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File:LoversLane 9463.jpg


  There's no such thing as safe sex.

Lovers Lane is a Slasher Film released in 2000.

In 1986, a small town was shaken by the violent Valentine's Day hook murders of Harriet Anderson and Ward Lamson (who were married... but not to each other) in a secluded area nicknamed Lovers Lane. The double homicide was quickly pinned on a local oddball pervert named Ray Hennessey, who was placed in the nearby Meston State Hospital, under the care of Doctor Jack Grefe, half-brother of Sheriff Tom Anderson, Harriet's husband. He was also given the (rather unoriginal) nickname "the Hook".

Things are fine until Valentine's Day thirteen years later, when Ray escapes, killing an orderly and taking his old hook (which Doctor Grefe kept under glass in his office) in the process, leaving behind a newspaper clipping which implicates he will go after Doctor Grefe's teenaged daughter, Chloe. Despite news of the Hook's escape, a group of high school students (which includes Chloe, Janelle, Doug, Tim, Cathy, Bradley, Sheriff Anderson's daughter Mandy, and Ward Lamson's son and Chloe ex-boyfriend Michael) decide to spend the night up on Lovers Lane, boozing, partying and sexing it up without having to worry about anyone, since the only people who live anywhere close to the area are Old Man Yasgur and his wife.

Of course, the Hook, who is being tracked by the police (headed by Sheriff Anderson) and high school principal Penny Lamson (Michael's mother) cannot resist all this sweet young meat, especially when the children of his original victims are among it.

This film provides examples of the following tropes:

  "This fucker killed my dad! I want him dead!"

  • Jerk Jock: Tim.
  • Key Under the Doormat: Sheriff Anderson gets into the Grefe house the hard way, while Penny just uses a key she finds under the mat.

  Penny: "Maybe I should be the sheriff."

  • The Killer Becomes the Killed: Ray offing Chloe.
  • Knife Nut: Doug gets a pair of them through the thighs.
  • Little No: Janelle, when she starts hearing scratching noises while trying to wake the unconscious Doug up.
  • The Load: Doug, after his leg breaks.
  • Lucky Charms Title: Lo♥ers Lane.
  • Meganekko: Mandy.
  • Make-Out Point
  • Malevolent Masked Men: Along with hoods, the killers also have ski masks.
  • Mirror Scare: While Sheriff Anderson is looking around the Grefe house, one of the killers (presumably Ray) appears briefly in a mirror.
  • My Car Hates Me: Doug crashes it.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Grefe, pronounced like "grief".
  • Not Quite Dead: Doctor Grefe is blown up and is shot several times, but only dies when he gets hooked in the back.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: Justified, there's three killers.
  • Off with His Head: The head of Doctor Grefe's dog is found in a refrigerator.
  • Oh Crap: Chloe, when she realizes the hook handed man she's been talking to isn't her father, but Ray.
  • Parental Incest: Vaguely alluded to with Chloe and Doctor Grefe.
  • The Place
  • Playing Possum: Done by Chloe, when Tim and Doug discover her and Bradley's car. Also done by her father, after Sheriff Anderson shoots him.
  • Peek-a-Boo Corpse: A couple finding Ward and Harriet's in the opening, and Mandy finding the Yasgurs' while looking for something to barricade a door with.
  • Pool Scene: The school kind.
  • Psycho Psychologist: Doctor Grefe.
  • Reaction Shot
  • Red Herring: Ray appears to be this when Doctor Grefe and Chloe are revealed as the killers, but then it turns out he was running amok as well.
  • The Reveal:
    • Chloe went crazy after Michael dumped her, and decided to kill him and anyone who got in her way.
    • Doctor Grefe, who goes along with his daughter, was madly in love with Harriet, and killed her and Ward when she rejected his advances. He is similarly obsessed with Mandy.
    • Ray was framed by Doctor Grefe, but was violently insane anyway, and is killing independently of the Grefes.
  • Screaming Woman: The female member of the couple in the opening, upon finding Ward and Harriet's bodies, and Penny, who just stands there dumbstruck as Sheriff Anderson and Doctor Grefe fight near the end.
  • Scream Discretion Shot: Several.
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: Anna Faris lifts her shirt, but we don't get to see anything... damn.
  • The Sheriff: Tom Anderson, Mandy's father.
  • The Shrink: Doctor Grefe.
  • Sinister Scraping Sound: Done by the killers, repeatedly.
  • Slashed Throat: Every non-stabbing death.
  • Stalker Shrine: Doctor Grefe has a dual one, for both Harriet and Mandy.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: The Yasgur house, when Doctor Grefe sets off Michael's gas stove and matches booby trap.
  • Talk to the Fist: When a drunk girl at the bowling alley starts going on about how Michael is probably shitfaced and getting laid as they speak, Penny responds by punching her in the face.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: When she starts freaking out, Janelle grabs four knives.
  • Thirteen Is Unlucky: Of course the murders would start again after thirteen years.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: Michael, after smacking Doctor Grefe around with a golf club:

  "Nine iron, bitch!"

  • Title In: Valentine's Day - Thirteen Years Ago and Present Day.
  • Turn of the Millennium
  • Two-Faced: Doctor Grefe, after being blown up.
  • Urban Legends: When Doug tells everyone the Hook escaped, Janelle and Cathy (unaware of the town's history) bring up all the different legends and stories regarding him.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Doctor Grefe, upon finding Chloe's body.
  • Villainous Incest
  • The Voiceless: Ray.
  • Weapon of Choice: Regular hooks for the Grefes, and a Hook Hand for Ray.
  • Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Chloe lies in the middle of the road and pretends to be injured, and states Brad is still alive, to get Mandy and Michael to go back to Lovers Lane, where she and her father can finish them off.
  • Yandere: Chloe, who went insane and decided to kill everyone (with her father's help) after being told by Bradley that Michael wanted out of their relationship.
  • You Killed My Father
  • Your Cheating Heart: Since their bodies were found together on Lovers Lane, it was assumed Ward and Harriet were having an affair, though it's later revealed by Doctor Grefe that they weren't, he just posed the bodies like that.
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