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Guarding all of reality is fraught with danger to life and limb, risk of madness, and the odd bad dream.


  • Think the macroviruses were bad in Star Trek: Voyager? Now imagine the bugs an infected Paul Bunyan would produce. Imagine how big a bug would have to be to stab an adult human through the heart.
  • A Mary Sue could completely Mind Rape you, and there's nothing you could do about it.
  • In Tom Paris Is NOT a Wimp, a character replacement is given a glass of hydrochloric acid. The author describes the results.
  • Agent X is Ax Crazy even by PPC standards, and even her friends are afraid of her. Fortunately, the author of Sue Be Nimble, Sue Be Fast does not traumatize the reader with a description of what she [X] did to the Mary Sue.
  • Any Fanfic tackled by the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department.
  • The Word Worlds tend to create literal interpretations of poorly-phrased or mistyped sentences, causing the characters to actually do the things described even if they clearly weren't meant to. Or there are cases where they were meant to do the physically implausible things, thanks to a Critical Research Failure on the author's part. The agents have to watch this. Notable examples include a pornographic fic which kept mixing up or dropping tags, so both characters performed every action described upon the other at the same time. Or the one in which one character managed, in Agent Deuce's words, to "stick his thing into the other guy's thi-" Your Mileage May Vary on whether the incident in which poor description turned the protagonist into a giant walking sandwich is Nightmare Fuel or a Crowning Moment of Funny.
  • Some agents have the Bloodwrath, and can be set off with trivial ease.
  • The Mind Extractor. It rips you from your body and plants you in another.
  • Agent Verra seems to be a Yandere, and has threatened to eat Alec on at least one occasion.
  • Agent Madison O'Grady. Okay, so Billy Bannister has fiery breath too, but he isn't in a line of work that corrodes one's sanity.
  • The Ring of Sairalindë, an uncontrollable weapon. Yes, it can destroy a platoon of Orcs and a Doppelganger, but it also kills the user.
  • Agent Laburnum attempting to rescue two otters from a goodfic, getting caught by an entire horde of vermin and nearly killed. Of course, being Laburnum, she ended up paying back her attackers with interest using a hedgehog skin, a scythe and a lot of honey. Just to make it worse, she and Foxglove claim to have managed "the thing with the scythe" without removing the victim's pants. One dreads to think what she'd have done had they actually succeeded in their attempts to rape her.
  • Obligatory Star Wars example: Yuuzhan Vong agents equipped with Sun Crushers. For those unfamiliar, a Yuuzhan Vong is a Proud Warrior Race Guy who is blind to the Force and produces plenty of Nightmare Fuel on his own. A Sun Crusher destroys stars. Two great Nightmare Fuels that are great together.
  • One rather horrible Sweeney Todd fic has Anthony stabbing Sweeney in the leg and feeling around inside his leg, including pulling on a leg nerve.
  • The Authors (of the fics, not the missions) often have horrifying views on what constitutes normal and right, which often shows in their stories. For example, in the mission Girls Will Be Boys And Boys Will Be Girls, Ron becomes rather emotional and bursts into tears. The Author blames this on his being pregnant, which to be fair would make sense in another situation where he hadn't been dragged out of his own universe, forcibly genderbent and horribly raped, all of which happened within a few days. Let's not get into how he even knew he was pregnant less than a day after the impregnation.
    • What, no mention of For Your Eyes Only? The notes for the mission (VERY not-work-safe) described it as "offensive at best", which doesn't really cover the creepiness at all.
      • It's enough to make anyone curl up into a little ball and rock backwards and forwards crying, even if they're not a fan of Naruto. The... thing that replaced Naruto is an insult to ninjas worldwide.
      • And what happened to Sakura-bunny is pure Nightmare Fuel... especially because right afterwards, the only thing that happens to her killer is that he's lightly rebuked for killing the only totally submissive pet-thing they had. Repeat: He was lightly rebuked for murdering another sentient being. Not because he killed a sentient being, not because she hadn't done anything wrong, just because they didn't have another pet that'd fuck anyone. The mind boggles.
  • In one fic, the Luggage ate Boromir.
  • Fridge Horror applies to the experience of Gorillaz's 2D in "Gorillaz in the MST". He agreed to do the MS Ting to get away from the whale which had canonically been staring at him for months (It Makes Sense in Context) and wasn't told what the sporked fic was about. He realised too late that it involved him being raped. By Murdoc, who was also in the theatre as a riffer. And, in accordance with traditional MST rules, he wasn't allowed to leave. Murdoc just laughed it off, but poor 2D was pretty uncomfortable. Hemlock's abrupt Nosebleed upon the mention of 2D in drag probably didn't help.
  • Agents Laura and Danny take down a Stu in a Left 4 Dead fic, shoot him in the knee and leave him there, with a gun just out of reach and a horde of Infected approaching... sure, the guy deserved it, but ugh...
  • Another Left 4 Dead fic involved Zoey screwing a talking Hunter called Zion. *shudders*
  • So what does Agent Lux actually do with the corpses she occasionally takes home?
  • A Stargate Atlantis mission had the author continually misspelling 'lab' as 'lad', creating a ten year old boy called the Science Lad. A late line in the fic had one of the doctors 'entering into the lad with some of his medical assistances'. Thank God Agent Thomas had a Sim Gen. Similarly, one has to feel for the Bride of Khazad-Dum; poor woman got stretched out over a chasm and had the Fellowship walk over her.
  • A malfunctioning Crash Dummy led to Agent Cadmar becoming forcibly genderbent and having horrific scars appear all over his/her back. These scars not only gave him/her horrible flashbacks, he/she was unable to so much as take a shower for fear of remembering how he/she got them in-fic.
    • This also lead to a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming-initially, the Flowers decided to leave him/her as a girl and the scars as punishment for the mismanagement that lead to the clusterfuck that was the mission. However, when Miah brought up the sheer trauma of the scars, the Sunflower Official decided to remove them without hesitation. Keep in mind that the Flowers are regularly portrayed as the most stubborn and irritable beings in the universe, so partially reversing a decision is a monumental action for them.
  • Agent Ally nonchalantly coming up with new and interesting ways to kill a regenerating mini-Sue, especially as she does so without turning a hair at the fact that she's repeatedly killing a sentient being.
  • Agent Stormsong's origin (and Skyfire's, too). Ithalond's origin is probably worse, though. Poor guy.
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