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Kung-Fu Jesus is a Deadpan Snarker Let's Player and Something Awful goon with a pretty Creepy Monotone who is not afraid to drink and game. He often plays alongside his friends Pokecapn and/or Medibot, including the infamous Let's Play of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. The majority of his work is in their Let's Plays, but he also has several of his own.

Twisted Pixel commissioned him, MyNameIsKaz, medibot, and pokecapn (generally collectively known as "the posse") to provide commentary for their game The Gunstringer.

His manned LP credentials include:

Kingdom Hearts II


  • Cut Short: This LP stopped after nine videos available on his YouTube channel. The posse occasionally makes references to its incomplete nature.

Shadow Complex

God Hand

 The Roll: [The torch] breaks too damn easy. And That's Terrible.

 medibot: Krispy Kremes are one of God's gifts to mankind. They were originally handed down to the Jews on top of Mount Sinai during their Exodus from Egypt. That's why we eat doughnuts during Passover.

Kung-Fu Jesus: ...because they're kosher.

medibot: Right. Because... uh... when they were traveling through the desert, they didn't have time for their bread to rise... But then God gave them doughnuts, so we all eat doughnuts.

 Kaz: Take that, sign!

Kung-Fu Jesus: You fucking sign! Don't come back here anymore! You Killed My Father!

 Medibot: We call it the Gene Four Stomp. Because you stomped him four times.

 Kung-Fu Jesus: This is an Exploding Barrel. You can tell it's an exploding barrel because it's red.

 Kung-Fu Jesus: This game is so fucking awesome!

 pokecapn: Hey, it's the Great Cornholio!

medibot: I thought I poisoned him.

Kung-Fu Jesus: It turns out arsenic is only deadly against humans.

 The Roll: Goal!

 IlluminatusVespucci: You look like a real jerk!

pokecapn: Well I am an LPer.

 medibot (about Shannon): You whore!

Final Fantasy XIII-2

  • Artificial Stupidity: Much fun is poked at how residents of Academia 4XX cannot seem to be able to stand up on their moving walkways.
  • Ass Shove: How it's explained Serah stores the Artefacts, and where Hope stores his Battle Boomerang.
  • Badass Automaton:
    • Gank, a ridiculously overpowered, Commando-paradigm Dragoon monster who has about double the attack power of the player characters.
      • Memetic Badass: The posse, especially Kung Fu Jesus, can't seem to get enough of him.
    • Crushabolic held this position first, surviving almost every attack thrown at him without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately, he has recently become So Last Season with recent Downloadable Content tearing him apart too fast for him to block.
  • Better Than It Sounds (In-Universe): Chronoblind in Sazh: Heads or Tails? is initially thought to be a mindless distraction that is just as reviled as most of the game for them, but the posse eventually gets really into it once they learn the rules, playing for about half an hour.
  • Calvin Ball: Subverted, they first assume Chronobind works this way before actually checking the rules in the game and looking them up online.

 medibot: "Clocked out on a triple bind", okay, so this game has rules.

 Kaz: Embrace the void!

Dreamsower: Suck it down!

  • Crap Saccharine World: Academia 4XX according to the posse. There is no way that much random screaming and falling over would mean this time is paradise.
  • The Ditz: The posse is intentionally trying to play Serah this way in live triggers.

 Kung Fu Jesus: Okay, so the new plan is to just make her the dumbest person on the planet. Whatever planet we happen to be on at the time.

 Kung-Fu Jesus: Sorry, Gank just gets my blood going.

 Chocolina: I couldn't do anything as a tiny little Chocobo. I was so helpless.

Dreamsower: What.

 medibot: This is literally a wild goose chase.

 Mio Bison: Why would you trust her? She hangs out with a total asshole! Like... c'mon, guys!

Kung Fu Jesus: Well, why trust Serah for the same reason?

 Medibot: This is a game, that, despite the parts, comes together to elicit absolutely no response from me. I feel nothing about this game. I could not be more nonplussed. It's amazing! It's fascinating! Just how nonplussed I am.

  • Speech Impediment: Apparently medibot has a lisp. It's not okay if you make fun of others with a lisp, but it is okay when you make fun of his lisp, or so he says.
  • Squee: Kung Fu Jesus has a tendency to do this about Gank.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Kaz predicted one of Serah's lines an instant before she said it. The posse offered their sympathies.
    • Also played for laughs here:

 Kung-Fu Jesus: Kupo.

Mog: Kupo!

Kung-Fu Jesus: Indeed.

  • Stupidity Is the Only Option: The posse feels this way about the "correct" solutions to any one problem.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: The posse calls Kung Fu Jesus out on skipping an early cutscene because he got bored of it, when they are playing the game to play the whole game, not just look at what they find enjoyable.
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