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The Marty Stu protagonist who is Light's long-lost brother, having been raised in an orphanage in the "town" of "Whales". He uses the Royal Death Note to kill people whose names and faces he doesn't know. He dies and becomes King of the Shinigami until Sayu deposes him and he gets arrested, but uses the Everything Note to go "back in tim". He schemes to get his hands on the Anti-Life note in order to kill L for once and for all, but after he does, he ends up teaming up with L's ghost to kill Night. He tries to reclaim his title of King of the Shinigami from Sayu, but gets swept up to heaven by Blud and L. He comes back and seemingly tricks Light and L into killing each other. Loses his memory in the ending and has children with Samanther. Those children are Dark, Light, and Night, meaning the story is an endless loop. This also means he's actually the young version of Sochiro, his own father.
Tropes associated with Dark:
- The Chessmaster - Well, he wants to be.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas - "...Tell... my... mom.... I.... love............................ Her!..."
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath - For a very limited value of heroic.
- Incest Is Relative
- Improbable Aiming Skills - Would have been able to snipe Near from the top of the "Eyfal Tower", and can kill a million stormtroopers with 100,000 bullets (he misses once, but kills 100 with a single punch).
- Kavorka Man - Everyone wants to sleep with him. Everyone. EVERYONE.
- Kneel Before Zod
- Large Ham - As King of the Shinigami
- Magnificent Bastard- In-Universe, Dark proclaims himself one, even though he has all the qualities a Magnificent Bastard would not.
- Murder Is the Best Solution - Dark doesn't bother with Plans, he just "death notes" all who stand in his way.
- My Nayme Is - "Du'arq" as King of the Shinigami
- Parental Incest- As it turns out, this is justified, due to a strange Stable Time Loop situation, in which Dark becomes Soichiro and his wife Samanther becomes Light's Mom. Still... that's kinda fucked up, man.
- Plot Armor - Lampshaded when it's stated that he's in no danger from the pirate attack in Chapter 15 because he's the hero of the story.
- Story-Breaker Power - The Royal Death Note, which can kill anyone, even people whose face or name you don't know, and the Everything Note, which can do everything. Only Plot Induced Stupidity and several other countermeasures prevent it from being used to full effect.
- Take That- Towards TV Tropes.
- Villain Protagonist - It's stated that he's all but completely evil, but still is the hero of the story.
Dark's Shinigami. Has apparently become the King of the Shinigami and likes eating blood bananas, which are poisonous to anyone other than the King. Has a habit of talking in all caps, and switching sides at a drop of a hat, and even more quickly revealing that those switches were fake. He is killed by Dark upon his ascension to King of the Shinigami, but gets better.
Tropes associated with Blud:
- Big Bad - He ends up being the final villain.
- Big Eater - He sure loves his blood bananas!
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder - Betrays Dark by giving him a fake Royal Death Note, betrays Near by helping Dark get a real one in prison, betrays Dark yet again by trying to kill him in revenge for killing him, and then betrays Mello, claiming to have been on Dark's side all along. He then betrays Dark yet again, demanding that he step aside as King of the Shinigami.
- Large Ham
- Meaningful Name - His name is Blud. He loves blood. Discuss.
- No Indoor Voice
- Species Surname
- Unexplained Recovery - And like most cases, the author doesn't even bother to explain why he came back from the dead.
- You Kill It, You Bought It - How he became King of the Shinigami and how Dark later took it from him.
Dark's brother, who starts out as Kira but quickly gets pushed aside by Dark. Light's best known line is his Oh, Cisco moment when he suggests a foursome between himself, Dark, Sayu, and Misa. L kills him, then accidentally resurrects him, and later, the two kill each other. Obviously OOC.
Tropes associated with Light:
That sounds laaaaaaaaameeeeeee!shrieked light balleting into the room. “You need to find a way to make something I need LIKE HAIR GEL"
- Foe Yay - Light's gay for L now, just FYI.
- Heel Face Turn - Is seen working with L, more often than not.
- Offstage Villainy - Light doesn't do a single evil thing in the whole fic.
- He kills Mikami and Takada. However, Mikami is revealed to be alive in the last chapter.
Light's Shinigami. Not too OOC in this, but that's mainly because Blud pushes him aside. Only pops up to be denigrated by Blud. Both times his name was spelled "Ruyk".
Tropes associated with
- Always Someone Better - Blud. Even the cake shaped like him is inferior to the one shaped like Blud.
- Demoted to Extra - Isn't it sad, Shinigami? ;_;
Light, Dark and Sayu's father. He's more foul-mouthed, quick-tempered, and willing to use violence than in the original story.
Tropes associated with Soichiro:
- Ax Crazy - He questions Mikami while spiting in his face and holding a knife to his neck "like the Joker".
- Cowboy Cop - A complete 180 from his canon portrayal as a By The Book Chief.
- Fake Defector: Helps get Dark back to America and impersonates Watari for him, but tells L that he's on his side.
- Obligatory Swearing, you pies of shit.
- Sir Swearsalot - Well, when compared to the rest of the cast.
- Watch the Paint Job - A nuclear bomb goes off in his street. Light's dad is angry that it dented his car.
- What the Hell, Hero? - To L when he kills his wife to test the Death Note.
Sachiko Yagami Light's Mom
Soichiro's wife and the Yagami siblings' mother. She dies when L uses her to test the Death Note, but gets better with the help of the Life Note. She also falls in love with Dark because according to the author, "She gotted from Dark wat she never got from Soichiro nad his creepy mustache". The author doesn't know her real name, and consistently calls her "Light's Mom". When she appears in the past, she's still called "Light's Mom" even though Light technically hadn't been born yet. The author, noting this, calls her "Light's Past Mom". One can only assume that Light's Mom had very strange parents who really wanted a grandson named "Light".
Tropes associated with Light's Mom:
- Parental Incest - OH GOD, LIGHT'S MOM.
- The Unfair Sex - It's totally okay that she's having an affair with her because "she gotted from Dark wat she never got from Soichiro nad his creepy mustache".
- Unnamed Parent - Light's Mom, although it may very well be her actual name, since L kills her by writing it in the Death Note.
Sayu Anime (formerly Yagami)
Light and Dark's younger sister. She is a lesbian and is in love with Misa. When Dark becomes King of the Shinigami, she becomes Queen of the Shinigami and is sent in to stop him. She eventually marries Misa in Massachusetts.
Tropes associated with Sayu:
- Ascended Extra - She gets maybe 5 lines in the anime. In the fic, she's one of the most important characters.
- Gag Boobs - In shinigami form.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? - "NO I AM LESBEAN REMEMBER!"
- My Nayme Is: "Sa~Y'u" as Queen of the Shinigami.
- Parody Failure: Making Sayu into a lesbian was supposed to be Suddenly Sexuality...except that Misa was already "her type" in the original anime, so this isn't much of a swerve.
- Upgrade Artifact - Uses the Everything Note to "MAKE (HER) FIGHT BETTER" against Dark.
- Twice. The second time she's good enough to starts winning!
Opposite Sex Clone of Dark, who is apparently made out of Death note pages (which enables her to kill people by getting tattoos), and has the Shinigami eyes and ears, and "will one day sign the song that ends the world" . Has the dubious accomplishment of perhaps being as much as, if not more of, a Mary Sue than Dark. She eventually gets killed by Dark while helping L avenge his death. Then comes back... somehow.
Tropes associated with Night:
- Paper-Thin Disguise - She disguises herself as a naked man. By getting a tattoo that says "IM A GUY".
- Theme Naming - Dark, Light, and now Night. The Yagami family fail at imagination.
A "clone" created from the DNA of Night and Light, but since Day likes Dark better, Day decides that Dark is actually his father (apparently this can work because Light and Dark are twins). Lives in the attic.
A robot clone of Dark. When Dark and his extended clone family are killed, Dusk saves the day because, being a robot, he's immune to the effects of the Secret Death Note. Currently lives in Dark's iPad/Death Note.
DarkNight Dawn Yagami
Yet another clone of Dark. Created when the cloning machine went crazy, creating an army of zombie Lights. Dawn has a bit of lion DNA "in there for the stronger". He dresses like James Bond.
Tropes associated with Dawn:
- Hurricane of Puns: Originally wanted to be known as "Darknight", which the author explains is "cos he likes batman". Dark changes his name because Dawn "will bring a NEW DAWN to our crimefiting!" Ugg...
Light's girlfriend, but that's as far as the resemblance goes. She has sex with Sayu, and is willing to join in a threesome with her and Light.
- Les Yay - With Sayu
- Suddenly Sexuality - Despite initially being in love with Light and having sex with Sayu only to keep her from mentioning her plans with Light, eventually goes steady with her and they later marry.
The world's greatest detective. Is somehow "Japanish" in this version despite his actual ethnicity being considerably more complicated in the source material. L is physically stronger then his canon counter being able to punch "wholes" in walls. He becomes Emperor of Japan when Dark takes over the world. Dies twice after Dark writes his name in the Death Note, but comes back with God's Ghost Note to avenge his own death. He gets killed again by Light after killing him and accidentally resurrecting him. According to other fics in the series, he is not the same guy as Lind L Taylor.
Tropes associated with L:
- Dance Battler: Uses his "brazil dancing from the beyond birthday book" against Night.
- Did You Just Frighten Cthulhu - Threatens God with a knife while negotiating his resurrection.
- Honey Trap - Subverted; L knows he's being honey trapped by Night, so he gives her a false name.
- He serves as a honey trap for Night in chapter 16.
- Ocular Gushers - Cries hard enough to put out a small fire after getting punched by Night.
- We Will Meet Again - "I'LL GET YOU DARK YAGAMI IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!"
- With Catlike Tread - Tries to stealthily ambush Mikami by jumping in a broken window screaming.
He also works to capture Kira, but ends up getting abducted by Dark and used to test out the Anti-Life Note. Near is killed twice in the fanfiction. First he's killed by Dark when Dark stabs him with a knife because Dark needs needs Near "for a sacrifis. And that sacrifis will kill L for ones and all.!" (It doesn't, btw) It turns out Near is alive and imprisoned by Dark. Dark uses Near's blood to create an Anti-Life Note, because according to Dark the "blood of a verging" to create the Anti Life Note. Dark then tests out the Anti-Life Note on Near and it's stated that he's Killed Off for Real. However, in the next chapter, Near is alive and well.
Tropes associated with Near:
- Butt Monkey
- Creepy Child - Even more than in the original. He has a Nerf that shoots real bullets!
- Improbable Aiming Skills - Can shoot Dark's bullets out of the air, and shoot the scope off his sniper rifle.
- Shoot the Bullet: To Dark.
- Unexplained Recovery - Near bizarrely flip-flops between dead or alive at the drop of a hat in this story.
- Virgin Sacrifice: To create the Anti-Life Note, of course.
Dark kills him for his clothes early on, but he survives with the help of Blud's Life Note. He returns when Blud seeks vengeance on Dark... until Dark double-crosses and kills him again.
- Back From the Dead: Blud writes him back to life with the Life Note, but...evidently dies off-screen sometime after, because he's a ghost by his next appearance.
- Sissy Villain
- Put on a Bus: Appears early on briefly, then briefly again later, then vanishes abruptly in the middle of the scene when Dark kills Near for "for a sacrifis. And that sacrifis will kill L for ones and all.!". Mello then returns (as a ghost, for some reason) after "Yotsuba" uses a Life Note on Night accidentally!
Creepy Dude/Creepy Chick
Secret father of L and Khaos, son of Watari, and short-lived villain. He got a Secret Death Note from a volcano god by sacrificing Matt. Murdered L a while back, but was eventually defeated. Works at a burger shop. The author never gives him a name.
Tropes associated with Creepy Dude:
- Villainous Crossdresser: Pulls off a perfect female disguise (which was completely unnecessary because nobody knew who he was) by using a football as fake breasts.
Secret twin of L. Works in an secret lab called "the Khaos Krib" where he eats Special K served to him by his robot mom, Kaley. He managed to defeat Dark and his numerous clones briefly, but unfortunately was defeated by the robot clone, Dusk. Uses a Computer Note which can kill people faster than a Life Note can bring them back. At some point sexed the girl from the bus.
Was the king of England at some point in the history of whatever bizarre universe this fic takes place in. Also had a death note and a shinigami named TIOSEAFJ.
Tropes associated with Shakespeer:
- Beethoven Was an Alien Spy
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: His death is really not explained that well, even for this story.
- Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe
- You Fail History Forever: Oh, where to begin?
Stated to be Kira by Takada, L and Soichiro go to his house and try to arrest him. Soichiro shoots Mikami and "kills him in the leg", which is later stated to be a broken leg. Mikami is arrested when L uses "stealth" and jumps out of the helicopter that he and Soichiro were in, while screaming. Soichiro then proceeds to interogate Mikami by holding a knife to his neck "like the joker". Mikami is Killed Mid-Sentence by Light when Mikami is about to tell L and Soichiro that Light is Kira. In chapter Mikami is shown to be alive and is referred to as " that x-kira dude no ones heard of".
Tropes associated with Mikami:
- Ax Crazy Averted to the point that Soichiro is more Ax Crazy than Mikami
- Demoted to Extra.
- Killed Mid-Sentence.
- Unexplained Recovery: In chapter 14.
Mello's friend. In this fanfiction, Matt tries to avenge Mello, but comes face to face with "Yotsuba" and causes the car to crash. Yotsuba dies and Matt is able to steal the Death Note. However, Dark is able to use the Royal Death Note and kill people in the past, and makes it so Matt dies in the car crash instead of Yotsuba. Matt is killed in an explosion that is caused when Yotsuba crashes the car. Matt is stated to have been reduced to bits.
L's assistant and suggested at one point to be his grandfather. Thought to have been killed early on but comes back due to CPR. Often likes shouting with gratuitous British slang. Often would like some Brain Bleach. During Dark's reign of the world, he becomes Queen of England and Scotland.
and also watari played a part [in Soichiro killing Dark] because he was evil and twisty and british and all that jazz.
Kyosuke Higuchi Yotsuba
He owns a Death Note after stealing one from Matt. He dies from radiation poisoning, but is brought back to life with the Life Note and tries and fails to assassinate Dark for L. Not to be confused with the other Yotsuba. Possibly supposed to be Higuchi, but since the author is a moron we may never know.
- Farmer and The Viper / Ungrateful Bastard: Attacks Dark after being revived.
- My Name Is Not Durwood: Known only as Yotsuba.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Whether he's a villain, or actually fixing anything is unclear, but either way he's responsible for Night's accidental revival.
- Put on a Bus: Appears briefly later on to accidentally revive Night with his Life Note.
le Q. Lidner Linder
Apparently a man in this version and L's apprentice. Teleports to Dark's house with the Teleport Note and tries to kill him, but ends up killing Light instead (he gets better).
Another lesbian in this version, and initially disguised as Naomi Misora. She gets killed by Light while having sex with Desk Lady.
Naomi Misora: She dumped Ray for having too small of a "man thingy," and is going out with Dark despite being in love with Night Yagami. Is not at all concerned about Dark being a Kira, and according to the author, is " a bit dum".
Tropes associated with Naomi:
- Gratuitous French: During her introduction to Dark, she not only alternates between English and French in the same sentence, but even slips into Gratuitous Spanish once.
Yuri The girl from the bus
Joins in on a
sixsome sevensome (how it's a sevensome is unexplained) with Light, Sayu, Dark, Misa, and Sachiko Light's mom, but is angry after being left out and kills Dark. It turns out she is working for L.
Tropes associated with the girl from the bus:
- Bullet Time: When she fires her guns, "everything went all matrixy"
- Dual-Wielding: Can wield five pistols at once.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Her killing Dark enables him to become King of the Shinigami, and he's thankful to her for it.
- Yandere: Kills Dark after she is left out of the group hug.
The desk lady
The desk lady works at a desk in the police station. The author has no idea what her name is, so just calls her "the desk lady". Frequently does her job naked as bait for criminals. Sexes a lot.
Tropes associated with the desk lady:
- Ms. Fanservice: Seems to be her actual job at the police station.
Seems somewhat cowardly in this version, and prone to wetting his pants. He helps Sa~Yu fight off Dark, but dies from a fall while dancing to celebrate his victory.
- Abnormal Ammo
- BFG: Apparently shoots police cars at its highest setting.
- Gratuitous Spanish: Sayu calls him "San Matsuda" in this version (he thinks she's calling him "Saint Matsuda" in Japanese) instead of "Matsuda-san" (roughly equivalent to "Mr. Matsuda")
C and S
Two of the children from
Whammy House Watari House whom L recruits to arrest (by which he means kill) the Yagami family. Their real names are "Coold Dude" and "Samanther", though in S' case S is also short for smart and sexy. Supposedly the smartest two people at the orphanage.
Tropes associated with these two:
- Adults Are Useless: Hence why L enlists 2 children.
- British English: The girls' name is "Samanther". Figure It Out Yourself.
- Informed Ability: These two apparently just writ stuff when L shows up (including stuff they 'writ' in their heads...), but we see no proof.
- Only Known As Cool Dude: Come on D'ark, "Cool Dude" is not a name.
- Shout-Out: To Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
- Trouser Space: C pulls a punch of "transformer guns" out of his pants.
- Writers cannot accurately describe the mathematical process: Samanther apparently did 3 divisions in her head. Exactly what D'ark means by this is not clear.
- Conceivably, the cells that made her up divided three times inside her head while she was still in the womb...wait.
Dark's wife. She has massively huge "bouncing bouncers". The author always misspells "Samantha" so her name is "Samanther". Becomes Light's Mom in the ending.
Tropes associated with Samanther:
- Ms. Fanservice - more than any other character, and that's saying something