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  • Machete jabbing a mook in the neck with a thermometer = not funny. Whole house explodes and mook is hurled outside burning = not funny. Thermometer still in mook's neck and going up till it's all red = funny.
  • One of Booth's security guards, confronted for the second time by Machete wielding a weaponized weedwhacker, immediately says "I quit," hands his gun to Machete, and walks away. Possibly he is the smartest Mook in the history of fiction.
    • This is after that Mook, alongside a more cluelees Mook, allowed Machete to visit Booth's home earlier in the movie:

 Clueless Mook: Hey, who are you?

Machete (holding up a mean pick axe and weedwhacker): New gardener.

  • Pretty much everything Cheech Marin says as Padre.

 Padre: It's not safe for you to be here.

Machete: I'm not looking for safe.

Padre: No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here!

Padre: (Makes the Sign of the Cross) I absolve you of all your sins. (gestures to the door) Now get the FUCK out!

  • Machete don't text.
    • Except when he finally does, sending a message that makes Booth pretty much say Oh Crap.
  • One of the Mexicans barging into battle was running with an ice cream cart.
  • "Machete... will return... in... Machete Kills! And... Machete Kills Again! "
    • Now renamed to Machete Kills Again In Space!
  • "THEY JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN."
  • How about the scene where Machete jumps out of building using the intestines of the Mook he just disemboweled as a rope? Crosses the Line Twice indeed.
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