Farm-Fresh balanceYMMVTransmit blueRadarWikEd fancyquotesQuotes • (Emoticon happyFunnyHeartHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3Awesome) • RefridgeratorFridgeGroupCharactersScript editFanfic RecsSkull0Nightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out iconShout OutMagnifierPlotGota iconoTear JerkerBug-silkHeadscratchersHelpTriviaWMGFilmRoll-smallRecapRainbowHo YayPhoto linkImage LinksNyan-Cat-OriginalMemesHaiku-wide-iconHaikuLaconic


Max Payne

  • This little gem from Part One, Chapter Four: "Live From the Crime Scene":

 Max Payne [over a phone]: We come to you now live from the crime scene.

Jim Bravura: Who is this?

Max Payne: Right back at you.

Jim Bravura:This is Deputy Chief Jim Bravura from the NYPD. You are to cease your criminal activities and surrender immediately.

Max Payne [surrounded by corpses he killed a minute ago]: Sure thing, Jim! Me and the boys been talking, and everyone's REAL sorry. They'll never do it again.

Jim Bravura: Who the hell is this?

Max Payne [narrating]: Being placed at the scene of a bank robbery wouldn't have tipped the odds in my favor.

  • Also from the first game, when Vladimir meets up with Max.

 Vlad: Bang! You're dead Max Payne.

Max: Whats this supposed to be, 'Cops And Robbers'? Look, if you want something with me get in line.

 Mook 1: Red, blue or green?

Mook 2: In the movies, it's always red or blue.

Mook 1: So, green?



    • Right afterwards, going up to the door next to where the bomb was, finding it to be locked, and right afterwards the entire wall around it falling down into the next room, with only the door still standing.

Max Payne 2

  • The Dearest Of All My Friends show during Max's post-escort-mission dream in part three is surreal, horrific, and downright hilarious, especially considering what is written on the wall.
  • Also from the second game, early on, you find out the cleaners have been spying on you; when you listen to wiretapped phone conversations, one is Bravura trying to talk Max into going to AA, while another is Max calling a phone sex hotline, and being, well, Max.
  • In the police station, you can hear a really bizarre murder case:

 Cop: We found you out of it on V, covered in blood, burying the pieces of your wife and the pizza guy under a rosebush in the backyard. There’s a bloody chainsaw in the bathtub, and by the looks of it, they had been shot in your bed. The murder weapons have your prints all over them, and you say you didn’t do it.

The perp has this insane conspiracy theory going, claiming his wife and the pizza guy were in on it and setting him up as a fall guy. The cop snarks his way through the questioning, eventually saying:

 Cop: Your wife and the pizza guy deviously conspire to set you up, they kill themselves in your bed with your gun, proceed to chop each other to pieces with your chainsaw, and finally lure you to the backyard, where they patiently wait under the rosebush to inject you with V, and when you are helpless, they leak blood all over you and call the police. Anything to add?

  • Six words: Vinnie Gognitti in the mascot suit. The entire concept of him slipping into the squeaky mascot suit of a cartoon figure he just happens to be idolising that was given to him by his arch-nemesis, Vlad, and then finding it to be booby-trapped with a massive bomb and then has to be evacuated from his own headquarters by no one other than Payne himself is just as insanely obscure as it insanely hilarious. Still, the way he ends up dying in it is more than sobering.
  • Lords And Ladies is a costume drama series that is so painfully hammy and sappy (deaths via 'rapier-under-the-armpit' impalement count as a dramatic climax), so horrendously scripted (most of the dialogue just consists of "my lord!" as well as "my ladeh!") and so cheesily casted (the evil matriarch is played by Sam Lake in drag bearing a permanent devious smile) that it hardly ever fails to put a smile on a player's face.

Max Payne 3

  • Towards the end of the game, when Max is in a firefight in an airport, if a mook manages to throw a grenade at you Max will sarcastically wonder "How did they get that past the TSA?"
  • One of the television clues show a news report where apparently Max has been blamed for the office building blowing up. They then show an artist's sketch, Max's constipated looking face from the first game.
  • Speaking of the constipated face, one of the skins you can use in the game's Arcade mode is "Old School Max", which is Max from the very first game.
    • Beating the Story Mode on Old School difficulty, you think that your reward is a simple achievement/trophy? No, Rockstar does one better with another blast from the past, namely a fully rendered and rigged skin of Max Payne's character model from Max Payne Advanced (the Game Boy Advance port of the first game) in all his pixellated glory.
  • One of the hidden "Clues" involves Max running into an American tourist at the favela strip joint/brothel. Said tourist unintentionally hints that the prostitutes he was "enjoying" may have been a bit underaged. Max's subtle yet harsh reaction of disgust is priceless.
    • And doesn't end there. Later, at the UFE police station. He encounters him again (another "Clue" you can find), only this time, he's locked up in a cell. Max, to say the least, doesn't mind letting him rot in there.
  • When it comes to bullet time and multiplayer, watching everyone flopping around everywhere like a fish is a hilarious spectacle.


  • Sometimes the mooks can be heard having conversations with one another. Waiting to kill them until they finish talking is often worth a chuckle.

2008 Live-Action Film

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.