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People say it's quite unlikely
The two of us should stick
But I just tell them,
"Hey! It's me and my Dick."

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From Team Starkid, the creators of A Very Potter Musical and Little White Lie, Me and My Dick is about a boy, Joey Richter and his Dick, Dick. Joey apparently lives in a Universe where people can talk to their body parts, and as a teenaged boy he naturally mainly listens to his Dick. Joey pines for Vanessa, the most beautiful Jew girl at his school, while not noticing that his best friend Sally is head over heels for him. Things seem to be looking up for him when Vanessa breaks up with her long-time boyfriend and invites him over to her house to "study." However, when he gives Sally a tight hug, Dick is introduced to Sally's Miss Cooter and it's Love At First Sight. Now Dick can't get it up for anyone but Miss Cooter and it puts Joey and Dick in a rough patch.

The musical ran from the 29th to the 31st of October, 2009, at a student theatre on the University of Michigan campus. It was posted to YouTube in its entirety on November 12, and the soundtrack was released for purchase via iTunes on March 9, 2010. The soundtrack debuted at #11 on Billboard's Top Cast Albums chart a week later. Yeah, you read that right. And for point of reference, also in the top 15 for that week were Cast Recordings for Avenue Q, Mary Poppins, Mamma Mia!, Annie, Hair (theatre), The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King and Wicked. According to Billboard's new website, Team StarKid "are awaiting word if Me and My Dick will be selected for inclusion in the upcoming New York International Fringe Festival."


The main characters are:

  • Joey Richter (Joey Richter)- A normal (if slighty awkward) teenage boy. He is best friends with his Dick. His best human friend is his neighbor Sally, whom he is Oblivious to Love. He has a crush on Vanessa.
  • Dick (Joe Walker)- Joey's penis, he is the embodiment of a teenaged boy's libido: crass, emotional, and sex-obsessed. He does have a sweet side to him though, as shown through his feelings for Joey and Miss Cooter.
  • Sally (Jaime Lyn Beatty) - Joey's neighbor and best friend. She is desperately in love with Joey but to shy to say anything to him. She too is awkward and considered a nerd in their high school.
  • Miss Cooter (Devin Lytle)- Sally's vagina. A Southern Belle with long, flowing hair (it works somehow!), Miss Cooter is young, beautiful, and cares deeply for Sally. She meets and falls for Dick and goes on a journey to find him again.
  • Vanessa (Ali Gordon)- The "hot little Jewish girl" that Joey has a major crush on. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend Rick...until she hears he cheated on her. Now she's on the rebound!
  • Flopsy (Brian Holden)- Vanessa's vagina who, unlike Vanessa, is happy to be single again as she's "sick of penises".
  • Tiffany (Alle-Faye Monka)- Vanessa's Dumb Blonde best friend who Really Gets Around. No, seriously, she Really Gets Around. Despite her stupidity she does care about Vanessa and tries to help her out.
  • The Old Snatch (Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia) - Tiffany's vagina who has long since lost her youth and looks due to Tiffany's hard partying and active sex life. She is jaded by penises, remembering her long lost love, her first time. She bonds with Miss Cooter.
  • Heart (A.J. Holmes)- Joey's heart who tries to get Joey to follow his advice rather then Dick's. He is a hopeless romantic, over the top and emotional.
  • Big T (Corey Dorris) - The head of the Land of the Lost Dicks, he helps Dick out...or so it seems.
  • Weenie (Arielle Goldman) - A "pocket-sized" penis who is part of the Land of the Lost Dicks.

Tropes used in Me and My Dick include:
  • Adaptation Expansion: The original play was called 'The Penis Play' and was performed about a year before this version. It completely lacked the Land of the Dicks sub-plot.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: In the opening scene no less. Later Vanessa and Flopsy imply they're about to.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Up until near the end the only two who seem mutually interested in each other are Dick and Miss Cooter...and even then she briefly believes he's cheating on her.
  • Analogy Backfire: A particularly epic one in Act 1 Part 8:
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Joey's Heart: "What do all of history's greatest lovers have in common? Romeo and Juliet! Anthony and Cleopatra! Jack Dawson and Kate Winslet's character!
Joey: "All the guys die horribly first."
Joey's Heart: "Uh eh- BAD EXAMPLE. How about Spider-Man and Mary Jane?"
Joey: "Oh yeah they worked out PERFECTLY."

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Heart: Joey, you... you stinker, you! You are, you are fatty! Joey, look at me when you cry! You are fatty!

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  • Anthropomorphic Personification: One of the major conceits of the play. The body parts even have real names (the Old Snatch is Gladys, Flopsy is Myrtle, etc.).
  • Beta Couple: A lovely example of the Beta couples actually being important to the plot, Joey and Sally can only get together with both their hearts and Dick and Miss Cooter paired up. Big T and The Old Snatch also count.
  • The Big Damn Kiss: Joey and Sally
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Hearts are wonderful... until you break them.
  • Brainless Beauty: Tiffany
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: A quiet one by Dick in Act 2 Part 1
  • Butt Monkey: Joey and Sally. To the point that there's a character who is called "The Kid That Hates Joey".
  • Cast Incest: Subversion. A lot of viewers were squicked out by Joey Richter and Jamie Lyn Beatty playing a couple due to them having last played brother and sister, Ron and Ginny, in A Very Potter Musical.
  • Catch Phrase: "That's me, the Old Snatch."
  • Character Development: Joey Richter, and Sally to only a slightly lesser extent.
  • Creator In-Joke: "O'Douls", the brand of beer that Joey and Vanessa drink, is part of an injoke among the Team Starkid crew.
    • For the non-Americans who aren't familiar with the brand, O'Douls is a terrible-tasting non-alcoholic beer.
  • Crosscast Role: Pretty much everyone at some point, since the company all dress up as pussies and/or dicks.
  • The Danza: Joey Richter as Joey Richter
  • The Ditz: Tiffany
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: In this part of MAMD where three dicks are competing to become Joey's, what Weenie says to Joey really makes it sound as if they're all going to gang-rape him:
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Weenie: And you! You are for us, motherfucka! And we all gonna take turns on your mushy, sorry body! And because I'm in charge, I'm gonna go first.

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The Old Snatch: "Tiffany, doll, I love ya, but you are the dumbest fuckin' person I've ever met in my entire life."

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Miss Cooter: "I'm all aflutter in the gutter, if you know what I mean."

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Joey: "Wow, the Nine of Hearts!"
Joey's Heart: "That's right, the King of Hearts!"

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    • And Joey, once he starts listening to his Heart.
  • Long Hair Is Feminine: Parodied. One of the things Dick really likes about Miss Cooter is her "long, flowing hair." Joey responds with a dumbfounded "On her vagina? It works somehow, though.
  • Love At First Sight: Err, touch.
  • Manly Tears: Or... not-so-manly tears.
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Sally: Nobody can come in to the choir room yet because JOEY RICHTER IS CRYING IN HERE!

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  • Massive Multiplayer Ensemble Number: "Ready to Go".
  • Matzo Fever: Joey has it for Vanessa, the "hot little Jewish girl".
  • Mood Whiplash: Joey crying in the choir room. The bit where Heart humorously attempts to commit suicide ("I'm going to squeeze my left carotid artery, Joey") is the funniest suicide attempt ever, and then thirty seconds later, Heart gives up, wailing, "I'm--I'm broken!" and falling to the floor with Joey sobbing next to him. Cue "Awwwww" from the audience.
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Joey: Oh, Sally, it hurts so much...

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    • And then, directly after this:
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Joey: Look at me, it's like... It's like I'm crying! These tears keep coming out and I just wann'em to go back it, it's like I'm crying! I'm CRYING! UGH!

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  • Nature Abhors a Virgin:
    • Joey, who desperately tries to lose his virginity because of this stigma.
    • The Pussy Council does not allow Miss Cooter to speak because no one with a hymen intact is allowed to. [1]
  • Noodle Implements: Sally's proposed science project.
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Sally: ...AND IT'S ONLY WHEN THE SILVER AND THE NITROGEN FIND ALL THREE OXYGEN MOLECULES THAT THEY'RE ABLE TO SOLVE THE CASE!!!

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Notes

  1. Note that an intact hymen is not always a sign that someone is a virgin. Then again, one vagina can probably tell the status of another's virginity either way.
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