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- "The pen is blue! The pen is blue! The goddamn pen is blue!".
- "Write it! Write it or I'll break it off!"
- "I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and Speeediiing!!
- "It was Meeee!"
- The roast of the board.
Mr. Allen: I like your style, Reede! That's just what this stuffy company needs - a little irreverence!
Fletcher: Good! I'll see you later - DICKHEAD!
- Fletcher's fight with himself in the bathroom; if nothing else, for this exchange:
- In middle of the said self-inflicted beatdown, when another man walks on him:
Man: What the hell are you doing?!
Fletcher: I'm kicking my AAAAASS! DO YOU MIND?!
- "STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!"
- Some people cheered in the theater when this line was delivered - a sore point re: the practice of law?
- This exchange:
Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Fletcher: Because it is devastating to my case!
Fletcher: Good call!
- "Some idiot's hijacked a flight of stairs!" Not a statement you hear very often...
- From the bloopers:
Fletcher: (approaching witness with paper) Mrs. Cole (crumples up paper) A goose!!
- "The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew-- IS IRRELEVANT."
- "Short, shriveled and always to the left!"
- "Thats because you have big jugs! I mean your boobs are huge! I mean, I want to squeeze them....mama!" Cut to the next scene, where he's been punched in the face.
- Also, the sequence in the court where he keeps objecting to himself.
- HERE SHE COMES TO WRECK THE DAAAAAAAY !!!
—"Oh no! They're onto me!"
- This exchange:
Kenneth: So all we've got to do is lie, that seems simple enough.
Fletcher: DOESN'T IT?!
- Fletcher's secretary told him she's upset that her friend got sued by a burglar who got injured trying to break in. His lawyer got the guy a six thousand dollar settlement.
Greta: Is that justice?
Fletcher: No. (Beat) I'd have got him ten.