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Various SATW speculation

  • Galapagos Island is a Giant Tortoise
  • Mauritius is a Dodo
    • Mauritius is dead?!
  • Madagascar is a Lemur
    • Mangatsika! Madagascar is Zoboomafoo!
  • There are representations of indigenous peoples (like Native America and Aboriginal Australia)
  • Great Britain Raped Sister Native America and the Modern United States are her children from it (same with Aboriginal Australia)
  • France had an affair with Brother Native America and the Modern Canadas are her children from it
  • France is a Cougar for United States, but mainly to get Great Britain's goat
  • There is a White South Africa. He is the love child of Sister England and the Netherlands, and he imposed Apartheid on Black South Africa for decades. This made Black South Africa very sensitive to racism.
  • There are representations of every country that has ever existed (like the Confederate states of America)
    • Considering how their personalities have developed, it wouldn't be surprising if instead The American Civil War was yet another instance when (Brother) America went whacko and decided to leave home, only for Sister America to kick him back.
      • Needs some expansion. After the American Revolution, America left home, and Sister America went with him. America was being a Jerkass to the African countries, bossing them around and stalking them, and Sister America, while she was rather rude to them too, she didn't approve of America's asshattery. America wanted to be all Achilles in His Tent but Sister America tried smacking some sense into him. The fight quickly escalated, the house nearly burned down, and while America tried to call his father, France, and anyone else, nobody would help him. Canada, however, took Sister America's side.
      • Not the African countries, but African America, a guy England kidnapped to look after his children while he was away birdwatching.
  • Hawaii is a Tropical Fish (or a bird endemic to Hawaii) and Alaska is a Moose.
    • Denmark is in consequence deeply afraid of Alaska.
  • The United States are the individual states, and have their own individual personalities; however, only the America siblings really know them, as they mostly keep to themselves. (Explains the difference between state governments and the federal government/mass media.)
  • Brazil is either a soccer football soccer nut or a F 1 nut.
  • Alsace and Lorraine are twins, and the result of a one night stand between France and Germany; the constant going back and forth of the two between the two countries are a custody battle between the two. France won.
    • Alternatively, they're quadruplets or at least siblings with Palatinate and Saarland. The siblings were divided half-way with Alasce and Lorraine going to France and Saarland and Palatinate going with Germany.
    • Likewise, the Liancourt Islands is the result of a one night stand with South Korea and Sister Japan; but unfortunately for him, they can never agree who should be his official guardian (though South Korea is the one who takes care of him in practice).
  • Freetown Christiania will become Tsundere for Sealand.
  • England was a neglectful parent to Australia, leading him to act out like America, which pushed England into sending him away. Canada however has a better relationship with England than either America or Australia, because England adopted him and probably didn't neglect him so much. Sealand will likely end up causing as much trouble as Australia and America, and running away to smoke pot with Christiania.
  • Molossia is the most mild-mannered and well behaved of the micronations. Except the time he was Kickassia: that was a rebellious phase that didn't last long.
    • Alternately, Kevin Baugh, the 'president' of Molossia, is Molossia. (This had been suggested before in the Kickassia WMG page as a Hetalia character, but that had been jossed.)
  • Spain and/or Sister Spain is/was a total slut.
    • You come up with a better explanation as to why they have almost an entire continent of kids.
      • They came in, killed all Brother Aztec & Inca nations and married their Sisters. It's quite historically correct, since races are quite mixed in all Latin American countries, but the mix happened after the conquest wars.
        • Argentina and Uruguay's father is Italy and Chile's father is Germany, however.
      • She is a Roman Catholic who believes in having as many children as God allows upon her.
        • Alternately, Modern Spain is the child of Castille and Aragon, who were the ones who were Catholic and had many children. (Wouldn't be too far from actual history...)
  • South Korea is a Starcraft obsessed computer nerd while his brother North Korea is a paranoid recluse with a god complex.
    • With a tendency for break-dancing.
  • The size of America's muscles is in direct relation to his military spending. This explains why he wasn't that big before the Iraq War.
  • America is a Stalker with a Crush to Cuba. She dated him for a while, but dumped him for Russia. Now she is in a relationship with Venezuela.
    • Who is either her brother, or if all those fanart depicting her as a girl are right, her sister.
  • North Korea is Sister Korea.
    • North Korea is North Korea, but is a girl.
  • The Koreas are cousins to the Japans.
    • Not that they will admit it...
    • Alternatively, the Koreas say they're actually their parents, but the Japans say they're distant cousins. China once knew their exact relationship, but forgot.
  • Taiwan is China's rebellious young son (and Japans' brother), and has been influenced a bit by his siblings. (Just throwing it out)
    • Shouldn't it be the other way around?
  • Sister America will manage to annoy both Sweden and Finland by shipping them together... with Finland as seme.
  • Sweden came up with Caramelldansen. It was either him or Sister Sweden, and this way is funnier.
    • Sweden was completely wasted when he came up with Caramelldansen. Only Sister Sweden was sober enough at the time to remember it and spread it around, but nobody believed her when she said Sweden did it first, and credit is commonly given to her.
      • And she came up with the Japanese version to get into Sister Japan's pants. It worked.
  • Singapore will be a neat freak that speaks Singlish and is capable of speaking several languages.
  • Philippines doesn't wear his/her flag as a shirt but instead uses the ever popular Sun and Stars Design on a white shirt in accordance to Philippine Law.
    • Alternatively he/she will just use a similar pattern to the Philippine Flag just without the stars again in accordance to law.
    • If Philippines is a Mood Swinger, his/her shirt will be on with the Red on the right and the Blue on the left. (If red is up or is on the right side of the flag, according to Philippine law means that the Nation is at war.)
    • Philippines is weird, period. Also, singing My Way is Serious Business to him/her.
  • Ancient Rome will be either a man in a Toga or a Centurion and has the Biggest family of any of the Characters since most of the Modern Countries as we see them today are his sons/daughters.
    • And he throws the best Toga parties.
  • Ancient Egypt is a mummy, either that or has an Egyptian false beard.
  • If the characters had normal names, then Brother America's real first name is Sam.
    • Denmark's first name is Niels and Sweden's is Sven.
    • Italy's Italo, France is Marianne, Russia is Ivan and Germany is Fritz.
  • Denmark owns either a large house or a boarding house or something, and as he's the landlord, the Faroes, Greenland, Bornholm etc. are his tennants... explains why they live with him and frequently owe him money.
    • Does it really count as Wild Mass Guessing if it's the most obvious and logical interpretation of the canonical info?
    • Does that mean then that several countries other than Denmark (America, England, France, etc.) are all landlords too?
  • The American siblings own a lot of questionably legal weaponry that few other countries would bother touching.
    • And they have a drug problem.
  • Sister Canada is a lot like Sister Norway- she's the Straight Man like her brother, but isn't as prone to being a Cloudcuckoolander. She has never once sat upon Sister America's head.
    • Well, how could she? There's a dog in the way. (Then again, maybe Sister America puts the dog up there to make up for the soul-sucking void left by Sister Canada's absence. She did name it Ottawa, after all.)
  • Roanoke was England's first child. England was, of course, a shitty dad to her too, so when he went out on an errand that took longer than he expected, Roanoke got fed up and ran away, possibly with her boyfriend, Croatoan. Neither one has been really heard from since, except from two of the States, Virginia and North Carolina.
  • Italy's parents are Sardinia and Piedmont.
  • Nazi Germany is still around because of neo-nazis.
  • Possible backstory for Ireland:
    • Ireland and Northern Ireland once dirt broke and had to move in with England for some reason. England got a little attached and wouldn't let them leave. Ireland pulled a Bornholm and fought with England until England let him go. Northern Ireland decided he liked living with England. He's been fighting with Ireland over it ever since.
    • Alternatively, Northern Ireland fell in love with Scotland.
  • Nepal is a Knife Nut England calls when he needs to take care of somebody.
  • Mongolia is (or was) the Implacable Man. Everybody prefers to leave him alone minding his own business.
  • In World War II, Germany was Nazi Germany's henchman that he had brainwashed into doing his bidding. After the end of it, Germany was returned to normal and felt guilty over letting himself become brainwashed and over the actions he did while under his influence.
    • That and Italy, France and Poland did their worst to make him feel even more guilty to get back at him for their respective occupations.
  • Italy is paying Denmark and Netherlands to sabotage Germany and Sister Japan's relationship because everyone knows of how badass German and Japanese military were during World War II but only Russia, Germany, America and England knows what he did those rare times he actually fought and Germany, America and England refuse to admit it in public (America could have forgot).
    • England isn't getting any measure of revenge because Italy is embarassed about those leaks that allowed England to make him look like a fool (that and the leaks were on Germany's side, so the resentement for England is diverted on Germany), while America is spared because he paid for rebuilding Italy's house and buys a lot of Italy's pistols and shotguns.
  • Nazi Germany is a demon born of the dark half of Germany's own personality, who once possessed Germany entirely, and is now fully repressed but can occasionally materialise as a ghost/poltergeist/thing when he is invoked by Germany being reminded of him (like here and here). It's because Nazi Germany started as a split personality that Germany still feels guilty about what he did while possessed, because it ultimately came from him and not an outside force.

Notes

  1. Yes, even a Sphinx.
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