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- Every single line between Hank and Hector.
Hector: (holds up a severed toe) Is this your friend?
Hank: (deadpan) He seemed taller.
- "Why does the Big One heckle me?"
- When Sheriff Hank gets caught in the crocodile trap and then subsequently chases Hector with a big stick after they get him out of it.
- A lovely moment before Hector goes underwater to find the croc:
Hank: I brought a porkchop for luck. Maybe you can hang it around your neck.
Hector: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log.
(He dives underwater. A beat.)
Hank: Was that like a homosexual remark?
- All of Mrs. Bickerman's lines.
If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it.
- Kelly's response to having a decapitated moose head thrown in her direction.
Don't throw heads at me!!
(crying) I keep getting hit with heads!!