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Halo: Combat Deformed

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"I guess we should abandon ship."
Captain Keyes, after staring at a map for fifteen minutes
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"EVERYBODY SMILES AT KITTENS!"
—The Master Chief, about to kick Chips Dubbo in the testicles
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"TALK LATER! RUN NOW!"
—The Master Chief
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Halo 2 Idiots

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"There was only one ship."
—The soon-to-be Arbiter, while holding up three fingers
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"Oh, God! I think that last bullet bounced off my pelvic bone and went into my spleen."
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"Holy shit."

"Exactly."
—The Arbiter and the Prophet of Mercy
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"Fate had us meet as foes, but this ring will make us lovers!"
Gravemind
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Chief-isms

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 "Holy organic donuts!"

"Sweet salamander's milk!"

"What the bunny buttersticks was that?!"

"GREAT SCUTTLEBUTT!"

"RUBBER DUCKY!"

"HOLY MOTHER OF Mary Poppins!"

"FUUUUNKYYYY OOOOOCTOOOOP—D'OH!"

"Oh, Twinkies."

"BAD...PIE!"

"GREAT Kurt Cobain'S GHOST!"

"SAVE ME, SPIDER-MAN!"

"UGLY Avril Lavigne!

"Great. Caesar's. Salad."

"GREAT GRAPE GATORADE!"

"How the Velvita am I supposed to know what top speed is?"

"Great Arnold Schwarzenegger's wrinkled biceps!"

"WHY THE MXYZPTLK DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!"

"Donald Trump'S UNRULY HAIR!"

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