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  • Alternative Character Interpretation:
    • It's only too easy to see the "preps" as the good guys and the "goffs" as the bad guys. After all, the "goffs" are all utter jerks and we never see the "preps" do anything to deserve the treatment they get. In particular, the fic wants us to see Britney as the Alpha Bitch and Ebony as the Cool Loser. But who's the one judging the other for how she dresses? Who's the one who sits by and takes the other's abuse without retaliating until the end? Who's the one gets followed around by a large group of friends while the other one always seems to be on her own?
    • "Dumblydore". Is he a "poser" just trying to be cool like Ebony thinks? Is he a brilliant Chessmaster Obfuscating Stupidity to manipulate Ebony into destroying "Volsemort"? Or is he just an old, senile guy who does things at random?
    • When Ebony used the Killing Curse at the end, did she aim it at Voldemort or herself?
    • Satan Bombadil Anderson: Attractive 80s goth or Time Traveling Con Man?
  • Accidental Innuendo: Whether it's actually accidental depends on whether the fic actually is a parody or not, but regular words are occasionally "accidentally" spelled wrong and turned into obscenities, e.g. "Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge" becomes "Mystery of Magic Cornelia Fuck", "Professor Slughorn" becoming "Professor Slutborn", etc.
  • Ass Pull: Many examples. At one point the characters need to find Draco (who Volfemort has bondage, whatever that means). To solve this, Vampire "has an idea" and teleports them into Voldemort's lair. Enoby whines endlessly about stuff much easier to solve than this, like choosing between Draco and Vampire
  • Bile Fascination: Seriously, this was the most popular thing on if the reviews were anything to go by.
  • Crack Pairing: Hedwig/Voldemort. [1]
  • Critical Research Failure: Tara admits that she bases some of it on the movies because she hasn't read all of the books. This is a very good way of getting Gannon Banned in Harry Potter fandom circles, but everyone's too busy laughing to care.
  • Designated Villain: Britney doesn't do anything aside from being "a fucking prep". Except in chapter 42 where it's stated by 'Proffessor Trevolry' that Britney freed Snap, Loopin and Hargrid from "Azerbaijan". How or why exactly, Trevolry (and Tara) never goes into.
  • Fetish Retardant: Pretty much the whole thing. See IKEA Erotica.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight:
  • Nightmare Fuel: A literal interpretation of many passages in this story will give you a rather disturbing mental picture. "He put his boys thingie in mine", coming from EBONY, anyone? So try to avoid literal interpretations.
  • Nightmare Retardant: Again, the chapter with the "XTREMLY SCRAY" disclaimer.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Given the first-person format of the story, we never see exactly how Britney busted Snape and Lupin out of Azkahbian/Azerbaijan/Afghanistan.
  • Romantic Plot Tumor: Most of the plot is focused on a Vampire/Ebony/Draco Love Triangle. Even Voldemort forcing Ebony to kill "Vampire" is treated as though it were simply a complication to all the romantic drama.
  • Sequelitis: The original is considered by some to be So Bad It's Good, but most of the parody sequels are just plain painful. No matter how hard many may try, none can match Ms. Gilesbie's literary... um, achievement.
  • Snark Bait: Possibly more so than anything else on this wiki, even Twilight.
  • So Bad It's Good: The main reason to read it is to laugh your ass off at how terrible it is.
  • Thirty-Sue Pileup: Let us count the ways...
    • Mary Sue: Ebony. Just... Ebony. Tara denies it (despite many noticeable Freudian slips in which other characters refer to Ebony as "Tata" "Tara" and "TaEbory"), and responds to her preppy haters with this:

 I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!

    • Parody Sue: Depends on whether Gilesbie's a troll or not -- if so, one of the best examples.
    • Possession Sue: Draco just reeks of this.
    • Relationship Sue: From the first chapter, Enoby leeches onto Draco and never lets go.
    • Sympathetic Sue: Ebony constantly whines about how hard her life is.
    • Jerk Sue: She has quite the potty mouth and spends a lot of time yelling at everybody, insulting her friends for no reason, and on occasion laughing at others' misfortunes. But everybody still wants to be around her.
    • Anti-Sue: She seems weak and useless...
    • God Mode Sue: ...until she kills Voldermort.
    • Villain Sue: Ebony can be interpreted this way.
    • Fixer Sue: No, Harry, you're supposed to be bisexual! And a goth vampire!
    • Black Hole Sue: The entire castle and all its residents are distorted to fit Ebony's views of the world.
    • About the only form of Mary Sue which Ebony doesn't fit is Purity Sue/Mary Sue Classic. And even there, she never "soils" herself by having sex with another female despite her claims that she's bi, and she's quick to tell us that because she's a girl she didn't get an erection, you sickos. She's also a valiant fighter for Truth, Justice, and the Goth Way, and will defend the world against the preps with her dying breath -- which in the world of Tara Gillespie almost makes her a paladin of Incorruptible Pure Pureness.
  • Wangst: Ebony's constant whining. And this gem from Draco:

 "No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.

  • What an Idiot!: Ebony/Enoby, despite being told that Draco and Harry were a couple long before Draco put his boy's thingy in hers, insists on believing that Draco cheated on her. About a paragraph later she has a "brainstorm" and wonders if Draco and Harry dated before she started dating Draco. Whether this is genuine stupidity on Enoby's part, or the result of Tara forgetting what she just wrote, we may never know.


  1. Well, human!male!Hedwig/young!Voldemort at least.
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