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  • Every single line between Hank and Hector.

 Hector: (holds up a severed toe) Is this your friend?

Hank: (deadpan) He seemed taller.

    • "Why does the Big One heckle me?"
    • When Sheriff Hank gets caught in the crocodile trap and then subsequently chases Hector with a big stick after they get him out of it.
    • A lovely moment before Hector goes underwater to find the croc:

 Hank: I brought a porkchop for luck. Maybe you can hang it around your neck.

Hector: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log.

(He dives underwater. A beat.)

Hank: Was that like a homosexual remark?

  • All of Mrs. Bickerman's lines.

  If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it.

  • Kelly's response to having a decapitated moose head thrown in her direction.

  Don't throw heads at me!!

  (crying) I keep getting hit with heads!!

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