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- After giving Twitchy coffee: "What have I done?"
- "Use the hood!"
- Andy Dick. Just Andy Dick, including his Villain Song and his Famous Last Words: "Not a cute little bunny! NOT A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY!"
- "I was close. I thought his name was Greg. Greg Stiltsken."
- The cops' reaction to Red claiming that the Wolf is creepy.
Detective Flippers: Well, we can't arrest people just for being creepy.
Bill: (on the radio) Fred, you know that guy we got in the tank?
Fred: Uh... the creepy one?
Bill: Yeah, better let him go.
- And the Wolf when he says Red flying hummingbirds is creepy.
- "Watch out for Keith."
- The Wolf's commentary on "Top of the Woods".
Wolf: The tune was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.
Wolf: "So, how's the new delivery system working out?"
Cut to Japeth the Goat minecarting deliveries: "Oh, I got horns to hold them muffins, and I got horns to hold them pies."
Red: "For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job."
Wolf: "What can I say? I was raised by wolves." (cut to Wolf family portrait)
- Pretty much anything involving the Wolf, actually.
Chief: "What do you do for a living, Wolf!"
Wolf: "I'm a shepherd."
- Or Twitchy, for that matter.
Twitchy: "Heyboss, aladderlookie!"
Wolf: "God as my witness you will learn to speak. Hey look, A way out."
Twitchy: "...butthat'swhatI... sigh..."
- Also this one:
Twitchy: (extremely fast) "Thecriminalyouarelookingforcannotbefoundatthebottomofthemountain;heresidesatthetopinacavefortresswheremycompanionsaretryingtodetainhim."
Chief: "He seems to be speaking... words of some kind."
- The goat flying in out of nowhere with horn-propellers on his head."I WAS PREPARED!"
- The numerous Shout Outs in the sequel made this trooper's day. Especially Boingo as Hannibal Lector
- The classic "Grandmother, what big [insert facial quality here] you have!" exchange, as reworked by the movie:
Red: "Whoa, what big hands you have."
Wolf: "Oh! All the better to scratch my back with."
Red: "And what big ears you have..."
Wolf: [Increasing irritation] "All the better to hear your... many criticisms. Old people just have big ears, dear."
Red: "And Granny... what big eyes you have --"
Wolf: [Exploding] "Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting?!"
- Nicky's tone as he sums up Kirk's story.
Nicky: So, you didn't jump through the window, you were pushed. By a tree. Because you were pretending to be a woodsman. To sell foot cream.
Kirk: I got callback!
Nicky: And good for you. Suffice to say, our thespian friend here knows the least about anything.
Kirk: Exactly! What does that mean?
- Nicky about to interview Red:
Nicky: What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists could slip right out. How about a cage?
Bill: BRING IN THE CAGE!
Nicky: I was being sarcastic.
Bill: (disappointed) Sarcasm, strike the cage...
- In the sequel when Verushka is giving her big speech
Granny: Why are you telling me all this? I was there
Granny: Did you really practice that speech?