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  • Acceptable Targets: Averted; France's brutal treatment of Destro's ancestor is what pisses his entire family off. Played somewhat straight after the Paris sequence; the French move in on the Joes with RAID. And smack Ripcord in the face. And wreck their gear. Then say that the team is banished from the country. The French would rather lose a city.
    • Well, the Joes DID cause a crapload of collateral damage AND failed at stopping the villains. It could be a Deconstruction of Hero Insurance, even.
  • Cliché Storm
  • Complete Monster: Despite being willing to nuke (I mean "nano") several world metropolises, Destro manages to avoid this. Likewise, Zartan and Storm Shadow both come off as having redeemable qualities even as they do horrible things. The Doctor, however, is just pure psychosis.
    • For the record, he mind controls and prostitutes his sister. He even has the audacity to claim he loves her after admitting to doing so. This is in addition to playing a central role in MARS attempt at world domination.
  • Crowning Music of Awesome: The Joes' Leitmotif, starting at 34 seconds in.
  • Evil Is Sexy: Baroness, oh so VERY much.
  • Fashion Victim Villain: Cobra Commander. After switching to the metal full-head helmet, suddenly his skinniness becomes more apparent and he looks like a bobblehead or lollipop. One of the few cases where Shoulders of Doom might help.
    • Or a hood that covers his eyes holes.
  • Ham and Cheese: Christopher Eccleston as Destro.
    • And Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander. Both of them know exactly what kind of movie they're in, and that makes their scenes together the most interesting.
    • Actually the entire cast, to various degrees, it's GI FRIGGIN Joe.
  • HSQ: Snake-Eyes is so awesome that Storm Shadow has developed an innate "Snake-Eyes just did something awesome" sense.
  • Magnificent Bastard: The Doctor AKA Rex, AKA Cobra Commander.
    • Arguable since the Doctor is such complete sleeze that he lacks the flair of a typical Magnificent Bastard. Destro is much closer to the traditional view of the trope, pulling off his schemes with all the flourish of a Bond villain.
  • Misaimed Fandom: This troper is probably not supposed to think that Storm Shadow is stylish, sexy, kind of chivalrous and totally Badass...
    • He cast a good looking Korean dude; Somers knew exactly what he was doing.
    • Considering that in the comics Storm Shadow turns out to have been good all along, and in the original script his last line was to be "It was not I who killed our master," there's nothing misaimed here. Storm Shadow really is that awesome. Being played by Byung-Hun Lee is just icing on the cake.
      • As mentioned below in Older Than They Think, most of the time it's Zartan who killed the Old Master. Though he wouldn't be there if not for Storm Shadow...technicalities! Aren't they grand?
  • Narm: Cobra Commander does a grand entrance... and is caught and put to jail few seconds later.
  • Nightmare Fuel: The Nanomite's Cyanide Pill, and Destro's transformation.
  • Older Than They Think: The movie pulls ideas from several different toy lines, comic books, and animated series. Many of the details that fans complain about the movie "changing" are taken right from the source material ... just not an iteration of the source material the complainer is familiar with (e.g., you don't have to like the powered suits, but if you know the G.I. Joe: Sigma 6 line, you know the movie didn't make them up).
    • Likewise "International Heroes" was part of the Action Force theme. GI Joe also worked for the United Nations in Sigma Six.
  • Relationship Writing Fumble: Yeah, Storm Shadow, you're killing the Baroness' husband on "Destro's orders." Sure...
    • Doesn't help that they come off of as more of a Battle Couple than Scarlett and Snake-Eyes, the ORIGINAL pair of leading lady and badass ninja.
    • The novelization seems to add considerable mutual witty banter and, yes, flirtation.
      • While we're talking about The Book Of The Film, it also offers Ho Yay for Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, who seem to be matching Official Couple (sort-of) Duke and Ana/The Baroness flashback for flashback, meaningful look for meaningful look. (Bizarrely carries over to the Ninja Showdown kid's book.) Oddly out-of-place due to the gist of their past relationship being "We really, really don't like each other."
  • Retroactive Recognition: What the HELL happened to Arthur?!
  • Romantic Plot Tumor: The Baroness and Duke is pretty central to the storyline, even if it feels unnecessary to the mythos. G.I. Joe, after all, has no small shortage of improbable relationships across every canon. Ripcord and Scarlet, however, seems to have drawn almost universal scorn.
  • Rooting for the Empire: Part Baroness in Tight Asshugging Leather Pants, part dislike of the comparatively flat characters of the Joes.
    • What, we need an excuse to scream "COOOBRAAA!!!"?
  • Snark Bait: Many of the film's cliches, but when the movie opens with "In the not too distant future...", you get an inkling about what you're in for.
  • Special Effects Failure: While a majority of the special visual effects were well done, a CGI cobra at the beginning of the film sticks out like a sore thumb.
  • WTH? Casting Agency: You'd never imagine Marlon Wayans and specially Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this movie. Surprisingly, Joseph Gordon-Levitt really pulls it off, and Marlon Wayans... is, well, Marlon Wayans, although even he tones down his fundamental Marlon Wayans-ness a bit.
    • Channing Tatum as the leader of the Joes? Seriously?
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