the crew is robbing asks for a password. Jayne fires his machine gun.

  "Okay!"

    • The guard then discussing where he wants to be shot (so he can avoid punishment for allowing the robbery to take place), with him and Mal debating the merits of a bullet through various areas of human anatomy.

 Mal: The leg is good, it'll bleed plenty, and we avoid any necessary organs.

Guard: I was thinking more of a graze...

Mal: Well, you don't want it to look like you just gave up.

  • Jayne calling for Mal when the Reavers arrive:

  Every heist he's gotta start yellin' my name!

  • Ahem... Ceiling River. That is all.
  • ‎"I've staked my crew's life on the theory you're a person, actual and whole. And if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now." *click* "… or… we could talk more."
  • "Zoe, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour, you take this ship and you come and you rescue me!
  • "Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint."
  • When the Operative and Mal first meet, and Mal tries to goad him:

 The Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you so that you don't waste your time; you cannot make me angry.

Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.

  • At the heist at the beginning, they open the safe door...only to find almost nothing in it.
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