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The story centres around Emeraldia Brightmoon who is said in a prophecy from Toad God is the only kunoch able to defet the Acutesushi. It Gets Worse from there. The plot, if there even is one, is mostly a Random Events Plot.
A dramatic reading can be found here
This Fic Contains Examples Of:
- Abnormal Ammo: The Sand-nin apparently have a "squid cannon"...or something.
- Amoral Attorney: Apollo Justice, because he supposedly killed Might Guy and is one of the five most evil people in the world, according to Madara.
- Artistic License Law: When you have a "hart attic", it isn't murder. However, Anko was murdered by Mello, but there's no way Silvette could know this.
- Big Bad Ensemble: Danzo, Darkeye, Apollo Justice, and Madara.
- Big Damn Heroes: Shino saving Emeraldia from Klank (aka Kankuro)).
- Big No: Jiraiya and Prince Gecko each deliver one in Chapter 6.
- Bishie Sparkle: Emeraldia, in chapter one. It's never mentioned again.
- Blatant Lies: The story informs us that Emeraldia is the nicest girl in the Leaf Village right after she kills Butter Kid for no reason.
- The Chosen One: Emeraldia is the only one who "can defet the evil Madaira and Acatsuke"
- Crossover: A gender-bent Mello from Death Note makes an appearance, having once lived at "Wham Hose" until "Korey" burned it down. "Tom Henks" and "Ful Meatl Alchromust" are in Konan's evil army.
- Curb Stomp Battle: Most of Emeraldia's fights, but especially her fight with Naruto's Rival Gary (AKA Gaara) in which he stood up, she used a water jutsu and he died. Amusingly, however, this passage follows the fight
- Dear Negative Reader: In almost every chapter after the first.
- Determinator: An Akatsuki member named Ted breaks his jaw, but ignores it because he is evil.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Emeraldia kills Might Guy for peeping on her.
- She later kills Butter Kid for doing absolutely nothing.
- The Dragon: Konan to Madara, as opposed to Pain in canon.
- Even the Girls Want Her: Emeraldia.
- Face Heel Turn: Sakura.
- Flat Wut: Gaara's reaction to hearing Sasori of The "Rad" Sand attacked the Hidden Leaf Village.
- Freudian Slip: Any time "Sue" slips in, especially when Tsunade is talking to Emeraldia.
- Frickin' Laser Beams: Both Dye and Sasori's puppet have the ability to shoot them.
- Itachi can shoot them from... his floor.
- Friend to All Living Things: Emeraldia prevents a lion from eating her with her beauty.
- Gender Bender: Mello from Death Note.
- Human Resources: Fire Dad's corpse was found near the ramen shop, so it was ground up into ramen.
- In Name Only: The only traits the characters have from canon are their village affiliations and positions.
- Katanas Are Just Better: Sakura wields a katana.
- Kill It with Water: How Emeraldia defeats Gaara.
- Meaningful Funeral: One is held for Might Guy.
- Only Sane Man: Mary Sue.
Mary Sue:"No, I did not feed your lion. Lions are not pets. They are dangerous animals, and I don't want to lose a limb because you were stupid enough to adopt one."
Emeraldia: "Jefff wood neber hert me!"
Mary Sue:"Yes, but I'm not you, am I? You could walk up to the Akatsuki leader and he would immediately start calling you his dream princess. I'm an ordinary person, and probably the only one in this town! Honestly, when I graduate from Ninja Academy I'm moving to a place where the people have sense!"
- Original Character: Emeraldia, Jeff, R Teach, Y Teach, J Teach, X Teach, Butter Kid, Brown Boris, Ted, Dye, Osher Bosher, Luna, Fire Dad, Silvette, Darkeye, etc.
- Parody Sue: Emeraldia, certainly.
- Product Placement: Apollo Justice's hideout is at Burger King.
- Rapunzel Hair: Emeraldia's "wast" length hair.
- Redundancy Department of Redundancy: "loudly yelled loudly", among others.
- Rouge Angles of Satin
- So Beautiful It's a Curse: Averted, which is odd considering the nature of the main character and the story.
- Spell My Name with an "S": Gaara is almost never spelled correctly. The worst offender is probably in Chapter Fib when it's spelled as Mario.
- It gets pretty bad with Kankuro, too, to the point where it's sometimes almost impossible to tell whether the story is talking about him at all. "Klank" is actually one of the better attempts. And it doesn't help that the apparent Original Character "Brown Boris" seems essentially interchangeable with Kankuro, given how he's listed alongside Temari and later succeeds Gaara as Kazekage.
- Sakura is another frequent example in how many ways it's spelled, how often it changes, and how different the spellings are from each other and the actual name.
- The Phonics
- Trailers Always Lie: The summary mentions a Love Triangle between Emeraldia, Sasuke and Naruto, but Sasuke doesn't appear until the end of Chatter Fib.
- Troll Fic: Almost certainly. The character of Mary Sue speaking in perfect English and not being a Mary Sue despite being called Mary Sue indicates that the author knows what a Mary Sue is, therefore is almost definitely a troll.
- And some of the spelling mistakes are just too perfect to be accidental. "Loin" instead of "lion" is almost acceptable, but "Acutesushi"? That could've been the Cupertino Effect if not for the fact that it's Acutesushi and not Acute Sushi. And the addition of completely random characters from other fandoms and a few real life people in the most recent chapters(Twilight Sparkle, Xemnas, Ichigo Kurosaki, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Adolf Hitler, Iron Man, Tom Hanks...)
- Villains Out Shopping: Danzo and Darkeye go to a movie together. However, the movie is called "How to Take Over the World".
- Weaksauce Weakness: Gaara gets washed away by water.
- Worf Had the Flu: Emeraldia only falls into the hole Sakura creates because she had to fight "six hundread seventy ate joenine on her weigh to shool".
- You Killed My Brother: Kankuro to Emeraldia.