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"Over the past five years at You Are Dumb Dot Net, I have repeatedly claimed to be redefining my personal vision of Hell. And each time, it was mostly true. But from now on, if I ever say that? I'm lying for comedic effect."
Bryan Lambert
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Black Mage: (Upon dying and going to hell) Wait, if I did evil, and you guys are evil, then shouldn't you be showering me with rewards and concubines?

The Devil: This is hell. We're big on irony here.
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But such a talent is worthless in Hell where time doesn't exist. Hell gave me everything I wanted and then changed the rules so that it didn't matter.
—Arloest, Jack
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Baby Blue: Don't go easy on these guys, Fyoosh. They deserve to be punished. They're worthless scum and they know it.

Fuchsia: Isn't that punishment enough?

Baby Blue: No. You gotta drive the point home!

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