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Luke Mochrie

Phillip, the Inner Pessimist

  • Berserk Button: Shall we start? Flashbacks, contemporary romantic comedies, any time someone tries to make a case for So Bad It's Good...
  • Celibate Hero: Played with: a visit from James, the Inner Romantic ends with him saying "time to move on, before I swear off women forever".
  • The Cynic: So much so, when he opens an argument on Let Me In with the words "starting with the positive...", Ringo calls him on it.
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  "The positive? Is that word actually part of your vocabulary?"

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 Ringo: How are you so consistently frustrating?

Phillip: It's a gift. Merry Christmas.

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  • Disproportionate Retribution: Ends his side of the Clash of The Titans review with a barrel of such vivid, Gorn-y imagery regarding what the movie "deserves" to encounter on its way, Ringo is seriously worried about him.
  • Friendly Enemy: to Ringo, on their better days. Otherwise, they seem to fall into Enemy Mine territory, with the occasional slide towards Vitriolic Best Buds.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Loves being right? Check. Loves being right over Ringo in any kind of discussion? Check. Yet he seems genuinely concerned about him in Skyline.
  • No Sense of Humor: Has a hard time enjoying mainstream comedies and general escapist fare; Ringo plain dares him to have fun at several points.
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 Ringo: I think the real question is, are you happy? Let me ask you, Phil. Do you know what smiling is?

(Phillip stares at him.)

Ringo: ... did you learn anything outside of the Batman school of brooding?

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  • Scare'Em Straight: Played with. While reviewing The Rite he starts with a mundane anecdote, then drops hints about himself waking up with amnesia and body parts on his nightstand, just to show Ringo how a horror story's supposed to be told. It works.
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  "Too easy." (smirks)

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 Ringo: First off, this movie's got some really cool and colorful sets, that really help emphasize the mood of the film.

Phillip: Yeah, if the mood of the film is taking a trip thrpugh Stanley Kubrick's Chocolate Factory.

Luke: That sounds awesome.

Phillip: ...I forgot I was dealing with a simpleton.

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  Ringo: And once again, I think you need to take the flaming rod out of your urethra, and stop taking things so seriously.

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Ringo, the Inner Optimist

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  "What's wrong with you, you Mr. Sour Pants, always going to the movies wearing his sour pants, and just being... sour... pants."

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  • The Cutie
  • Heroic BSOD: He barely functions throughout the first few minutes of Skyline, without offering any real defense for the movie. By the end he's stopped trying.
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  "The movie's awful, ok? That's right! The optimist can hate! THE OPTIMIST CAN HATE!"

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  • The Idealist: Played with. He does seem to genuinely strive to see the best in most movies, but it also has to do with Pessimist Phillip playing up the critical angle, and their relationship bordering on Vitriolic Best Buds.
  • Musical Theme Naming: And he named himself. Luke tried to talk him out of it, to no avail.
  • Non Sequitur: on the average, he's quite coherent, but he does enjoy going off a tangent from time to time. Possibly as a way to taunt Phillip.
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 Phillip: Robert Sheehan, every time he says a line, I can actually hear my brain cells dying.

Ringo: What's that sound like?

Phillip: Kinda like bacon sizzling on a frying pan.

Ringo: Ooh, bacon. Man, it's been a while since I had bacon. Like, the really good kind. Like, I had some of that turkey bacon, but... I don't know. We should all get together and have brunch...

Phillip: Alright, we're getting off topic.

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 Ringo: Wretch, we're actually going to share you this week.

Wretch: You're not - propositioning me or anything, are you?

Ringo: No! No, we're just both going to use you for our own gain.

Wretch: Not making me feel much better about this.

Ringo: Our minds are - metaphorically - going to have sexual intercourse. A three-way of the mind, if that makes it easier.

Wretch: ...Let's just do this.

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Guy, the Inner Bro


Stanley, the Inner Nerd

Dave, the Inner Hipster

  • Analogy Backfire: Often. He will try and argue Skyline works as "an analogy for the horrors of Hollywood", with the aliens being big-budget movies, or My Soul To Take is actually a surreal masterpiece on par with David Lynch's work.
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 Phillip: Are you comparing Mulholland Drive to a movie in which one of the characters' main goals throughout the whole thing is to get a blowjob ?

Dave: In a sense...

Phillip: No. There is no sense.

Dave: Well, I mean, if you look at it...

Phillip: No.

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 Dave: America's trying to take over the world, like, what's up with that?

Ringo: Really? That's America's plan, is it? To take over the world with shitty movies? What the fuck are you talking about?!

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 Dave: You're missing the point, man. Was Plan 9 purposefully ironic? Troll 2? The Room? What do those movies have in common?

Phillip: You have a T-shirt for each of them?

Dave: Well, yeah. That.

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 Dave: ...did somebody say ironic?

Phillip: No. Get out of here.

Dave: Fascist.

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Wretch, the Inner Horror Fan

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  "What the FUCK! This movie is SHIT! (gets up) I'm out of here, goddammit!" (leaves the room)

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  "Another average-looking exorcism movie! Ooh, my apathy can barely be contained!"

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  • Proud to Be a Geek: hard. He'll bash with little to no regret any movie that disappoints him, even when it comes with a big name director attached (Wes Craven and My Soul to Take, for instance.)

Ralph, the Inner Serial Killer

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  Ralph: When I know there's going to be violence involved, I always, always make sure I have a bottle of lubricant and some paper towel on hand.

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Lucas, the Inner Child

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  "Megamind and that reporter probably had sex. I know what that is, you know."

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Terry, the Inner Activist

  • Soapbox Sadie: And how: the character's introduced just to comment on the (presumably) sexist and homophobic elements of a single movie.
  • Straw Feminist

Neil, the Inner Worrier

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  "They look so sharp and cold and... kinda slimy on the walls..."

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James, the Inner Romantic


Donny, the Inner Pervert

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 Phillip: I'm not a woman, but I imagine that it'd be the equivalent of saying "oh, my breasts, they're like bouncy castles in my shirt!".

Donny: Well, then ALLOW me to have a little bounce on, you know what I'm saying?

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  "I'll take what I can get, you know, I mean, some ass is better than no ass at all, he's got a pretty cute butt for a dude, you know, whatever gets me through the night."

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Scott, the Inner Musician

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