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Jizzed in my pants 7316

...that and a load of laundry.


I jizz right in my pants, every time you're next to me,

And when we're holdin' hands, it's like havin' sex with me,

You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy,

I wear a rubber at all times, it's a necessity

Bob, being the loser virgin or horndog he is, is... easily overstimulated-- so much so that he ejaculates in his pants without even having sex, or in extreme cases, just from Alice talking to or brushing up against him. If he's in public, expect Hilarity to Ensue. If he's in private, expect Alice to be either extremely disappointed in Bob or proud of herself, depending on whether or not it was her intention.

In anime, a similar situation usually causes an explosive Nosebleed. Compare to Raging Stiffie. Contrast with The Loins Sleep Tonight. The end result of a Nocturnal Emission. A man ejaculating too quickly while making love is Speed Sex. Often combined with The Grunting Orgasm.

Examples of Jizzed in My Pants include:


Anime And Manga

Comic Books

  • In Viz, this often happens to Billy No-Mates the Antisocial Teenager, such as when a female shop assistant measures him for a new pair of trousers.

Film

  • In American Pie, Jim does this just before he tries to have sex with Nadia, ruining his chance.
  • In Forrest Gump, Forrest has a... moment with his girlfriend when she puts his hand on her bare breast, except he isn't wearing pants, and says "I think I ruined your friend's bathrobe."
  • Happens in a Flash Back in All That Jazz. When Joe Gideon was a boy, he performed a dance act at a burlesque show. One day just as he was about to go onstage a couple of female dancers started physically flirting with him and he had an accident. He had to go out and perform with a stain that caused the audience to laugh at him.
  • In She's Out of My League, this happens to the male lead right before he meets his new girlfriend's parents.
  • Non-humorous version happens in the Slasher Movie The Funhouse. The deformed killer strangles the woman who made him go off too early and later starts hunting the protagonists who witnessed the whole thing.
  • The Kentucky Fried Movie:

 One of the most frequent problems encountered during the sexual act is that of premature ejaculation. Should premature ejaculation occur, the Joy of Sex album comes equipped with *BOOM* BIG JIM SLADE. Big Jim, former tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, is outfitted with various whips, chains, and a sexual appetite that will knock your socks off! Big Jim has satisfied women throughout the world, and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln!

Girl: Did you just cum? --> Guy: ImplausibleDeniability No. Did you? --> Girl: No. --> Guy: Well somebody did.%% -->

  • The Orgazmorator in Orgazmo causes this to whoever it is fired at, male or female.

Literature

  • Occurs in the Parrish Plessis series. Parrish tries to Show Some Leg to get past some security guards. It doesn't work until she taps into The Corruption to supernaturally boost her sex appeal, at which point it works a bit too well.

Live Action TV

  • On Friends when Ross and Rachel have their first date he takes her on a "picnic" in the museum's planetarium display. As they get more intimate, Ross slowly rolls on top of Rachel, when she suddenly gasps.

 Rachel: "Oh, God!"

They roll to their sides, and Rachel tenderly caresses Ross's face.

Rachel: "Oh...honey...oh, that's okay."

Ross: "What? Oh, no, you just rolled over the juice box."

Rachel: "Ohhh, thank God!"

  • Happens to Mark in Peep Show. To be fair, Dobby was "accidentally" dry humping him at the time.
  • Actually a plot point and Chekhov's Gun in Glee: Finn's problem with premature ejaculation is what leads him to believe that he impregnated his girlfriend, even though he's never had sex with her. It's actually his best friend's baby, and he most certainly did have sex with her.
  • Comes up eventually in Sex And The City, with a boyfriend of Carrie's, whose family is ridiculously open about sexual stuff.
  • Kenny Powers does this in an episode of Eastbound And Down. He's drunk and making out with April in her bedroom.
  • The Fast Show's I've just come character.
  • Played for drama in Season 2 of Deadwood, when psycho mining expert Francis Wolcott has Carrie the New York Whore brought out to the camp. The audience finds out, one episode later, that he will only allow her to get him off through his trousers.
  • Saturday Night Live had the "Orgasm Guy" skit starring Rob Schneider, with the joke being the various nonsexual things that caused him to lose control (his favorite baseball team, beer in a bottle rather than a can, etc.)
  • Invoked in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffing of Hobgoblins when the phone-sex obsessed teen meets his (literal) fantasy woman:

  Mike: Oooooh boy, this is gonna be great this is gonna be--oh. I'm done.

  • Seems to happen to Karen's husband Stan on Will and Grace: they have phone sex (or rather, Karen stands there fully clothed and says "Yeah, I'm naked") and after a moment or two she says "Oh, already? Good for you!"
  • Noah's Arc: This is what happens to Noah during his and Ricky's sexual experience in a flashback.
  • Happens to a few characters Billie Piper seduces every now and then in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.
  • On Everwood Ephraim was making out with his girlfriend when she reached over his head to get some condoms. This reaching pushed her boobs into his face, and she kept wiggling on top of him to get to the condoms. They were quickly unnecessary.
  • Deconstructed in Scrubs when JD recounts how exactly he got his girlfriend Kim pregnant before their third date. He never actually had sex with her, just got overly stimulated and "fired his cannons" too early.

Music

  • The Lonely Island's "Jizz In My Pants" deals with exactly this.
  • In Stephen Lynch's Live At The El Rey performance of the song "Superhero," he asks the audience to call out superheroes of their own, resulting in him doing a skit about Premature Ejaculator Man...
  • Rough Trade's "High School Confidential": "It makes me cream my jeans when she comes my way".
  • Actually happened to Heath, bassist of X Japan, during a performance at Lollapalooza 2010. No underwear + a vibrating bass?

Video Games

  • In A Dance With Rogues, one optional sidequest involves a sexually frustrated mage offering to teleport you into the Dhorn barracks to retrieve some potentially damning evidence of your identity in exchange for sex. You have the option of making a show out of stripping down, which causes him to ejaculate prematurely and teleport you (naked) into the Dhorn barracks in a fit of rage.

Webcomics

Web Original

Western Animation

  • Reverend Putty from Moral Orel does this in "Numb" when Orel's mother flirts with him.
  • In Family Guy, Quagmire does this after walking in on Peter and Lois being nudists.
  • King of the Hill: At a church group for born again virgins, a character tearfully admits that while getting a massage at an arts and crafts fair, he "sinned his pants".
  • This shows up in gags in Robot Chicken, one involving Peter Parker and another involving a fan at a Star Trek.
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