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Original Characters

Commander Badass

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 "I can pretty much guarantee the guy with the loudest mouth is th' one with the most issues deep down."

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A US Navy TiALS (Time Air Land Sea) operative from the future who now operates a temp agency for ludicrously macho guys. Claims to have been synthesized from American soil and steak. Divorced, with two kids (Sammy and June). He's friends with Jonesy, a mentor to Jared, a rival of Canadian Guy, and a much less abrasive and much more patient guy than first impressions would suggest -- he believes that the key to true manliness is confidence and commitment to goals.

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Sarah "Jonesy" Jones

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 "...this whole building is buzzing with testosterone."

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A friendly woman whom the Commander introduces to the bizarre world of overly masculine but underemployed men.

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Jared Kowalski

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 "Now I understand why my mother told me to never eat $500 of Gummi Worms."

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A disgraced Pokémon trainer, kicked out of the League for allowing his Gyarados, Mr. Fish, to eat his opponents. The Commander gave him a paid internship at the temp agency (even though he meets none of the manliness requirements) because Jared makes Pokemon battles sound like something the Commander would actually enjoy watching. Is completely failing at saving up enough money to get home.

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Canadian Guy

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 "B'ahy!"

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The true face of Canadianism -- evidently all that niceness was just a ruse. Enjoys wrestling moose, drinking heavily, riding snowmobiles, and, possibly, killing dragons.

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Prominent Characters from Other Works

Mr. Fish

A Gyarados. Not very bright, but very large. Follows Jared's every whim.

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Sten

A stoic qunari warrior often teased for his love of cookies. Might be a big fan of Heavy Metal.

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Kratos

A sullen, violent Spartan who isn't adjusting well to civilian life. Has no trouble getting dates, though.

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Duke Nukem

A loudmouthed action hero with hidden insecurities and, apparently, a life-size Alien maquette in his living room.

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Marv

A big, burly, black & white lug, who has trouble with women.

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