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- Manny tries to impress a girl the entire episode to no avail. Then, he saves her from a deflating moonbounce and THEN goes back in to save her balloon animal. THEN he tells the camera that she called him three times that night and he thinks she is smothering him.
- "This is one clown who's going to KICK YOUR ASS!"
- Haley's Batman Gambit to win the "no electronics" contest. She really isn't as dumb as she seems.
- Successfully pulling an Indy Ploy Karma Houdini after Alex catches her dead to rights faking having a job.
- Cameron's "the sticks were in the wrong hands" drum solo.
- Cameron's big speech to the football team after just becoming the new coach, after having struggled as a supply teacher for the whole episode...while cosplaying as one of America's presidents! Cameron Tucker for the win!
- Gloria sandbagging Jay's attempt to get out of a shopping day with Pepper.
- Phil confronting Jay about his constant deriding of Phil's masculinity, saying he's proven it many times over, and if Jay still has a problem that Phil married his daughter, that's on him.
- Made so much better by Jay finally giving Phil a nod of respect when he wasn't looking.
- Phil walking a tightrope seven feet off the ground - his reasoning? He now has more than one way of crossing the driveway!
- When Claire unintentionally exposes that Jay tried to get rid of Phil by anonymously recommending him for a job in another state, Jay turning it all on her head by verbally remembering the time she anonymously called immigration on Gloria.
- Alex tearing down the Christmas tree salesman when he (supposedly) insulted Mitchell.
- Mitchell tackling the guy who stole Haley's money.
- Alex: "You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are going to work for my fans."
- Luke's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Haley and Alex about how they're both equally bad sisters.
- Luke and Phil guilt-tripping the realtor who stole Phil's listing.
- Gloria wrecking Haley's plan for a degenerate party while also getting Manny to loosen up. "Two birds, one bullet."
- Almost everything Jay does in the Disneyland episode.