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File:BoringApocalypse 6573.jpg


"I am the captain. The year is 20__ something something. I stopped counting a while ago, and therefore not sure what day it is. Humanity is virtually wiped out in a nuclear holocaust. Me and my last squad: pilot and sniper, live in the wasteland ruins of tomorrow. This is my story. I am captain."

The nuclear Apocalypse has come and gone, scarring the cityscape into an almost unrecognizable scene of twisted metal. Dangerous mutant animals prowl the dark recesses of the underground tunnels. Aliens pop up every once in a while to steal one of the few surviving members of the human race.

So life is a constant battle just to stay alive, right?

Actually it's really, REALLY boring. Aliens and Monsters are few and far between, so mostly you just have the barren wasteland, its long dead skeletal occupants, whatever you manage to find, plus your imagination to keep you entertained.

Meet The Captain and his team: Pilot and Sniper (a.k.a. "Mr. Snippy"). They're going to attempt to stay alive in this dangerous environment. But mostly? They're going to try to keep themselves from succumbing to boredom.

You can read the comic here.

Of course, once in a while, there's going to be some grand adventure to be had by the group.


This Web Comic contains examples of:

  • After the End
  • AI Is a Crapshoot: ANNET.
  • Alien Abduction: Sniper becomes a victim of this. Fortunately for him, he is rescued by The Captain.
  • All Just a Dream: Sniper has this feeling. Turns out it just an evil entity that's manipulating his thoughts. Or is it? See Schrodinger's Butterfly.
  • All There in the Manual: The creator has started to post Snippy's autobiographical data, which has started to explain the events leading up to the apocalypse, as well as describing daily life with Captain and Pilot. Pilot has a journal entry as well. More recently, the creator has started posting some backstory in the descriptions for some of the strips, such as this one. There also used to be a page on the website, with no links to it (for some reason), that gave a fair bit of backstory. It has been removed. Then there are the crewmates' tumblr and Facebook pages.
  • Always a Bigger Fish: First an unidentified group in gas-masks ambush Sniper. Then the red monstrosity shows up to flay and reanimate them.
  • Ambiguous Gender: The creator refuses to comment on anyone's gender, which has lead to a lot of debate on the forums. The only characters whose genders have been confirmed are Sniper, who is a guy and, more recently, Engineer, who is also a guy.
    • Issue 54 indicates that The Captain is female: Calling Snippy "Mr.", (s)he orders him to "grab my boob". There's also the Que Sera, Sera video, with several images focusing on a little girl and, later, a young woman, with the lyrics implying its actually The Captain him/her/itself. Of course, The Captain could simply be an Unreliable Narrator, and the narrator's voice has distinct male tone to it (plus, men have boobs too). Given the usual tone of the comic (lemonade cults, caked-to-death aliens, etc.) a man who refers to his younger self as a girl is fairly normal. Or maybe the creator is just screwing with us.
      • There was also talk about being "given" the very best genes alongside images of the girl being operated on with strange lab equipment, implying some genetic modification took place several years after birth, thus making it possible that the captain's gender was altered somehow.
    • It doesn't help that Captain is often modelled by the author's fiancée. According to Word of God, the rest of the Captain's models are both men and women, so "the Captain is thus technically all genders".
    • On their Facebook pages, Pilot's and Captain's genders are both given as "Neutral (it)".
    • In a flashback to his early childhood, Captain is called a "little girl" by a creepy man offering candy. As young Captain is wearing a gas mask at the time and doesn't have a girlish figure, this could be chalked up to misidentification (and it's also possible that the incident is made up or misremembered). However, one of Pilot's journals begins with "EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T BORN A 'LITTLE GIRL IN A STRANGE AND FORGOTTEN COUNTRY FORMERLY KNOWN AS GERMANY'", linking to the same strip where the creepy man calls Captain a girl. The specification that Captain was "born" a little girl seems to imply that it was a temporary state.
    • Additionally, in this journal Snippy remembers Pilot and Captain in his "dream" as a green-eyed man-child and a purple-eyed girl, respectively. Then again, he also seems think that Pilot was a robot, remembers the whale that he lived inside as being a fish, and overall seems uncertain of what happened in the "dream".
    • Apparently, Captain uses a voice modulator, so even his voice can't tell us his gender.
    • page 86 points to captain being a girl, but at the same time, it's a guest comic. And Alexius could be trolling us
      • None of the Captain's actions in that comic would be out of character even if (s)he were a he.
  • Apocalypse How: Between classes 4 and 5, as the creator says that The Captain, his squad, a cult of soft drink worshippers, and a few other isolated off-screen groups are the only human survivors left. Most plant life is gone, and giant, leech-like worms are some of the only few things left of the animal kingdom.
  • Art Shift: Happens occasionally. Later on it often comes about in the form of a guest artist or collaboration with one or more artists.
  • Art Style Dissonance: And how!
  • Backstory: The creator is starting to reveal the characters' highly intriguing backstories via flashbacks and journal entries. The focus so far seems to be on Mr. Snippy, but we've also seen a bit of Engineer's and even a tiny bit of Pilot's. The Captain's, of course, remains elusive as ever. As is standard, much of the new information raises many more questions than it answers.
  • Big Applesauce: The comic seems to be set in post-apocalyptic New York. This one comic is the only indication of such, though.
  • Big Entrance: ANNET:
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: The aliens are bipedal, but their bodies seem to be full of "juices".
  • Born-Again Immortality: The Lifealope may have this ability, if this is any indication. It may actually be Resurrective Immortality, or in this case there may be no distinction between the two, since it's not clear if the Lifealope ages in the conventional sense of the word — plus it shapeshifts, so it can look like any age it wants.
  • Born Lucky: Captain is heavily implied to have this attribute.
  • Brick Joke:
  • The Captain: The Captain, obviously.
  • Catch Phrase / Never Live It Down: The exclamation "Bwah?!" expressing confusion, surprise or alarm, has been said four times by the Sniper in the comic, and never by any other character, so it has become something of a catch phrase in Fan Art.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: The comic started out with one-off jokes that didn't really connect to each other in any meaningful way. The first story arc (the Lemonade Cult) got started pretty quickly, but it was more for laughs than anything else, and didn't move the story forward at all. Then, as the result of another short story arc that was all comedy and seemingly of no consequence whatsoever, the Cancer showed up, and shit got real. Though the main storyline hasn't moved forward more than a few minutes from that point, the readership is now being treated to several interesting flashbacks and character journal entries that reveal a much deeper story than one would expect from the earliest issues. The comedic side of the story certainly doesn't suffer though — the creator seems able to juggle comedy and drama with the skill of a master.
  • Character Blog: Semi-official ones exist in the form of "Ask (character)" Tumblr pages for each main character. Though owned and operated by fans, the ones for the main characters are kept in contact with the author, Vitaly S. Alexius, who keeps them up to date on his plot plans and character bios to ensure that they're as accurate as possible. The ones for less major characters such as Photoshop and Mr. Kittyhawk do not include the same level of plot-backing, however. The characters also have their own Facebook pages, operated by Vitaly, where people can ask questions or see what the characters are up to (Photoshop has one, too. So far it consists of roaring and growling).
  • The Chew Toy: Mr. Snippy is very much this. Bad luck seems to follow him around: He is constantly dealing with Captain's and Pilot's annoying and often dangerous antics; he was left hanging in an upside-down train for a long time (possibly days); abducted by aliens; captured by a group of survivors; and most recently, almost killed, and then captured and "integrated", by the Cancer. It's also been revealed that before the comic begins, he was swallowed by a whale. This turned out to be part of a plot by Pilot to have Captain all to himself. A journal entry reveals that he was once subjected to a Captain-proclaimed "holiday" in which several objects were thrown at him, ending in a "battle to the death" against Pilot and Photoshop (cosplaying as internet browsers) — which he lost, obviously. He recounts a week during which Captain dressed him up in "ridiculous outfits" and made him play the personalities — one of which was "Zombie Snippy", resulting in him getting more objects thrown at him, as well as dirt. "Fireman Snippy" had his shoe set on fire and was shoved into a burning skyscraper. ("Thank god my G Directorate issue Officer uniform is fireproof.") Every day, Captain wakes him up with an irritating noise. And he had to listen to Nyan Cat for a week. Once, he was stuffed into a shopping cart while he was sleeping, to recreate a scene from a "Jackass" poster. And he almost had his face eaten off by a flying Photoshop. Another journal reveals that Pilot once tied him to a couch while he was sleeping. It's becoming quite common for fans to proclaim, "Poor Snippy".

 Snippy: Does the director of this madness ever sleep?

  • Chromatic Arrangement: If you count the Captain's purple goggles as red, the gang fits this trope to a T, as Captain is the The Leader, Snippy is blue and The Lancer, Pilot is green and The Big Guy, and Engineer is the orange-ish fourth member. You could also ignore the goggles and count the more prominent red band on the Captain's cap and the mug with a red heart on it.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: The Captain and Pilot -- the latter perhaps even more so than the former.

  Pilot's Journal: SOMEDAY I'LL BUILD A HOUSE... NO A BOAT SHAPED LIKE A SHOE AND SAIL ACROSS THE OCEAN TO THE PARADISE LAND OF PANCAKES AND MERRYNESS.

  • Cold Sniper: Subverted. Despite being the only character to carry a (traditional) weapon, and despite a tendency towards sarcasm, the Sniper is sympathetic and quick to defend The Captain from danger, even though he's usually the one to get hurt.
  • Comic Trio: The Captain is the navigator, Pilot is the driver, and Sniper is the guy trapped in the back seat.
  • Companion Cube: Pilot has a toy puffin named Mr. Kittyhawk.
  • Continuity Creep
  • Crosscast Role: Unless (s)he is literally genderless, or a hermaphrodite, Captain is modelled by the opposite sex all the time, as according to Word of God, (s)he is modelled by his fiancée and by people who come into the studio, both men and women. This might be true of other characters as well.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:
    • The Captain may seem bungling on the surface, but he's probably the last person you want to pick a fight with.
    • While not as much as The Captain, Pilot also has this to a degree. Most of the time, he runs and freaks out over tiny radioactive spiders. But then he performs a gravity-defying leap and slices off several of Cancer's tentacles with a pipe in order to try and rescue Sniper.
  • Cute and Psycho: Pilot. Yes, he's totally adorable, but...oh dear Lord.

  THE TINY TAG ON MY INSIDE FOLD OF MY JACKET SAYS "SG CHRISTOPHORUS HATCHENSON". THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SOMEONE I LIKE. MAYBE I KILLED THEM FOR THIS JACKET. THIS JACKET IS SOFT AND FITTING. ... THE DEAD LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND TALK TO ME, BUT THEY AREN'T VERY INTERACTIVE, UNLESS PROVOKED. IF YOU LOOK FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE, YOU CAN SEE THEM MOVE.

    • ANNET.
  • Cult: The Nutritionists, who worship the Holy Lemonade and have a "religious document" that is actually a sticker from a soft drink bottle.
  • Dada Comic: Onlookers may not get why a jet-powered train and a fizzy-drinks cult is so funny.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Snippy, of course.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: According to his journals, Tumblr, and Facebook page, Snippy's life before the apocalypse seems to have been this. In his "normal" life, he was a branch officer for GOOD Directorate, Inc. Unfortunately, he was one of about 1% of people who couldn't connect to the neural network with his mind. This meant he had to work a dead-end job and he couldn't afford enough sleep. When he did sleep, the neural network's attempts to connect with his mind caused horrific nightmares -- so needless to say he was constantly exhausted. Plus the nightmares apparently made him lose track of reality. Then, when he was escorting a science team on a mission to investigate an anomaly, a "series of unfortunate events" killed all of them, and he still blames himself for this. When he got out of the zone — which took weeks — everyone was already dead.

 I can't stand being alone for too long, too many dark memories from my past start to waltz in my thoughts. Is this why I keep myself subject to Captain's plots? To run away from my past?

  DEAR SHOE, THAT'S RIGHT YOU ARE A SHOE. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT NOT BEING A SHOE BECAUSE IN MY MIND YOU ARE ONE AND THAT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE. AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU CONCEPTUALIZED AS A SHOE IN MY IMAGINATION YOU SHALL REMAIN AS SUCH. THIS MAKES ME WONDER WHETHER ALL PEOPLES AND OBJECTS CAN BE CONCEPTUALIZED AS SHOES AND THUS BECOME SUCH, GRANTING ME ABSOLUTE POWER OVER THEM. DOES SNIPPY HAVE A CLEVER ARGUMENT? NO HE DOESN'T, HE'S A SHOE. SHOES CAN'T HAVE CLEVER ARGUMENTS.

  "My sexy followers! Look at them! They are watching my every move and JUDGING ME!"

  • The Messiah: According to his journal and information from a now-defunct webpage, Pilot thinks the Captain is this.
  • Master Computer
  • Mind Probe: It makes trials so much easier.
  • Mind Screw: Exactly where does the line between Sniper's dreams, flashbacks, and reality begin and end?
  • Nightmare Face: Zee Captain's, according to Issue 23.
  • No Name Given: The whole gang, up until recently (Snippy's and Engineer's names have now been given). All the other characters at least have official names or nicknames though, except for the wolfalope, who doesn't even have an In-Series Nickname. Pilot's and Captain's names have both been hinted at, but not confirmed.
  • Not Quite Dead:
    • ANNET, despite Engineer taking countless lives in his attempt to kill her. Oops.
    • Also, the Cancer, here.
    • The Lifealope, after Protocol 1-1-3.
  • Nuke'Em: How Engineer disposed of ANNET. Your Mileage May Vary as to whether it was justified or not (especially considering that it didn't work).
  • Oh Crap: Snippy, here.
  • Only Friend: According to his Tumblr account, part of the reason Snippy hangs around with Captain and puts up with him is that he'd be all alone otherwise.

 He's such a child. I often feel like I'm babysitting him. Yet at the same time he always bosses me around relentlessly and is always making up some absolutely ridiculous demands... I hate it. But still... He's all there is. He's my only friend.

    • Surprisingly, Captain is also Snippy's favourite crewmate, partly because of this.

 Anonymous: Who's your favourite crewmate?

Mr. Snippy: [after deciding on Captain] Only because Pilot is more insane than Captain, I haven’t even seen Engie in awhile, and hey, if a guy’s gonna offer you friendship in a lonely world like this, you might as well take it, right?

 ANNET: Your party exceeded the maximum number of persons. Execute protocol 1-1-3. Have a nice day...

 ONE DAY, THE CAPTAIN WOKE ME UP SO I COULD SERVE HIM FOR ALL TIME. IT'S A SHAME THE SAME THING WON'T HAPPEN TO SNIPPY BECAUSE HE'S INSOLENT AND TRIES TO ESCAPE FROM CAPTAIN'S ORDERS.

 Zee Captain: "Our new intern tells me zee Thermonulear Holocaustwiped out all life.

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