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- The webcomic Journey to the Eye part 1. It's not easy to find a good guide to travel in a Death World...
- Dark Discoveries part 1. Don't butt into Tezzeret's business; he doesn't like it.
Cards are not popular just for their effects, brokenness or artwork. Many cards find their ways into players' hearts because the Flavor Text accompanying the card ties everything together and is often hilarious.
The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest.
"Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flame, someone wanted you to." --Chandra Nalaar
"Yes, I think ‘toast' is an appropriate description." --Jaya Ballard, task mage
"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." --Jaya Ballard, task mage
"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire." --Jaya Ballard, task mage
"I said 'pick his brain," not 'tear off his head.'"
"Everybody but me--CHARGE!"
They certainly are.
The correct answer to a barbarian's riddle is to choke on your own cleverness and die.
- Any quote related to goblins is bound to be this. Just to name a few:
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.
The more victims he kills, the more likely he is to get the right one.
"Throw rocks at 'em! Throw spears at 'em! Throw Furt at 'em!"
"There's a goblin sneaking up on you."
"Species XR 17 feeds upon the mental energies of its victims. This explains why the goblins remain unaffected."
"The goblin word for "flying" is more accurately translated as "falling slowly."
"Rauck-Chauv's like a holiday! Only it isn't on the calendars, and instead of dancing you knock people flat, and instead of giving gifts you break stuff."
"So he's got a sword. Big deal."
"Yeah it's a big deal--it's a big sword!"
"Just look at him, groveling on all fours! What a pathetic--uh-oh."
"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"So shouldn't we—"
Squee bounced up and down. "I sees a horsey, an' a piggy, an' a—"
"If you don't shut up," hissed Mirri, "you'll see a kidney and a spleeny."
"Garl, adjust the slurry dispensers. Garl, fetch more corpses. Garl, quit crying and give me your brain tissue. If he doesn't stop being so rude, I'm quitting."
- Gorilla Titan's flavor text was on both the "most liked Odyssey flavor text" and "most hated Odyssey flavor text" lists.
"I want a banana this big!"
In addition to killing peasants, punishing subordinates, and raising an army of nightmares, Braids somehow found time for her favorite hobby: petty extortion.
"Course he ran! I wouldn't want to stare down that barrel, either!" --Alaborn Soldier
Much to Multani's chagrin, Rofellos gleefully tutored Yavimaya's elves on the rudest and most vulgar words spoken in Llanowar.
Tournament Play and other meta humor
- During the launch party for Unglued (the joke set that makes fun of Magic itself), Mark Rosewater took the role of a judge...while wearing a chicken suit. He wore a donkey suit for the release of the sequel set, Unhinged. On a related note, Mark also made a list of his favorite funny quotes from the players at the Unglued launch party, found Here (at the end).
- Anytime you and your friends play a game of Magic where Unglued or Unhinged is included. Anytime. Just an example: