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 ** Master Li: And then you punched a mountain. In SPACE.

  • When you're given control of The Black Whirlwind for a few moments, check your mission log and read his steps for getting up in the morning.
  • In the excursion to the swamps, you get a quest to find Fen, the Flower of the Fields. You then see a woman guarded by some enemies and save her. Her name is Wa, and "Fen" is the man's ox. She gives him quite a chewing out.

 Woman:Are you lying to me?

Man: No, dear.

Woman: Are you listening to me?

Man: No, dear.

A slapping sound is heard

  • Most of what Kang the Mad says, as well as Black Whirlwind and Henpecked Hou, leading to some light moments in some of the more serious environments in the game.
  • Behind the tea house in Tien's landing, you can talk to a cook and his assistant. Their dialogue certainly counts as this.
  • The Outlander quest in the Scholar's Garden.
    • Clarification for those who have not played the game: an absurdly-dressed outlander (a man from a Fantasy Counterpart Culture of Elizabethan England, voiced in an over-the-top manner by John Cleese for the heck of it) named Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard has showed up in the Scholar's Garden and started insulting the Jade Empire. One of the scholars is out looking for someone who wouldn't loose their cool at the insults, and finds you, who he asks to convince the outlander to leave. This is accomplished by beating him in a debate, after which you are challenged to a duel in which he uses a musket named Mirabelle. On his defeat, he leaves in disgrace.

  Sir Roderick: Percival! FLUFF MY TRAVELING TROUSERS!

  • Some of Minister Sheng's dialouge.

 "Now go close the dam and I never said that!"

(cue melodramatic ham)"Surely there is no minister more unfortunate than Minister Sheng!"

  • The list of terrible things that have happened to Minister Sheng since he took office, ranging from a dog defecating in his shoes, being told he was "smelly", being insulted by local children, and having his office burned to the ground.
  • Causing all of Princess Sun Lian's entourage to faint upon meeting her in the Imperial City. Especially since their embarrassment for her causes her more embarrassment than your actions.
    • And you get a bonus for it, too!
  • If you take the role of Lady Fourteen Flowers as a female Spirit Monk, the playwright will essentially propose that you disguise as a man playing a woman. Values Dissonance has rarely been funnier.
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