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Film watched: Hobgoblins
"Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?"—Tom Servo
While Hobgoblins is probably not the worst movie to ever be screened on Mystery Science Theater 3000, it is one of them, and possibly the sleaziest.
Though director Rick Sloane requested that his film be featured on the show, it suffered some of the harshest riffing ever. The Mads removed the film case from the Ark of the Covenant. The bots tried to flee the theater during the opening credits. Crow set up a hotline for people traumatized by the movie. Mike and the 'bots tried to escape again by replacing themselves with cardboard cutouts in the theater and the bridge (it nearly worked, too). Crow impersonated Sloane during the end credits claiming he was "high on crack" and had "[his] brain replaced with rat droppings". Servo tried, and failed, to go back in time to prevent the movie from being made.
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode of this movie contains examples of:
Servo: "Club Scum", eh? So why are there lunch ladies back there serving tater tots?
Crow: "Yes girls, this is the only way to make your boyfriends like you."
- Cardboard Pal: Mike and the 'bots try to trick the Mads by placing cardboard cut outs of themselves in the theater, along with a tape recorder playing some poorly acted generic riffs ("That's stupid") and escaping. In the host segment, we see they did the same on the bridge. Only Observer wasn't fooled.
- During the movie's closing credits, they used another cutout for their faux interview with Rick Sloane.
- Notably, the cardboard cut-outs are based on the silhouettes of Mike and the bots that appeared on the back of Rhino VHS releases of Mystery Science Theater 3000 at the time (the "Pointing Mike" cut-out being the most obvious).
- Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: When Nick runs away from the hobgoblins, Crow riffs "Oh, Nick's in the French army, I see."
- Creator Backlash: In a surprising twist, Sloane actually brought his own work to the Brains' attention. He thought they did a good job with it, though he did take offense to their personal insults of him mentioned above.
- Disproportionate Retribution/Cool and Unusual Punishment: Pearl uses this movie to punish Mike and the 'bots for jumping on her rent-to-own furniture.
- "Get... The Movie." "Aaaagh!"
- A John Agar film festival? NooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOooooo!
- Fail O'Suckyname:
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: Lampshaded
- A Handful for An Eye: During the rake fight, Crow suggests, "Throw some Miracle Gro in his eyes!"
- Insecurity System:
Mike: "Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system but they don't lock anything?!"
Crow: So the only side effect of his complete immolation is... mild redness and irritation?
Crow: Their garden tools make little Casio sounds.
Crow: So, Mike, I learned from today's movie that Daphne was a slut, and Amy wasn't fun until she became a slut.
Mike Nelson: Well, that's the fun message of today's movie!
- Ship Tease: When Bobo calls Tom & Crow's "Hobgoblins Crisis Hotline" for advice about the crush he had on "a woman... (looks at Pearl behind him) a woman not of my species, squicking the 'Bots horribly.
- Stable Time Loop/You Can't Fight Fate: Servo's attempt to erase the existence of Hobgoblins by going back in time and kicking Rick Sloane in the shins ends up being the latter's inspiration for the movie.
- Tom explains this while dressed in a leather jacket and sunglasses while holding a machinegun; Mike explains that he thought that Tom was going to "terminate" Sloane.
"That bastard! I'm gonna go back and kill him."
Sloane: "I had never seen them rip apart any other director before on the show."
Crow: "Chord, chord, chord, chord, chord, other chord."
- ↑ (a chimpanzee named Emily)