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HOORAY FOR POKEY!!!!

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Pokey The Penguin is an absurdist Web Comic created by Steve Havelka (aka "The Authors"), crudely drawn using MS Paint (or something similar). Irregularly updated since 1998, it chronicles the (mis)adventures of a bunch of penguins living in the Arctic, along with other creatures that usually don't live there, either. Oh, and a very British snowman. Everybody speaks in ALL CAPS.

In the first strip, Pokey The Penguin is described as "AN EDUCATIONAL CHILDRENS CARTOON!" in which "POKEY AND HIS PALS HAVE FUN AND LEARNING ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF THE ARCTIC CIRCLE!".

The main recurring characters are Pokey (the titular penguin), "little girl" (Pokey's little sister), Mr. Nutty (the ever scheming British snowman), Headcheese (a french-canadian female penguin, sometimes Pokey's "girlfriend", sometimes a victim of his random acts of violence), Skeptopotamus (a skeptical hippopotamus that denies being one), Gustavo (a mexican potato with long, prehensile moustaches named "Democracy" and "Stalin"), and the Italians, which often come to the Arctic in their ships to steal the penguins' "Arctic Circle-Candy". There's also a boxing glove (apparently posessed by the devil) appearing at random to deliver a flying punch to someone.

Most of the secondary characters are penguins identical to Pokey. A bear is depicted as a brown penguin, a dinosaur as a green one, and the devil as a red one with horns. Even "little girl" and Headcheese are just smaller Pokeys with ribbons. While, for example, Stephen Hawking is depicted as a penguin wearing a wizard's hat, and Superman is another penguin with a blue cape, others, like Batman and "Bobdole" are completely indistinguishable from Pokey. There are also variations of other characters, like Old Man Nutty (Mr. Nutty's grandfather, a smaller, gray-outlined snowman) and Nostrapotamus (a Skeptopotamus with a wizard's hat).

Pokey the Penguin also made appearances as an Easter Egg in Hitman: Contracts and Hitman: Blood Money.


Pokey the Penguin contains examples of the following:

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 Little Girl: "POKEY I HAVE FIRED UP THE TIME CANOE!!"

Pokey: "[1]"

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  WHO TOLD YOU TO STOP WRITING YOUR RESEARCH PAPER???

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  Little Girl: "POKEY IF YOU ARE SAD THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE A DRINK!!!!"

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  Chicken Delicious: "POKEY LET'S RELAX [2]"

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 Pokey: "[3]"

Grampa: "LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!!!"

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  Pokey: "WITH A FEW SMALL MODIFICATIONS, ANY CANOE CAN TRAVEL THROUGH TIME!!!"

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