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  • "Is it Gene Hunt?" "Is he kicking in a nonce?" A scene that ends with Sam, now awake, telling Gene to "stay out of Camberwick Green!"
  • Chris's date in the third episode of second season. First Ray suggests he gets her drunk, so Chris got drunk and...threw up all over her. It loses something in description but it's hilarious on screen.
  • This exchange:

 "The Law! The Law! Get down, ya divs!"

"... WE ARE THE LAW, you bloody clowns! God help us!"

    • In the same episode: Mrs Luckhurst. Especially if you follow a certain line of thought on what, exactly, her party trick was...
  • "You are surrounded by armed bastards!"
  • The opening scene from 1.02, wherein Sam, Gene, and Chris are chasing a suspect while wearing speedos. Even more hilarious are Chris's Swimmies and Sam getting whacked by the old woman with the bag.
  • From the US version, when Sam "freestyles" Vanilla Ice.
  • Sam reading suspects their rights and being told, "That's not how it goes!" Also the time he reassures a scared witness being asked to pick somebody out of a lineup that they won't be able to touch him or even see him, because he'll be behind special glass. Gilligan Cut to the witness just standing in the canteen within arm's reach of a row of Death Glaring thugs. Afterwards, Gene turns to Sam and says, "'Special glass'?", and somehow it sounds like the stupidest thing in the world even to an audience that's used to two-way mirrors.
  • "I met a bird. Medical bird." "Yeah, they're called nurses."
  • Gene Hunt's Pocket Protectors in 01-06. "What are the chances of that?" "Pretty good actually."
  • The police stations find a stash of Western-themed pornos in 1.08; what follows is two minutes of comedy gold as Gene Hunt expresses his disgust at the pollution of the Western genre, and Sam calls for volunteers to go over the evidence with a fine-toothed comb (whereupon the detectives to a man all raise their hands).
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