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"[AN: I donut own this spongebob thiny. dis is just a fanfic OK!]"
—Opening to One Less Lonely Gurl

One Less Lonely Gurl by Monica Gilbey-Bieber is an infamous SpongeBob SquarePants trollfic.

C'ren Amethyst Le Heart-Bieber is an 18-year-old marine biologist who was tasked to gather some specimen of coral reef on an ordinary day, and when she dove into the waters, she found an exceptionally huge coral reef that actually contains a portal to the world of Spongebob Squarepants, where the characters have actually been turned into humans.

The plot centers more around Justin Bieber more than Spongebob himself. C'ren is then revealed to be a crazy, delusional person with plans to rule the world and have Justin to herself forever, using her discovery of this new universe as a front for her plan by injecting mind-control serum into all the patties and destroying all rival food sources, leaving everyone with no choice but to eat the infected patties. Aside from that, she wants to avenge herself from past of abuse.

This fic has been said to be the preppy equivalent of My Immortal because of their similarities, including a Justin Bieber concert, horrible grammar and spelling, Canon Defilement, rude author's notes, and music genre bashing.

A partial repost can be found in the author's official Blogspot page with commentary from the author himself. Also, a full version can be found here, reposted by the author himself.


One Less Lonely Gurl contains examples of:

  • All Just a Dream: The whole thing was just a crazy dream by a hooker in Russia.
  • Alternate Universe: The fanfic is a story within a story which is set in an alternate universe which also turns out to be a dream. That explains why everyone is out of character.
  • Author Appeal: Plankton hating rock music (though at least one episode proved that wrong), almost if not all of Bikini Bottom liking Justin Bieber, Bieber himself showing up in the fanfic and dating C'ren... basically the whole fanfic is made of this trope. This was subverted altogether when the author revealed that his true personality and appearance are the polar opposite of Monica's.
  • Author Avatar: C'ren is blatantly a perfected (and even more deranged) version of the author's alter-ego Monica.
  • Author Filibuster: There are 'chapters' with rude author's notes that are longer than the chapter itself.
  • The Bermuda Triangle: In this fanfic, it is said that C'ren found the coral reef with a portal to the SpongeBob SquarePants universe in the Bermuda Triangle. According to C'ren, this might explain why ships and aircraft mysteriously disappear: those who disappeared are now inhabitants of Atlantis, where Bikini Bottom is found. However, Human!Spongebob explains that aircraft and ships disappear because of the sins of land humans, thus forbidding them to enter the underwater utopia of Atlantis. Instead, the land humans end up disappearing.
  • Bizarrchitecture: Human!Spongebob still lives in a pineapple in this fanfic.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: C'ren attempting to explain to Plankton that they are all figments of the imagination of a marine biologist named Stephen Hillenburg.
  • Chemistry Can Do Anything: The potion that will allow Bieber to breathe underwater and the mind control serum made of the saliva of a rabid snail.
  • Curse Cut Short: Word of God confirms that when C'ren introduced herself to Human!Spongebob, she was about to say that she wished to be related to Justin Bieber because he is a major fucking hottie. However, Human!Spongebob interrupted her when he told her that Justin Bieber is the biggest star in all of Atlantis.
  • Dream Within a Dream: In Chapter 5, C'ren was having a nightmare. The whole story was just a dream.
  • Fictional Document: The whole thing, including the fact that Kataryna Simovitch (C'ren's real name) was just dreaming about being C'ren, is just a book that a fictional author as an entry for the (fictional) annual Worst Piece of Literature contest being held in the universe where Plankton's Eye View is being held. Plankton's Eye View starts with Plankton actually reading this fanfic.
  • GIRL: Monica Gilbey-Bieber's real name is James.
  • In Name Only: With the characters getting humanized except for Karen and Sandy, having name changes, and acting Out of Character for a decent chunk of it, it's sometimes hard to tell that it's really a Spongebob story.
  • Lethal Chef: Plankton and C'ren when she infects all the Krabby Patties with mind-control serum.
  • Out of Character: Basically all the canon characters in this fanfic are this. Plankton seems to be an exception to this.
  • The Power of Rock: Word of God says that this is the true motive of C'ren's half-brother of making C'ren listen to rock music; to alleviate her pain. However, C'ren took it the wrong way and instead interpreted rock music as one of the main reminders of her misery.
  • Purple Prose: Seen in the first few chapters, in the physical description of C'ren and the portal that leads to Bikini Bottom.
  • Rape Is the New Dead Parents: This fanfic actually combines both. In the fifth chapter, C'ren was having a flashback of her past through a nightmare where she narrates about her father cheating on his true wife, and that she is the daughter of the other woman who died giving birth to her. The insane wife then commanded her half-brother to rape her.
  • Real Person Fic: Bieber appearing in the story.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Chapters 1 to 4 were filled with these, and the more notable one, 'do not' vs. 'donut' has been lampshaded in a later chapter's author's note, the logo of the rehost site, and the dislaimer in the rehost site.
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful: C'ren and Justin Bieber. The rules of the universe where this fanfic was held clearly state that land humans are not allowed in Atlantis because of their sins. Justin Bieber and C'ren, instead of suffering whatever the consequences of trespassing are, end up becoming celebrities instead. Justin Bieber was able to go back up to the land to continue his tour (thus writing him out of the story) despite the fact that land humans are supposed to disappear once they pass the Bermuda Triangle. This was lampshaded by C'ren when she asked Human!Spongebob why Justin Bieber is famous underwater.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: Spongebob had to explain that C'ren wasn't his girlfriend even though he had her stay over at his house for the night.
  • Shout-Out: Word of God also confirms that there are a few My Immortal shoutouts in this story, such as the part where C'ren describes the inside of the coral reef as ebony darkness and says that she's not related to Justin Bieber. There is also a Linkin Park shoutout in the same chapter.
  • Take That: The author's notes in this story, excluding the last chapter, get nastier and longer as chapters progress.
  • Troll Fic: The author himself has already confirmed this in the last chapter.
  • Villain Protagonist: C'ren (and, to a certain extent, Plankton) becomes this much later in the story, turning SpongeBob, Pearl, Mr. Krabs and even Fred the Fish into Hero Antagonists of sorts.
  • Wrench Wench: C'ren when she dismantled the engines of Justin Bieber's submarine and when she created K3N, a new computer wife for Plankton.
  • Yandere: C'ren for Bieber. Her father's true wife as well.
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