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 Detective Flippers: Well, we can't arrest people just for being creepy.

Bill: (on the radio) Fred, you know that guy we got in the tank?

Fred: Uh... the creepy one?

Bill: Yeah, better let him go.

  • And the Wolf when he says Red flying hummingbirds is creepy.
  • "Watch out for Keith."
  • The Wolf's commentary on "Top of the Woods".

 Wolf: The tune was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.

 Wolf: "So, how's the new delivery system working out?"

Red: "Well..."

Cut to Japeth the Goat minecarting deliveries: "Oh, I got horns to hold them muffins, and I got horns to hold them pies."

  • Also

 Red: "For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job."

Wolf: "What can I say? I was raised by wolves." (cut to Wolf family portrait)

    • Pretty much anything involving the Wolf, actually.

 Chief: "What do you do for a living, Wolf!"

Wolf: "I'm a shepherd."

    • Or Twitchy, for that matter.

 Twitchy: "Heyboss, aladderlookie!"

Wolf: "God as my witness you will learn to speak. Hey look, A way out."

Twitchy: "...butthat'swhatI... sigh..."

    • Also this one:

 Twitchy: (extremely fast) "Thecriminalyouarelookingforcannotbefoundatthebottomofthemountain;heresidesatthetopinacavefortresswheremycompanionsaretryingtodetainhim."

Chief: "He seems to be speaking... words of some kind."

  • The goat flying in out of nowhere with horn-propellers on his head."I WAS PREPARED!"
  • The numerous Shout Outs in the sequel made this trooper's day. Especially Boingo as Hannibal Lector
  • The classic "Grandmother, what big [insert facial quality here] you have!" exchange, as reworked by the movie:

 Red: "Whoa, what big hands you have."

Wolf: "Oh! All the better to scratch my back with."

Red: "And what big ears you have..."

Wolf: [Increasing irritation] "All the better to hear your... many criticisms. Old people just have big ears, dear."

Red: "And Granny... what big eyes you have --"

Wolf: [Exploding] "Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting?!"

  • Nicky's tone as he sums up Kirk's story.

 Nicky: So, you didn't jump through the window, you were pushed. By a tree. Because you were pretending to be a woodsman. To sell foot cream.

Kirk: I got callback!

Nicky: And good for you. Suffice to say, our thespian friend here knows the least about anything.

Kirk: Exactly! What does that mean?

  • Nicky about to interview Red:

 Nicky: What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists could slip right out. How about a cage?


Nicky: I was being sarcastic.

Bill: (disappointed) Sarcasm, strike the cage...

  • In the sequel when Verushka is giving her big speech

 Granny: Why are you telling me all this? I was there

Granny: Did you really practice that speech?

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